The Only Reason You're Relapsing

Emm no! You can take something complex and simplify it!

 

Your right there are NO EXCUSES because if you give yourself some you will always find a way to give in. I myself blew a 300 day streak because I got to lazy about following what worked for me thinking I could handle anything and it bit me

 

I commend your passion, but controlling oneself is like a muscle that can lift its own body weight. Can it happen on the first try? Maybe, if they have developed a willpower muscle like yours. But many of us are building muscle right now with supplements like opening NoFap daily. We'll get there... never lose hope!

 

There's truth in this, discipline is the key. But there's also what I'm going to call environment-control.

When you talk about discipline, what you are really talking about is behavior training. Our conscious mind is weak and slow, and willpower inevitably fails. You need to reconstruct behaviors and your environment.

The Marshmallow Test - a well known experiment. They tell toddlers that if they can leave a marshmallow alone for 2 minutes, they will get two. Half of them succeed, and half of them fail. Interestingly, both halves tend to exhibit similar behaviors. The ones that failed all did the same thing: they stare at the marshmallow...Those who succeed looked at their own shoes, or crossed their arms over their faces.

All temptations are that marshmallow. The key is just not have the marshmallow in sight, in the environment.

So, how do we apply this to noFap?

• Your internet. Porn blockers.
• Put your masturbation lube out of reach in the attic.
• Your stash of rare, collected porn-friends. Must be deleted.
• Install apps to limit internet browsing time.
• If you are super desperate - take extreme measures and move your PC to another room. Maybe take away the chair so you have to stand, or crouch to use it.
• Put your phone in another room before going to sleep. If you use your phone for your alarm clock - get a proper alarm clock.
• Plan a holiday or camping trip on the start of nofap for an easy start.
• Look away from your Marshmallow Triggers...girls butts, or whatever.
• Spend more time with others.

I'm restructuring my environment so I don't need to do the will power game. A game most of us lose.

Then you can focus on discipline. Training the subconscious mind. But I find if you sort out your environment, the mind starts to retrain itself. It's the environment that gets most people. I've cut out sugar. I don't have any sugar in the house. So I don't partake. I still have a sweet tooth. Now, when I go to a friends, and they pour a drink. The cup suddenly ends up in my hand.

I controlled my environment straight away, and I've managed to stay away from porn for 2 months now. Masturbation on the other hand is much harder - you can't run away from your dick.

But even then, there's still environmental ways to deal with that

 

Oversimplification much? Or is this tough talk just an attempt to rally the troops?

Nofap isn’t a simple choice like deciding what shirt to wear in the morning. PMO is an addiction and your rant is completely without regard to that fact.

If you truly are “tired of this shit” why are you here whining? You’re a grown man, delete your account and move on with your freakin life already.

 

I don't get why so much salt towards other people trying ? You have 155 days, you should be happy

World and its problems are not black and white, you may not be as heavily addicted as another who cannot have the same kind of talk.
Btw, I love that "self-discipline" worship, lol, for what I know self-discipline doesn't cure addiction, it only helps to improve at something.

Not everyone sees the world the same way than you are, your angriness will not help anyone...

 

Let's just stop attacking the OP, and focus on what's more interesting to this discussion.

Is it really just about discipline, or lack-of? And do we need more? Or is it more complex, and what other factors are in play - like the environmental ones I mentioned above.

 

It’s an addiction. Clearly it’s not simply about discipline or lack thereof. Volumes have been written here and other places addressing this already.

The attacks on the OP are warranted. His vitriolic rant serves no purpose and does more harm than good.

 

They call it an addiction so they can keep doing it over and over - addiction presupposes you have no free will or control over it. It's simply an intense desire for something that you choose to develop, then you deceive yourself into giving into it as if you had no choice.

 

This whole thread is smelling very trollish. I’m out.

 

I think most people here have ended up saying something to the effect that this is a complex issue. We all come at it from different places. Obviously, if you're (for example) depressed, someone shouting at you to man up could be unhelpful to say the least - there's a time and a place.

But honestly, I feel a lot of doubts about my capacity to fight this sometimes. A good sharp reminder that I CAN do this is helpful to hear from time to time. Anger tends not to last as a motivator but I actually don't hear anger in OP's tone. As someone said earlier, it's rallying language. I see it as another tool in the toolbox.