The Origin of Femdom

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by ZenAF, Mar 19, 2019.

  1. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    THE ORIGIN OF FEMALE DOMINATION



    Since a lot of people are having issues with femdom and sissy porn and the like, I decided to share my knowledge about the origin of female domination with you, as it may help you to break the delusion.



    There are many reasons why men can be drawn to dominant women, but the underlying force is the same: It's a drive to return to mother nature, to the Uroboros, back to the womb, back when the burden of responsibility didn't exist yet and we were in tune with nature.
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    The Uroboros, the snake that bites it's own tail, is a symbol for the origin of existence, chaos, nature, eternity, death and birth

    Carl Jung, the most famous and successful psychologist of the 20th century had a student called Erich Neumann, who wrote a book called "The Origin of Consciousness". Early in the book my mind was blown because I suddenly fully understood the phenomenon of Femdom (even tho Neumann never used that term) and where it comes from. I'm going to try to summarize as best I can.

    To understand Femdom you need to understand the archetype of the Devouring Mother.
    The definition of an archetype is a bit too complex to explain it in full detail, but you can see it as a pattern of behavior that is constantly being embodied by people cross-culturally since the beginning of time.
    There are many archetypes, men have two main archetypes, the benevolent father and the tyrant. One positive one negative. Women have the benevolent mother and the devouring mother. You all know Mother Mary and so you all understand the image of the benevolent mother.
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    Various representations of the benevolent father
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    Benevolent mother


    To explain the devouring mother I have to recap the psychological development of consciousness first. But before I have to mention that these findings made by Neumann are not classic science in the sense that you can unmistakably proof his theories. Because what he did was to cross-reference countless accounts from different early cultures all across the world, comparing their commonalities in terms of psychological behavior and symbolism and based on that laid out a sequence of developmental stages that humanity went through AND, neumann thinks, every child makes through too as they grow up!

    In the beginning there was unity. Being was harmonious. People were very close to animals with very little consciousness, without responsibility. This state is represented by the Uroboros. Their life was dependent on and dictated by nature, just like the life of a child is dependent on and dictated by its mother.

    In this state, the feminine ruled, people worshiped mother Gaya, she who brings life into being and at the same time eats her own fruit to make new life again, completing the cycle. The role of the masculine at this stage was merely the role of fruit. They were the seed that grow and live to serve the great mother only to be sacrificed to her as soon as they're ripe. Hence the name the devouring mother.
    Remember we're talking about a psychological developmental stage. Humans were once a harmonious part of nature and fully dependent of her (of course we still are, but not in the same way). That dependency was expressed in imagery that came out of the unconscious of people. In many cultures they worshiped female deities first.

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    The next developmental stage is in mythological stories often depicted as the splitting of the parents. From one make two. The sun and the moon separate. Consciousness is born and masculinity starts to distinguish itself from nature. With that comes a great deal of stress and disorientation. The harmony is lost, people and nature start to be at odds with one another, the ego and a sense of self is born. The splitting is painful and scary, just remember the first time when your parents left you alone with other kids or other adults and you had a strong urge to go back to the comfort of your mom. But you soon learned that you are your own person and that you can say "no!" to your mom. And with time and courage the archetype of the hero is born. The hero confronts the dragon of chaos (the devouring mother), bests her and frees the virgin (the benevolent feminine).

    From a rational perspective what I've written just now may seem pretty random, but that's the nature of the language of symbolism. That's how dreams work too btw, they are based on symbolic language. So your rational mind might be taken a back but your unconscious undoubtedly understands what I'm writing. For the same reason you can watch a cartoon movie like "Pinocchio" as a kid and fully understand it's meaning, even tho it's just drawings of a talking puppet saving his father from a whale.

    As mentioned an archetype is a behavioral pattern that is represented constantly across time. Nowadays a devouring mother is a mom that doesn't want her kids to go out of the house, because she's not willing to give up her role as nurturer and therefor doesn't want her kids to grow up. The result is eg. an Eric Cartman from South Park, we commonly refer to them as manbabies.

    But the professional representation of the devouring mother so to speak, is the modern day dominatrix.
    I've watched many femdom hypnosis videos (why else would I write this thread :p) and I've observed the same pattern over and over again. You can tell by the language and the intent that they use to get you to do one thing and one thing only: Give up your sense of self and return the leadership to her. In other words, become a fruit again.

    "Just relax and let go. Listen to my voice. Forget about your worries. I'm all that matters now. I'll make you feel good."


    When you go further into the femdom "training" and you pay attention to it, you can clearly recognize their emphasis on your cock!
    Because that's all you are to them. A cock. A fruit. Your personality is meaningless. Your will is meaningless. You're here to serve and here to die for her.

    It's quite shocking to see the subconscious power of the devouring mother that's being played out in all the female dominated relationships around the world. All the men end up with a caged-penis and an absolutely shattered sense of self.

    [​IMG]
    (I intentionally chose an image that shows no curves, I hope this ok with the forum rules)


    So what makes men do that to themselves? Well if you understood what I've written so far it should be clear why. All of us have a need to go back to the Uroboros. It's normal. Our house is a form of Uroboros, our bed, our sleep. We need rest and retreat to regain force to face the challenges and the suffering of the world the next day.

    But when men deep inside are too insecure, they flee from their responsibility (which at the same time constitutes their freedom) and they rather yearn for absolute retreat and there are women who complement that pathology. Women who hunger for power and control.

    It's easy to fall into the trap if you don't understand what it really is, because it's very seductive to leave the burden of your responsibility behind and fall back into the embrace of a woman. Your unconscious can lead you right down that alley without you ever consciously admitting to yourself what you're getting yourself into.

    But the point is it's not healthy. It's not just a "kink". It's pathological. There are no successful long-term femdom relationships. Because think about it from the perspective of the devouring mother. You don't just eat one fruit, you eat many. When one man is used up the next one comes. And in the end it's not fulfilling for either party.


    So I know this is a long post, I took a snip-it from Neumann's work and strongly condensed it, if you want to know more, read his book. Or ask me questions.

    Hope this helps and thanks for reading
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 20, 2019
  2. AVALANCHE

    AVALANCHE Fapstronaut

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    i am a bit confused does that mean attraction to femdom is some sort of an instinct ?
     
  3. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    Instinct is the wrong word, because a man that completes all developmental stages from childhood to adulthood will not feel attraction towards femdom. But I've tried to make the point that it goes much deeper than a kink like a foot fetish.

    The point is when you grow up you're supposed to become more conscious of yourself and the world, take more responsibility for your life and have a balanced relationship with your partner, instead of a one-sided one.
    Femdom on the other hand takes the opposite route. You regress in your development. Hence it's unhealthy.
     
  4. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, very interesting and original topic. While I never got deep into femdom stuff, i do remember that i used to search for videos where i needed women to "take control", tell me to ejaculate inside them or whatever. Basically, i needed them to take over and make me do something i could not do myself. I needed a female to take over so that I could let go. I think this is the essence of femdom, even though the more extreme cases involve some (more) fucked up shit.

    Now, i think this theory (you referenced) is a bit too complicated. I think it's just a matter of submissiveness. And submissiveness and lack of agency does involve a life "free of worries", even tough it's a life poorly lived, especially for a man.

    Submissiveness is a female trait and females screen possible mates for dominance and aggression. It's that way over most of nature. Females love to let go if they find a man they consider worthy. If not, they keep pushing him around until he cracks.

    A devouring mother has a tendency to dominate over his child, but in a very subtle manner, by making him feel incapable and dependent on her.
     
  5. AVALANCHE

    AVALANCHE Fapstronaut

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    and if a man didnt complete all developmental stages how can he fix that?
     
  6. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    I don't know yet. I'm struggling with it myself. I don't fall for actual mistresses or femdom porn anymore since I know where it leads. But when I fantasize on my own I mostly imagine a femdom situation. So I'm not free of it, I like it too much.
    As I said that shit runs deep, whatever the solution is it can't be easy. I'm just focusing on doing the things in life that I know to be right, it's best thing we all can do.
     
  7. Hoorak

    Hoorak Fapstronaut

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    My 2 cents.
    I was into femdom alot so i will write my opinion.
    Porn use starts starts (in most cases ) with " normal " , vanilla type porn or just some pics. After time if u overdue it (PMO) it gets boring, u need a stronger kick. Then u get into a little bit weirder, kinker, than more and more and u end on femdom ( or some else perverted). Porn trains u to be passive, to watch others having sex, in a way it trains u to be a cuck, quite successfully i think. From that training the destiny is this femdom. Its the ultimate being passive , obeying, watching, not getting active involved into an act, bassically u watch and in on hand is your dick. From my experience , this how things worked for me , i would be disgusted, even scared if i would have seen a femdom scene as a normal child. Your brain gets used to things , it must have nothing to do with instincts. And now after abstience for me left are anxieties and a not working dick. It doesnt matter where or why was i into femdom , what counts is never going back.
    Still nice post, interesting to read
     
    ZenAF and ultrafabber like this.
  8. AVALANCHE

    AVALANCHE Fapstronaut

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    yea fantasy is really hard to stop for the whole day specially when it affects your work in the day and also its intensity increases every day on nofap which making it hard to stop and to concentrate on other things the longest streak i made before i made an account here was a months then i just relapsed from fantsizing from this day i cant make it to 7 days without relapsing to the fantasy of femdom
     
  9. Aust

    Aust Fapstronaut

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    What is wrong with your dick? Is it from a chastity cage?
     
  10. Hoorak

    Hoorak Fapstronaut

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    Haha. No. Im glad i never made it this far. Only watched femdom porn and did some self experiements.By not working i mean something like PIED. It can be weeks even a month without morning wood, and dick does not react to normal girls only to porn fantasies.
     
  11. Aust

    Aust Fapstronaut

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    Ok, id be interested for you opinion on my post I made today if you care to read it.
     
  12. Gvn2Fly

    Gvn2Fly Fapstronaut

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    I agree with you that it's not just a "kink" and that it's pathological, at least for me. To me, sometimes femdom feels more "spiritual" - like you mention how cultures worshipped female deities - To me that feels more natural.
     
    CS1 likes this.
  13. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    The point I hoped to make was that as long as that tendency of letting the devouring mother control you stays unconscious, there's a low chance that you realize why it's wrong. Only when you know the full story, that to her you're no better than a fruit and you'll end up "consumed" (which in today's terms can mean something like ED or a cock cage), you will understand why it's the wrong way to go in life.

    It doesn't even have to do with porn. Chances are once you discover your femdom tendencies that you look for that in a real relationship. But nothing good comes out of that. One-sided relationships are not long-term sustainable.
     
    Joe92 likes this.
  14. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Wow this is really eye opening

    But I wonder then. Is the cure for femdom then to grow up and accept responsibility?
     
  15. Gvn2Fly

    Gvn2Fly Fapstronaut

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    What if, even before ever seeing the porn, I WANT to be consumed. I want to end up in a cage. I want women to literally walk all over me. Even knowing the story doesn’t help. How do I get the devouring mother out of my subconscious?
     
  16. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    You probably need to replace it with a benevolent mother figure (at least I assume so based on his original post)
     
  17. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    I think it is very much linked to that. But then again most things are linked.. If you at your core aren't fully convinced of yourself, if a part of you thinks you are weak and inadequate (which is the state of a child, but ideally men grow past that stage), that's what will drive you most towards femdom, because she's gonna take care of you. You don't need to be your own person.
    Of course you want it, because she gives you what you think you deserve. The fact that you resonate with the archetype means that the way the devouring mother sees you, no better than a fruit, is how you subconsciously see yourself.

    To be a fully developed man means to lead, which means to live by principles and know which direction to go in life, which means to be convinced that what you do and who you are is right and good. In biblical terms it means to orient yourself towards God rather than the devil. Which is akin to accept your suffering and work for the good in the world rather than trying to avoid your responsibility and only work on feeling pleasure.

    When you start to move towards that ideal you'll grow less and less fond of femdom, because it no longer resonates with who you are.

    I for example know I still have insecurities so I'm still a bit fond of femdom, one wouldn't be able to tell when one meets me, but inside I can feel that there are complexes that were caused sometime during childhood that are so deep that they unfortunately won't disappear in a short time. But it's gotten much better since I understood what to aim at in life.
    Don't whine about your pain. Understand how you make other lives miserable if you don't do your best. Speak the truth at all times and don't fear the consequences. Don't be a fckin weasel.


    No, it doesn't quite work like that. To move towards the benevolent mother would be the right move for a woman who understands that she's more on the devouring side. But when it comes to the sexual attraction of a man, you can't replace the devouring mother with the benevolent one, because the benevolent one isn't sexually attractive as an archetype. Mother Mary isn't sexy, nor any other representation that comes to mind. The devouring mother in her pure form isn't sexy either, it's a monster (as you can see well in this indian representation I've posted) but unlike the benevolent one, she uses sex to get what she wants.

    You don't need to worry about trying to change what attracts you to the feminine. Whatever that is is a natural result of who you are as a person. Just like you can't just turn yourself gay, you can't just stop being attracted to femdom. You distance yourself automatically from it as you change yourself from the boy into the man you're supposed to be.
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2019
    TimeToQuitNow likes this.
  18. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    I've made a thread about this
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...-humiliation-and-sissy-porn-addiction.249718/
    and I will say how I cured both anxiety and being turned on by femdom on this thread.

    https://theshoeman647325124.wordpress.com/category/medicalisation/
    "Odynophilic (masochistic) pleasures derived from pain trigger a reaction from the autonomic nervous system."

    https://www.vox.com/2014/8/26/6066069/swearing-science-obscenity-research
    "swearing seems to activate the autonomic nervous system"

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16157378
    "Especially high levels of serotonin are found in limbic forebrain structures."

    https://people.howstuffworks.com/swearing4.htm
    "Swearing specifically involves: Swearing is connected to the limbic system and basal ganglia, located in the interior of the brain."

    https://www.healthpages.org/anatomy-function/brain-anatomy/
    "The basal ganglia is made of gray matter"

    https://www.nhs.uk/news/neurology/watching-porn-associated-with-male-brain-shrinkage/
    "In a small study, MRI scans found that men who watched the most pornography had less grey matter – complex brain tissue – compared to men who watched the least. "

    https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/326090.php
    "Serotonin inhibits impulsive behavior, while dopamine enhances impulsivity."

    https://www.medicinenet.com/paraphilia/article.htm#what_is_the_treatment_for_paraphilia
    "SSRIs may be a helpful addition to other treatments, because they tend to decrease sexual obsessiveness and urges associated with paraphilias"

    This article says a lack of serotonin can cause "masochistic tendencies".
    https://globalharmonycrew.com/test/serotonin-deficiency-test/jgi902569a4534aec310c646c28e78a49b7/

    https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-surprising-health-benefits-of-swearing/
    "Psychological & Physical Health. The best health benefits of swearing include increased circulation, elevated endorphin, and serotonin levels, and an overall sense of calm, control, and well-being."

    https://link.springer.com/article/10.2165/00023210-199503010-00002
    "Based on the available animal and clinical literature, diminished central serotonin (5-hydroxytryptamine; 5-HT) neurotransmission may be involved in the aetiology of human sexual impulse disorders."

    https://journals.lww.com/neuroreport/Abstract/2009/08050/Swearing_as_a_response_to_pain.4.aspx
    www.web.archive.org/web/20190805030...9/08050/Swearing_as_a_response_to_pain.4.aspx
    "The observed pain-lessening (hypoalgesic) effect may occur because swearing induces a fight-or-flight response and nullifies the link between fear of pain and pain perception."

    https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/06/120621223525.htm
    "The study, conducted in rats, adds weight to evidence that immune responsiveness is heightened, rather than suppressed as many believe, by the so-called "fight-or-flight" response."

    The way I cured my agoraphobia, and coincidentally stopped being turned on by femdom, is a rather weird method but this has worked amazingly well for me.
    I use the voice in my head to shout at myself in an aggressive macho voice calling myself a "pussy, faggot, bitch" with "motherfucker" between every word. (It doesn't have to be these exact words, any swear words and offensive names should activate the fight or flight response). I think it's better to do it in sentences rather than individual words as weird as that sounds. Watch "scared straight" episodes and emulate it to sound like the prisoners shouting at you (I think scared straight 99 is the best one). A really good example of how it's meant to sound is the beginning bit of the song "Woodie - Mob Livin". If you feel it stresses you / makes you more alert !keep doing it! and do it when inside and not concentrating on something. I often do it for hours while lying down and have been doing it everyday for months now. (It's very tedious).
    When I say voice in the head I mean the voice that you "hear" when thinking about something. There's no need to say it out loud.
    And it's not about insulting yourself. I don't feel insulted at all when I shout these words at myself weirdly. I only do it to create the fight or flight response.
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2019
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  19. wethebest

    wethebest Fapstronaut

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    I haven't read this post & for this next reason. But please please please stay away from femdom
     
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  20. Sharksvv

    Sharksvv Fapstronaut

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    Femdom is what I was addicted to for years and years, and there’s so many sub categories/genres of it with fetishes and so forth, it’s dangerous because as the years pass your tastes start evolving to desire more sick, degrading and extreme things. It caused my PIED and a shit ton of depression at one time for me.

    I mean sensual domination in the bedroom with a loving partner can be healthy and fun even, but not the femdom crap online that destroys your psyche and self worth/esteem.
     

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