The Origin of Femdom

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by ZenAF, Mar 19, 2019.

  1. rohanpuch

    rohanpuch Fapstronaut

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    This is indeed complicated. We had a chat over this on a forum I used to be a part of elsewhere. Now, I haven't read any of the works, in fact, most ideas I have are my own and such things only seem to confirm what I observed happening around me. I was 13 when porn addiction hit me. It was when my dad had left for work outside the country we were in. It led to some difficulties. I was living with my mom and as you described it, it was shit. To be honest, if that sort of a thing continued for a bit longer, the unspeakable would've happened. She would deliberately put me down, spy on me and cook up stories that she told dad about my doings that were specifically aimed at destroying my sense of self, my own view of myself. Now, I didn't develop femdom-like issues but my pornography addiction solidified in the process. Also, something weird happened. I developed some extreme opinions on women. I believe that to be the reason why all my relationships were extremely short lived. Even now, I get those flashbacks where my mother would just humiliate me for me having playfully teased my younger brother. The bitterness runs so deep it's almost as if it's a part of me. This may seem like a superficial input on the forum but a lot of what I do now is driven by not me, but my pursuit of organizing myself subconsciously. I can feel me in there but have forgotten what it was like to be normal.
     
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  2. femdomsucks17

    femdomsucks17 Fapstronaut

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    i can relate to that....even my past was kinda similar to yours
     
  3. rohanpuch

    rohanpuch Fapstronaut

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    Is it truly possible to become Alpha? I spoke with this other dude and had a chat about this concept in detail. I think that your tendencies are congenital. Fetishes seem to work in the exact opposite direction. They're not at all who you truly are but what is taboo to you even subconsciously. So it is possible to analyze the personality based on the fetishes developed after porn use. Now I'm not suggesting porno is the way to knowing oneself. What I am saying is this; is it truly possible to rid yourself of these innate tendencies that you have? Childhood experiences are a good example. I'm no Freudian. I think his work was a load of crap but the way you respond to those experiences is the true reflection of the real you.
     
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  4. femdomsucks17

    femdomsucks17 Fapstronaut

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    you can't completely get rid off it...i have had feet fetish before i even started watching porn but all the other weird fetishes were porn induced and after staying clean for 171 days in the last 190 days i'm slowly starting to get attracted to normal vanilla sex...i can see the light on the other side..you dont need to complicate a lot...just stay away from porn and let nature take care of your brain in rewiring...i have gotten rid off many weird fetishes..you name any i've had all of it but feet fetish is something i had it from early childhood days and that is something i have to learn to live with it and even my gf is okay with me playing with her feet and but unlike previously where only femdom turns me on...i have even taken part in sessions twice but now i'm actually getting attracted to normal sex and i know this is just the begining but all i can say is there is hope...just make sure not to feed your brain femdom stuffs
     
  5. Low Serotonin makes sense to me. But little gray matter? You mean femdom addicts are dumb? That I don't buy.
     
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  6. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    Depends what you mean "getting rid off it". Once you've entered the world of femdom and dwelled in it for a certain amount of time, you know it. Period. And you won't forget what it is, meaning you can always get back into that mode, because you know how. However through personal development you can make yourself stop craving it. Rob it's unconscious power over you by making it conscious. That process is called Jungian shadow-integration. I haven't read much about it, but I know the basic concept: We are ruled by unconscious forces and entities (meaning personalities). The majority of it is inaccessible to our consciousness. But a portion of it belongs to those things that we could be aware of if we only chose to look at them. That area is called the shadow.
    Watching porn, watching femdom, I would say belongs largely to the shadow. Because most of us, especially when we don't join a porn addict community forum, are not making ourselves truly aware about the things we like to watch. You don't sit there at lunch thinking, So why exactly did I watch this nasty video yesterday? Let's go through the scenes one more time to try to understand why I was watching that particular porn. Most of us don't like to talk to ourselves about porn, let alone talk with others. And to the degree we ignore what we're into, we are willingly unconscious of it, keeping it in the shadow. And by not wanting to understand it, it gains power over us because of our curiosity. When you're genuinely curious about something within your grasp you can't keep your mind from going there over and over until you fully understand it. Since we're scared of discovering those maybe unwanted parts of ourselves, we willfully turn a blind eye to them. Hence our lives being continually interrupted by those unconscious forces potentially making us insecure about who we are. So the solution is to broaden your awareness about who you are. Get more #woke bro!!11 xD
    But all jokes aside, I know no better method than that to get a grasp on anything really that troubles you in life.

    And to quickly wave my opinion-banner: That's also why I'm against porn blockers. They keep your unconscious curious. What's behind that Berlin Wall? I have some memories.. Is it still like that? Guess, I wont know... for now. Exactly for now, until you finally lulled yourself into the belief that you've actually beaten your addiction by staying two years porn free through the help of blockers. So you deinstall them and then, that night, the first seed of self-doubt rises. Just a whisper in your mind Well technically I could just open up a porn site right now.. Haha, very funny, I'm over that. And maybe that's already it and you fall asleep. But the seed stays and grows. Come on man, I just want to see what it looks like, I won't jerk off I promise, just a quick look for fun.
    How long before you give into it? That depends, but I can guarantee you that it will ruffle your feathers good. As you begin to understand that not watching porn with blockers installed is something completely different than not watching it when you have a choice.
     
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  7. fedmom

    fedmom Temporarily Suspended

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    I'm not saying they're dumb, it depends on the region of the brain. Low gray matter in the amygdala is linked to sexual perversions.
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2019
  8. rohanpuch

    rohanpuch Fapstronaut

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    That's exactly it. Discipline is what must be practiced. One would pounce upon the first opportunity of getting to watch porno again if he had been doing it with the help of porn blockers. Discipline and full understanding is the permanent solution.
     
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  9. feelsbadman2000

    feelsbadman2000 Fapstronaut

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    Anyone have a success story as far as beating this shit?
     
  10. Master Chips

    Master Chips Fapstronaut

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    There are success stories who battled it. And indeed it can be surely stopped as any other fantasy or gained fetish. As we brainwashed ourselves with pornography contents, we can brainwash ourselves with the rebooting and factual healthy materials.
     
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  11. Gvn2Fly

    Gvn2Fly Fapstronaut

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    It's been a tough addiction for me to quit, I've had femdom fantasies most of my life and been watching porn since 15 or so..almost exclusively femdom / findom / humiliation with some girl/girl thrown in. I'm 35 now. I've been working on quitting since March of this year and I feel like I've been making progress through the year. I've been addicted for so long, it's not realistic to expect an easy fix. Everytime I fail/relapse, I just keep trying again. I will not give up until I'm over this addiction.

    I recently destroyed/disposed of a massive femdom hard drive I've had and been saving stuff on for 10 years. I've wanted to get rid of it for a while, but was never able to do it. That was a big step toward healing. As of now, I've gone 5 full days without watching any kind of femdom clip and am usually able to go a few days at a time without it. I know it's not much, but It's a big improvement from the daily hours-long binges I was doing. I feel like I can beat it.
     
  12. when_im_down

    when_im_down New Fapstronaut

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    WOW. Thank you very much for the intellectual post. Great insight here.
     
  13. fedmom

    fedmom Temporarily Suspended

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    That symbol of the snake appears in masonic symbolism and the eye of horus looks like the limbic system funnily enough. And another thing is the upright triangle is the symbol of masculinity (upside down one represents femininity).
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2020
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  14. PappinAce

    PappinAce Fapstronaut

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    I know exactly what you mean. My parents were the same way, and as far as I've observed, just about everybody in the civilized world treats their children like this now (to varying degrees of extremity of course). To me its the most profoundly pathetic behavior to poison the self-worth of your own children. The mystery that keeps me occupied nearly every waking moment is why people do this, how they could fall into such deep levels of stupidity.

    From what I have observed, civilization robs people of two types of power which are birthrights for a human: the power over our own impulses (losing this power is what led some of us to be compulsive masturbators) and the power over your own life (i.e., you grow, hunt, or forage for your own food, and move through the world on the strength of your own legs). This lifestyle that we live, we yield to every infantile impulse. We dance to the tune of petty bureaucrats so that we can be fed and sheltered by them. We speed all over the place in these ridiculous fossil-fuel burning death-machines because our planet has been covered in concrete. This is a life of pure degradation. Civilization is degradation. It turns us into man-children. So, when one of these 'common rabble' types has a child (and they do, because sex is sense pleasure, which is all that matters to these people), they become giddy like a toddler on Christmas morning, because they finally have a creature that they can exercise power over. So instead of giving their children love, they revel at their ability to degrade something in the same way they have been degraded. It's like avenging ourselves for what's been done to us, but instead of using our energy to rebel against the system, we take it out on the children.

    But honestly, how stupid can a person be, to think that this is going to get them anywhere? Maybe shouting at your son or daughter gives you a type of rush, you feel big and powerful picking on a child, maybe almost like when you hit the sweet spot your first time drinking alcohol. Then it turns into a habit of diminishing rewards, and you become nothing more than a pathetic deadbeat that picks on your own children. It's incredible how universal this illness has become.
     
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  15. StopForever

    StopForever Fapstronaut

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    First, I really enjoy reading what you shared with us. It makes me rethink and rethink why I am a femdom addict. What are the similarities comparing with my childhood? I was reading it and kept comparing it to the point where you mentioned "a lot of what I do now is driven by not me". I am talking to myself it is very true. It is not really me as well. That is not what I want to do.

    Is Femdom something I really like? I think so but it causes unbearable damage to my family and the so-called Mistress's family (of course, herself as well). I was talking to myself I don't like causing damage, I don't like to be a bad person. I need to ask myself who I am and what I want myself to be. I just need to have enough reason(s) to get out of Femdom.

    So, turning the femdom habits into a path that I actually should follow is right. Let's find the reasons to become ourselves again.

    Lastly, really thanks for sharing your story and also making me moving things forward. I may be a lousy big mouth keeping talking rubbish. But I know if I can keep my promise to the end of my life, I can help the people around me and no more so-called pro/lifestyle dominatrixs hurt by me.
     
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