The Pain of Aloneness

[Dexter Moran]

Loneliness,physical and emotional can be overwhelming.I get very conscious of my own loneliness late at night and first thing in the morning. It can be overwhelming and I get very bitter and angry about my single status.
At times I masturbate in order to relieve this loneliness.I get a fleeting sense of connection to whatever image or memory I am concentrating on.But then reality sets in and I am much worse of than before.
I then have a deep sense of shame and impotence! Can anyone relate to what I have just written?

 

[DeepParkWater]

I understand from a young age i used porn to substitute for a real relationship. Recently i got out of a LTR due to my addiction with porn. My most recent relapses all had to deal with the crippling loneliness of being single, not having someone there i completely understand.

The only thing that has really helped me in the darkest moments of my despair is meditation. It not only helps me release the negative emotion and understand them, it helps me have a sense of peace. In terms of the depression aspect theres numerous articles online about how to get out of a depression or get rid of loneliness but at the end of the day know thats its a long battle. But it has to be won one day at a time just like nofap

 

[Deleted Account]

My addiction to masturbating is driven by connecting to others, on chat sites in my case. I almost never masturbate without chatting.

 

[DeepParkWater]

I almost never masturbate without chatting.

If thats the case then maybe you should just try to talk to women on a normal basis. I know this is tricky but theres plenty of dating sites where you can chat to women on a day yo day basis

 

[Deleted Account]

I am married and can talk to my spouse, but not about this. I find i crave this when i work from home or travel for work.

 

[DeepParkWater]

I am married and can talk to my spouse, but not about this. I find i crave this when i work from home or travel for work.

Well i understand if you cant talk to your spuce about this. I couldnt talk about this with my former partner non married. The one thing i wish i told myself in the past while we were together was to meditate regukarly. Be conscious of your thoughts and actions. A lot of the times i felt that i was out of control of my actions but subconsciously i knew what i was chasing. I was robotic in a sense because all of us are controlled by our habits or subconscious mind.

During my efforts rebooting meditation has helped tremendously not only in gaining clarity but also focus on what i want vs what i dont want. It also increases neuropladiticity so it helps your brain heal!!!!

I beg you dont be a fool as i was and tackle this head on. It wont go away easily but the only thing you can do is try

 

[TONYP]

Porn became an outlet for me when I was young for many reason, one of those being loneliness. I didn't have the confidence to meet people or even hangout with the ones I knew. Porn and masturbation actually made it worse however. I think what help me the most was finding a career and hobby I was proud of. Something that gave me the confidence to meet people, and better yet, feel comfortable alone.

 

[Deleted Account]

Well i understand if you cant talk to your spuce about this. I couldnt talk about this with my former partner non married. The one thing i wish i told myself in the past while we were together was to meditate regukarly. Be conscious of your thoughts and actions. A lot of the times i felt that i was out of control of my actions but subconsciously i knew what i was chasing. I was robotic in a sense because all of us are controlled by our habits or subconscious mind.

During my efforts rebooting meditation has helped tremendously not only in gaining clarity but also focus on what i want vs what i dont want. It also increases neuropladiticity so it helps your brain heal!!!!

I beg you dont be a fool as i was and tackle this head on. It wont go away easily but the only thing you can do is try

Can I ask what you mean by, "dont be a fool as i was and tackle this head on"? I do feel out of control at time. I do things that are not me. But it is weird, at times the thought of being out of control and being addicted was arousing to me. I will look into the meditation. Thanks for the suggestion.

 

[DeepParkWater]

Can I ask what you mean by, "dont be a fool as i was and tackle this head on"?

Well my case a bit more extreme than most being a student using adhd medication made my dopamine pathways burn out quicker than most. Eventually my need tk escape to porn got worse and worse (coolidge effect) and i lost the love of my life. We got back together and i vowed to never use porn like that again.

Over the next year slowly over time i lost control. This was due to stress ADHD medication and an angry lover that further added to my stress. Honestly in that year looking back it was already over, the signs were there and she actually made it more difficult to recover with the gaslighting. But ultimately i let myself get there in the first place.

Anyways my.point being is that ultimately desires are desires, but if taken to an extreme PA will infiltrate every area of your life

 

[Deleted Account]

Thank you so much for begin so open. That actually helps quite a bit for me. I can definitely relate to the Coolidge Effect. Over the past year things have really escalated and I found myself doing things that i really regretted after. Finally I realized that that behavior was so bad and the cycles of regret were detrimental.