The Path of Least Resistance porn addiction recovery method

tawwab1

tawwab1

Fapstronaut
START HERE

Welcome! This thread is a work in progress to document a recovery method which is poorly-documented and lacks a central reference point. It's so poorly-documented that one could say it doesn't even exist!

If you're a newbie to NoFap, I recommend skipping the first 2 posts and starting with Post #6.

If you're experienced in the ways of NoFap, please read this thread from the beginning and catch up completely before you jump in with comments.

Thank you. -Tawwab

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THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE

We talk a lot about recovery methods here, but we don’t tend to discuss the easiest and most effective method because it is a method that does not exist. It exists in the sense that people follow it, achieve their goals with it, and help others with it, but not in the sense of having a name, a book, or a group promoting it. No name, no founder, no school, not even a website. Practically speaking, it does not exist.

This is not something mystical or beyond words, nor is it a secret. It's a practical idea anyone can understand, though it's not simple or easy to practice. The reasons why it is not spoken about are many and hard to explain, so I'll return to that topic later. The immediate problem is that we’re all quite confused and don't know where to start. Those of us who have discovered the method's power all have different tools, techniques, do's, and don'ts. We can't agree on anything or even understand each other.

It's like people in isolated places in the world trying to reverse engineer the same UFO that crashed in their backyards. They all know that it works, but they don't know HOW it works. And they haven't been able to work together to figure it out.

More importantly, we keep mixing it up with other methods that are halfway similar, but don't serve our needs. And this makes it impossible to get anywhere.

So, let’s start by giving it a name. Let’s call it "the Path of Least Resistance," or the Path for short.

This thread is to discuss the Path. If you think you have an idea of what the Path is, but you aren't sure, then follow this thread and read what I have to say. Maybe a light bulb will go off and someone more qualified will say, "Oh. I get it now," and help me out.

Let's establish some crucial points first:
  • As of right now, the Path of Least Resistance DOES NOT EXIST.
  • The Path of Least Resistance has NO BOOK, NO FOUNDER, and NO SCHOOL
  • There are other methods out there similar to the Path, but THEY ARE NOT THE PATH.
 
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I will explain more. But I needed to clear the air first so people don't jump in and muddy the waters with these other methods
 
In post #1, I cleared the air by saying that the method I am calling the Path of Least Resistance does not exist. But there are similar methods floating out there, even with similar-sounding names. So, I have to address the problem of "those other methods."

THE ATTRIBUTION PROBLEM

Unless you're a Prophet, knowledge doesn't come down from the sky in the form of lightning bolts. It comes to you by way of other people. So naturally, we tend to attribute things we learn to the person we learned it from. "I learned this from so-and-so." This gives us an authority figure, a shared reference, and a body of knowledge to work with. And it satisfies our need to show gratitude.

We need to let that go for a moment.

Consider this: maybe what you learned about the Path is not thanks to the people you learned it from, but IN SPITE OF those people. I know that's true about myself, but maybe others, too.

I can't give you all the details because I don't have them. But I can illustrate what I mean using a silly, fictional story: a made-up story that has no basis in fact whatsoever.

This is the story of a man named Albert Van, or A.V., and his addiction to nail biting. A.V. was frustrated. He tried all the products and therapies recommended by his doctor to quit biting his nails. None of them worked. Then, in a turn of fate straight out of the movie “Office Space,” he went for hypnotherapy and came back a changed man. He never lifted his nails to his teeth again.

A.V. discovered some bits and pieces of the Path. And he did not keep it to himself; he picked up his pen and wrote down all the insights swimming around inside his head. Then, he started to teach. He used the Path to help people quit nail biting and other addictions. But not everyone was happy about it. The medical profession became his enemy that day. Doctors and therapists tried to stop him, because he was not one of them. So, he vowed to prove the doctors wrong. And he was successful in his quest to prove them wrong.

You might assume that A.V. is the hero of this story. In the final analysis, he was only trying to make money. And to make money, he had to become part of the medical system. This system of "gatekeepers" forces people to agree with them, even when they're wrong. So when they finally accepted A.V.'s ideas, he became one of them and agreed with them on all the other things the were wrong about -- i.e., porn addiction is not real, and viewing porn just a harmless hobby.

He sold out and became just another gatekeeper. His actions saved many people from nail biting addiction, but he doomed many others to porn addiction. So, to us, he's not a hero, but a villain.​

Like I said, this is a fictional story. There is no A.V., just like there is no A.B. or A.Z. But it illustrates my point: that sometimes you need to save your knowledge, but just drop the person you learned it from. That's fine; let life be your teacher. They got the knowledge by the grace of God, and they passed it to you against their will. So be grateful that it's not theirs anymore, and make it your own. Have your own authority figures, your own shared reference points, and your own body of knowledge.

This story has a villain, but it also has a hero: you.

_________________________________________

As I said in Post #1, the Path of least resistance has NO FOUNDER, NO BOOK, and NO SCHOOL. If you're thinking of a method named after some famous person, you need to go back and ask yourself:
  • What are the parts of this method that make up the whole?
  • What are the stages it takes people through?
  • What are the conditions, pillars, and foundations of it?
  • What would it look like without the famous person?
We're all loners in the Midwestern prairie, tinkering with crashed spaceship parts. Let's get this baby in the air.
 
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THE ANTI-WILLPOWER METHOD

Most people on this site are using the willpower method. You can tell because they are struggling a lot and relapsing often. Their check-ins read like, "I had the most insane urges today, I almost relapsed 3 times but I held on by biting my finger until blood / jogging 10 miles / sleeping in a tent outside / throwing my computer in the garbage / etc."

Willpower is the power to resist temptation or make sacrifices to reach a goal. So when you rely on willpower, you are taking a stance that PMO is a temptation and quitting it is making a sacrifice. Think about that.

The Path of Least Resistance is the anti-willpower method. Consider: you don't need any willpower to avoid electrocuting yourself with live wire, running naked in the street, or checking yourself into a mental hospital. The only reason why you see PMO any differently is because you lack perspective. You've been blinded by the addiction and can't see the true nature of it. The Path is all about rehabilitating your thoughts, giving you perspective to see things more clearly.

Once you do that, you don't need to "resist" PMO because you see it for what it is. Just like you don't need to "resist" stepping in front of traffic or jumping off of a building. That's why I called it the Path of Least Resistance.

Is it possible? Yes. Is it easy? Relative. Is it simple? No.

Other names for the Path might be:
  • The Anti-Willpower Method
  • The Rational Thinking Method
  • The Following Instructions Method
  • The Back-to-Front Method
  • The Zero-to-One Method
  • The Disgust Activation Method
  • The Desire Deactivation Method
  • The Two-Monster Method
More to come.

________________________

There are many methods out there like the Path, but only one Path. The Path has NO FOUNDER, NO BOOK, and NO SCHOOL. If you're thinking of a method with any of these things, that is not the Path. Please see post #4.
 
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I am not judging anything. I'm not an authority. I'm just starting something. Over time, people here who recognize what the Path is will see this thread, see the pressing need for it, and add their own notes. If you have doubts, just follow along and keep reading. All will become clear.
 
It feels like you're trying to define something with no need nor possibility to be defined. There's too much niche to any individual to define a one-size-fits-all path to recovery.
Your advice and personal recovery journey would be an aid to many people in search of wisdom, but I think you're blowing it out of proportion.
Beginning the explanation of your methodologies, with deeming it "The Path," gives what seems like really solid advice a bad taste.
 
Thanks. This is good feedback from both of you. I'm not the best writer I know. Later, I'll consider editing my posts later to make them more approachable. But right now, just stay with me please until I've sketched out a clear picture.

This is not me making up wild theories that have never been tried before. I am reverse-engineering an alien technology. A UFO crash landed in my backyard and I am collecting my notes here. I expect other people who have also had UFO crashes will find this thread and contribute. And maybe we will build a working ship.
 
You’ve said a lot of things so far and I want to isolate portions to help make sense of them.

The first part, if I may, the unspoken part, is your sincerity and I believe 100% in it. You genuinely want to help and you genuinely feel you’re onto something that others have tried to articulate before, and I don’t think you’re entirely wrong. You’re trying to penetrate addiction recovery to a deeper level than five easy steps, or the X method, or the strength of a motivational speaker; some template that may work for a small percentage, but leaves most addicts still addicted and a little more frustrated. I get that, I understand that, and it’s true. People are complicated, we don’t need a one size fits all instruction manual to help us build a sober life out of a kit, we need to learn recovery theory and apply it. We have to become experts, but there don’t seem to be any decent teachers, hence the “retro-engineering a UFO” analogy.

I also stand 100% behind your observations about deep rehabilitation, about needing to radically reposition yourself to a point where you don’t have to resist porn, because you have no desire to use it in the first place. That makes the most sense out of everything you’ve said. You’re right, you don’t have to resist playing in traffic, but if you do, you have bigger issues in your life you need to address & the suicidal ideation will fade. It’s the same with porn addiction. Not people who casually use and decide they don’t want to anymore, but those of us who decide porn is a massive detriment to our wellbeing and highly contrary to our values, but we still experience a compulsion to view it; we have deeper issues that need to be addressed. When we do, the compulsion to search and view will fade, and we’ll only have the disgust so quitting will be easy. That is, as far as I know, absolutely correct.

I think where you’re losing people is your emphasis on the hidden nature of this practice. You’re spending a lot of time on how this movement has no leader, but you’re the one talking about it which makes you the de facto leader. You’re talking about how this idea or method has no name and isn’t defined, while trying to define it.

It’s okay for ideas to have names. They don’t lose any power if you name them. It may lose some allure or mystery when you name and define it, but it does make the idea more accessible and easy to communicate.
 
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LINEAR SEQUENCE

What I observe is that the Path of Least Resistance is a linear sequence through time. This involves passing through stages, one by one, until you finish them all. And you do not stop doing PMO until the final stage.

At some point in the Path, something “clicks” and you achieve a feeling of total, uncompromising, pure freedom from PMO, where you know you are ready to beat the addiction and never return to it. This is not the final stage. This is somewhere in the middle.

In the final stage, you don't desire PMO, you don't miss it, you don't think about returning to PMO, and don't even have urges. This is a complete recovery.

You can't skip any stage in the middle. You have to go through each stage one by one. Some authors have compared the Path to a padlock with a numeric code. You have to enter the digits one by one to unlock it. You can't skip any digits.

The time it takes to complete all the stages is still not defined. In my experience, one week is the fastest. If I had to give a rule of thumb, I would suggest 1 month.

Spending the proper amount of time in each stage greatly affects the chance of success. Some people stall out and never finish. Some people skip stages and end up with a weak recovery.

You can follow the Path more than once in your life. If your recovery was weak, just start from the beginning and go through each stage again.

I haven't done the analysis yet to count and define each stage. That's for another day. This post is just to say that the sequence matters.

Be warned:
Resisting the desire to skip to the end is one of the hardest things about the Path.
This is the one thing you have to resist.
This is because the Path involves feeling 100% ready to quit PMO, but still doing PMO until you finish the full sequence. People have a tendency to quit as soon as they feel ready, and this reduces the power of the method. Feeling ready is only a middle stage.
Skipping stages is why so many people try the Path, fail, and then say it doesn't work.
There’s much more I can say about this but I’ll leave it at that for now.

Review:
  • The Path is a way to recover WITHOUT USING WILLPOWER.
  • The Path must be followed IN THE PROPER SEQUENCE.
  • As of right now, the Path of Least Resistance DOES NOT EXIST (except inside this thread).
  • The Path of Least Resistance has NO BOOK, NO FOUNDER, and NO SCHOOL. I am not the founder, I’m just taking notes. There are many books people read while following the Path, but no definitive book ABOUT the Path. Maybe one day, we will have all these things. But not now.
  • There are other methods out there similar to the Path, but THEY ARE NOT THE PATH.
 
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Bro, if I may....There's actually a few words for all this: understanding, insight, wisdom.

When one truly understands the nature of addiction and their relationship to it, it loses its hold on them. So rather than clutching for dear life in a display of sheer, heroic will power, there's a release, a relief, and a deep bellowing laugh.

The problem is you cannot systematize understanding, which is why you're saying it has no name. Yet, ironically, there are in fact NUMEROUS systems that try to do just that.

All religions, for example, have an esoteric dimension that attempt to do that. In Islam, there's the Path of Ma'rifa/Sufism (gnosis). In Buddhism, there's the Path of Insight (Vipassana). In Christianity, there are various monastic orders and mystical schools that focus on understanding more than love/will. In Hinduism, there is Jnana Yoga, or the Path of Intuitive Knowing (as opposed to Bhakhti Yoga, which is about love, or Karma Yoga, which is about action).

I admire your attempt to draw attention to this higher way of tackling addiction, but its nothing new under the sun. That said, I think its valuable because even though there's an abundance of insight schools and systems, I haven't come across much literature that makes a solid bridge between those systems and PMO/sex addiction. So I look forward to seeing where you're going with this.
 
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Ghost️ said:
Hey @tawwab1,

I wanted to apologize for my comments in this thread.
Click to expand...

Apology accepted! No worries at all @Ghost️.

Meshuga said:
those of us who decide porn is a massive detriment to our wellbeing and highly contrary to our values, but we still experience a compulsion to view it; we have deeper issues that need to be addressed.
Click to expand...

This is one of the main gaps I see with methods that are designed for other addictions: they don’t include the self-discovery / emotional healing part. I will address that.

InnerMan said:
Bro, if I may....There's actually a few words for all this: understanding, insight, wisdom.
Click to expand...

Welcome, brother. You’re thinking much bigger than I am. I’m just trying to apply my analytical mind to a recovery method I see other people doing here and which I have picked up, but has no name and has not been analyzed like this before.
 
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Note: I will always welcome feedback and constructive criticism in this thread. I just have one word of caution: rushing to judgment and jumping to conclusions is a symptom of PMO addiction because PMO creates a bias for instant gratification. This was one of the insights I gained from @Littlefella 's journal. So please don't rush to judgment or jump to conclusions. Don't be tempted to form an opinion on the basis of 1/10th, 1/5th, or 1/2lf a picture. I am writing this down in an organized way over time. Please be patient.

NO BOOK ... MANY BOOKS

A pillar of the Path of Least Resistance is to follow the guidance of a mentor through the different stages (see Post #13), and that guidance comes in the form of a book. I don’t know any other way. The rebooter needs to read a guidebook or source book that walks him through each stage, and provides the necessary information in the necessary style to take him from stage to stage.

There are many books out there used for this purpose. I know of at least 4. But these books all contain flaws. Some of the flaws are so serious that they cancel out the benefit of the book, and can weaken the person's recovery. The reason why people are able to use them is because they are open-minded enough to see past the flaws of the book to the truth underneath. So these existing books don't really count.

Just like the existing methods are not the Path (see Post #4 - a very important post in this series) -- the existing books are not the right book.

Let me describe a book which, in my mind, would fit the criteria of a good guidebook or source book for the Path of Least Resistance.
  • Suggested title: "The Path of Least Resistance for Quitting Porn Addiction"
  • Suggested subtitle: "The No-Willpower Solution for a Complex Modern Problem"
  • Author: Ideally a Ph.D in Psychology or licensed counselor. At least, an experienced (500+ day streak) rebooter.
  • Contents:
    • Direct style (reader is addressed directly as "you").
    • Dense style (each page contains around 3-9 different insights and points).
    • Short (100-200 pages).
    • Authoritative (author speaks from direct knowledge / expertise in porn addiction recovery).
    • About porn addiction specifically.
    • Structured based on the stages of the Path.
    • No legal / copyright issues.
There is currently NO BOOK that meets all of these criteria, although there are books that meet some of them.

Even my posts in this thread, once they are complete, will not meet all the criteria. I hope they will serve as a blueprint for someone more qualified than me to write the official Path of Least Resistance book. Or maybe it will be a guide for rebooters to make do without an official book (for now).

Let me summarize: following the Path means reading a guidebook or source book from beginning to end, and following all the instructions in the book.


_______________________________
Review:
  • The Path is a way to recover WITHOUT USING WILLPOWER.
  • The Path must be followed IN THE PROPER SEQUENCE.
  • The Path requires following a BOOK. That book DOESN'T EXIST yet. The existing books are so flawed, they don't count!
  • The Path of Least Resistance has no founder and no school (currently).
  • There are other methods out there similar to the Path, but THEY ARE NOT THE PATH.
 
BREAKING THE INTERNAL RESISTANCE

One of the stage transitions in the Path of Least Resistance that must happen early is going from a porn addict who believes freedom is out of his reach, to a porn addict who believes freedom is within reach. Notice that I chose my words very carefully. I didn't say "easy," because recovery from PMO addiction is not "easy" for anyone. But it is within reach for everyone. And it can be enjoyable as well.

The transition is made through a voice of authority. If the rebooter is traveling the Path by way of a book -- and I don't know of any other way (see Post #16) -- the author of the book is that voice of authority. The author addresses the reader directly and assures him that he can and will achieve freedom from PMO. He promises to take him through the stages necessary to recover. And he gives evidence that he is qualified for this job. In return, he makes the reader commit to following his instructions.

I believe something akin to hypnosis happens in this exchange. The human mind is extremely sensitive to authority. When it encounters a perceived authority figure, it lets its guard down and stops resisting what that person is saying. This is true for all levels of consciousness, and the effect is easier to activate than we think. Reading a book that addresses you as "you" activates this effect. The words "Ph.D" or "Dr." next to the author's name activates it. Seeing that the author is himself a recovered addict activates it. Persuasive arguments and a confident, clear writing style activate it. Making a conscious choice to follow the author's instructions, instead of reading in a passive or non-committed way, activates it.

The opposite things weaken the effect. Copying and pasting text from different authors into one book weakens it. Writing in an indirect voice weakens it. Muddying the water with other agendas weakens it. Having an anonymous or pseudonymous author weakens it. Having an author who isn't an experienced rebooter weakens it. Writing in an overly academic or technical style, or using awkward terms weakens it. Addressing other problems as an analogy for the reader's problem weakens it. Reading the book passively just to "try before you buy" weakens it.

Note: If you feel like chiming in with, "There are other ways to believe in your recovery than that," - the point of this thread is not to give general advice. It's to describe a specific method to solve this problem that works.
 
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I am in support of your method. It seems to me like many Rebooters who seem inexperienced find major success when they use very simple methods such as a full-blown dopamine detox and just straight up quitting social media. I can also personally attest to this method. I really do find that this addiciton is easiest to counter when it's presence in my life isn't important and I can focus on myself. I find myself melting down in desperation and questioning why I struggle so harshly - when I spend so much time thinking about, talking about, reading about sexual-related content. And realistically, every time I've been successful for 50+ days, often 100+, I follow the Path of Least Resistance UNTIL the short period of time leading to failure. I will provide an update on my current streak to this channel, should I fail or succeed. I currently sit in the middle ground in terms of daily technology use and the sexual severity of content I view.
 
LostSon41 said:
I find myself melting down in desperation and questioning why I struggle so harshly - when I spend so much time thinking about, talking about, reading about sexual-related content.
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According to the Path of Least Resistance philosophy, you're struggling because you are still affected by the "brainwashing" of the addiction. I've written many essays before on the brainwashing behind PMO addiction (check my sig) but I haven't written about it in this thread yet, so I'll be sure to do that.

LostSon41 said:
And realistically, every time I've been successful for 50+ days, often 100+, I follow the Path of Least Resistance UNTIL the short period of time leading to failure.
Click to expand...

This could be for many reasons.
It could be that you're relying on willpower, and your willpower is strong enough to make it to about 50-100 days.
It could be that you are not relying on willpower, but you're becoming careless after 50-100 days and letting the brainwashing seep back in. Images aren't just images. They are carriers of thoughts and ideas. Ever heard the saying, "A picture is worth a thousand words."?

Thanks for stopping by and voicing your support. I wish you well. Let us know how it goes!
 
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FREEDOM MINDSET

The Path of Least Resistance is not just a routine you follow (#13) or a book you read (#16). It is a certain mindset you need to achieve and maintain: the mindset of a free person.

It is not easy or simple to self-transform from the mindset of an addict to the mindset of a free person. But the Path of Least Resistance represents the best and most reliable known way to do that, and it is, relatively speaking, easier and simpler than using willpower.

The Path fixes person's the mindset BEFORE fixing the person's actions and habits. This, I believe is the secret behind its power. It is a secret shared with some other methods, but they have flaws and inconsistencies that weaken their effectiveness (see post #4).

So what is the mindset of a free person? For example:
  • Not moping. Example of moping: Go to the main porn addiction forum here and look at the most active thread on any given day. It is a huge mega-thread that's full of nothing but people moaning and groaning about how difficult recovery is and how many problems in their life they blame on recovering from porn addiction. This kind of talk is the worst kind of trigger. Once you start feeling sorry for yourself that you're free, you are paving your way back to slavery.
  • Not identifying with the addiction. One major problem that keeps us in chains is identifying with the addiction. We forget that there was a time before we became addicted to this, and there are many people just like us who never got addicted or who beat their addiction. As a result of this misconception, we assume that recovery is hopeless. You are not the addiction. It's a parasite leeching on you. Get rid of it to be your best self.
  • Enjoying recovery. The opposite of freedom is slavery, and no one wants to be a slave. So shouldn't freedom be celebrated, enjoyed, and relished? If you're really free, and you also know what being a slave is like, every step you take, no matter how small, feels like a victory.
  • Absence of all porn brainwashing. Porn addiction requires brainwashing the host in various ways. The free person doesn't have this brainwashing. This deserves its own article.
Assuming this mindset is one of the most important instructions to be followed, and it is not optional.
 
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