The Personal Responsibility thread

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by WatchMeRise, Sep 22, 2017.

  1. WatchMeRise

    WatchMeRise Fapstronaut

    I've been subscribed to NoFap for quite a long time and by now I've read countless thread titles and posts along the following lines:
    • Society glorifies porn;
    • The media glorify porn;
    • The government/the Illuminati/ corporations want us to become porn addicts to keep us enslaved;
    • Everyone told me that masturbation is healthy and that's why I became a porn addict;
    • I was abused as a kid and that's why I became a porn addict;
    • I was turned down by my crush and that's why I became a porn addict;
    • Pornstars are exploitative and want us to worship them;
    • Pornstars are exploited and producers want us to worship them
    and countless variations on the same topics.

    While all of these claims might have something to them, the truth is that none of them is the cause of our addiction, for if they were, nearly everybody in this world would have become addicted to porn by now.

    It was in light of these considerations that I've created this thread: its purpose is to collect personal responsibility acknowledgments for situations and events in your life, so that you're more mindful of the role you play in your successes and failures.

    Write down what's happened to you and how you influenced the outcome, for good or bad. It doesn't have to be related to porn addiction; it could be anything.

    E.g. My mother told me off because I never tidy up my room, and I always tell her that I don't have the time to do it. However, today I spent 3 hours playing videogames. I could have played one hour and then spent the remaining 2 hours tidying up.

    Taking responsibility is the first step to empowerment.

    Millenial and VitoMisto like this.
  2. Karimtolstoi

    Karimtolstoi Fapstronaut

    Well it happened to me to see porn when I had moments of stress or sadness. I am responsible because I took it as pretexts.
  3. VitoMisto

    VitoMisto Fapstronaut

    Well put!

    I'm an addict, but I reject the disease model of addiction. I am not powerless over it.

    Nobody made me watch porn. I chose to. First I consumed it, then I was consumed by it. I got myself into this mess, now I have to get myself out.
  4. I think you might be misunderstanding the point behind calling it a disease. Saying you have a disease isn't suppose to be an excuse to not accept personal responsibility for your actions. It's there to acknowledge the severity of the condition you're in, so when you do choose to get healthy you can exercise a level of patience towards yourself. Like it or not, your will power has been severely impacted by your habit. You're not just dealing with a willpower issue but a willpower and chemical imbalance issue. None of this, however, takes away your personal responsibility to seek help and to be healthy.
  5. WatchMeRise

    WatchMeRise Fapstronaut

    I'm having a job interview on Monday. It will be a good exercise for personal responsibility, whatever the outcome.
  6. About porn, and in the hope that I might have a moment of self-diclosure and who knows, epiphany, here:

    My habit goes way back, and if I had the tendency to blame things on the media and even go into illuminati theories, I believe I could, and subconsciously I even might. Let me explained. The first time I masturbated was in my bed, in order to simulate the mechanics of sex as I had recently learned them and experience the sensation. I must have been 11.

    However, my first time masturbating to a stimulus(which can be defined as the essence of porn addiction) was essentially aroused by a watching a Beyoncé video home alone. Now, in the spirit of this thread, I will not go into conspiracy theory at all, as I agree with OP that it is futile. I had already learned "how" to be horny, and that is really the gist of it. I basically felt the same way an ape would feel if a female baboon in heat were presenting herself to him, and the fact that I am weak to such stimulus is a flaw in design, it is definitely not her fault and blaming her would be handing all power to her and eventually coming to the point of resenting all women who are attractive for being so, and all people who are sucessful for exploiting the weaknesses that people do not observe or care to work on. It is not so weird, unnatural and perverse that these people might desire the freedom that money does bring. If we do not wish to finance them we have the chance to do so.

    Now, what was my responsibility then? It's hard to say, at such a young age, but perhaps allowing myself the space for such need and habit of entertainment is by itself an unfitting thing. Was there really nothing better I could be doing with my time than watching MTV? I was not dumb, I knew it was shit.

    I had the habit of leaving the Television on on MTV for company. Should I not be facing my solitude? Should I now not be facing my solitude, rather than feeling the emptyness with the internet? Even then I knew I basically watched those videos as a Psub (i didn't know what a psub was, but I mean that I knew I didn't care about the music and only watched these videos to get off. i couldn't expect that course of action to end positively.)

    I don't know.

    Anyhow, great thread!
  7. WatchMeRise

    WatchMeRise Fapstronaut

    Thank you all for your answers.
    My aim is to make this a quality thread and I've already seen that we're off to a good start.

    To @AscendingBorborite: I would be a bit wary of being too hard on oneself, especially when we're talking about our early teen years. There is a reason why people under the age of 18 are called minors and that is, they are not completely capable of envisioning the consequences of their actions.
    As long as you understand now what you did wrong back then, you're good to go.
  8. Hehe, I know. Stil it was a good moment of reflection!

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