The porn monster is getting hungry...

[A8X]

I am a few days away from a 30 day no-pmo (hard mode) streak. The first 3 weeks went smooth, i felt quite blissful in fact. But on the 4th week, it started to itch. As i am sitting behind my computer during evenings, my left hand tries to touch myself. The pictures on the screen becomes more triggering. I am not talking about anything remotely explicit, a thumbnail on a youtube video of a decent looking woman instantly catches my attention. I can almost hear the porn monster whispering into my ear: "More, More... MORE!!"

However, i intend to keep the streak going. I have good tools to counter these urges. I know that i won't be enjoying a relapse, i will feel an intense rush for a short moment but then comes the anxiety, a sense of failure. Another proof that i am enslaved and might just as well keep drowning my emotions with more porn. The monster is trying to fool me into thinking that i will enjoy a relapse. That it will bring me satisfaction, relaxation and joy. "Come on, don't miss out on the fun! What could possible be more enjoyable in this universe than having an orgasm while looking at a hot naked woman?" ...

I am not buying it. I know that non-addicts does not have any needs to visit the online harem. They don't need it to relax, concentrate or sleep at night. They also don't suffer from withdrawal pangs, the urges, the cravings. Only addicts do. And i don't want to prolong that misery. I am making my escape. I wish i could have a timeline when the withdrawal pangs will end and my brain restores itself. I know that for me, it takes a lot more than 30 days. I had these streaks many times before. I even had several 90-day streaks. After feeding the porn monster during a big portion of my life, it has grown morbidly obese. It can take quite a fast. But eventually it will starve to death. I am looking forward to it. The withdrawal pangs are a sign that my brain is healing. I should not curse them but be grateful for experiencing them.

I am not really sure where i am gong with this post, i just feel that i needed to write it. Exposing the porn monster and all its tricks. It hates that! It wants to remain hidden so that it can exercise power over me. Not this time.

 

[NoBrainer]

Nice metaphor! The full reboot time is considered to be anywhere from 3 to 9 months depending on how fat your porn monster was when you started nofap.

That said, relapses are possible anytime.

Well done, you've made great progress so far! Try to keep the momentum as you're doing.

 

[again]

It wants to remain hidden so that it can exercise power over me. Not this time.

That's the spirit!

 

[A8X]

The full reboot time is considered to be anywhere from 3 to 9 months

I have done some research with the help of AI on how the recovery process looks like after a heavy PMO addiction. Here is the conclusion. I am in for a long ride.

1. Early Improvements (First weeks to 3 months)
What happens in the brain?
DeltaFosB starts to decrease, reducing addiction-related behaviors.
Dopamine receptors slowly begin to recover, increasing sensitivity to natural rewards.
Initial changes in the prefrontal cortex slightly strengthen self-control.

Improvements to expect:
Reduced "brain fog" and better mental clarity.
Improved sleep quality.
Increased energy and motivation, although it may fluctuate.

Common reasons for relapse:
Triggers: Early memory traces from the addiction (cue-response) are still very strong.
Broken routines: Failing to establish new, healthy habits often leads to falling back into old patterns.
Overwhelming cravings: Cravings are often at their strongest during the first weeks, leading to impulsive relapses.


2. Intermediate Phase (4 months to 11 months)
What happens in the brain?
Desensitization in the reward system continues to subside, making natural rewards feel more satisfying.
The prefrontal cortex further strengthens its function, improving the ability to handle triggers and make long-term decisions.
Memory traces related to the addiction begin to weaken but are still active.

Improvements to expect:
Increased feelings of joy and motivation in daily life.
Improved ability to concentrate and tackle long-term goals.
Relationships may start to feel more fulfilling and authentic.

Common reasons for relapse:
Underestimating triggers: Feeling stronger can lead to underestimating certain environments or situations still linked to old behaviors.
Psychological triggers: Loneliness, stress, or emotional imbalance can lead to relapse, especially if healthy coping strategies aren't in place.
False confidence: Believing "I’m cured" can cause a person to relax their precautions.


3. Long-Term Recovery (12 months and beyond)
What happens in the brain?
The reward system has regained much of its original sensitivity.
The prefrontal cortex functions near optimally, providing strong self-control.
Memory traces weaken further but can still be activated by strong or unexpected triggers.

Improvements to expect:
Stability in mood and motivation.
Greater ability to create and maintain deeper relationships.
A stronger and more balanced sense of self-confidence.

Common reasons for relapse:
Deeply ingrained triggers: Even after a long time, certain triggers (e.g., old memories, places, or emotions) can activate cravings.
Major life changes: Stressful or emotionally challenging situations (e.g., loss, relationship problems, work crises) can cause a relapse if coping strategies aren’t strong.
Overconfidence: Feeling immune to the addiction can lead to risky behaviors, such as exposing oneself to potential triggers.


Early phases require: Strict structure and avoiding triggers.
Intermediate phases require: Focus on building new routines and strategies to manage emotions and stress.
Long-term phases require: Staying humble about the risk of relapse and being vigilant about unexpected triggers.

 

[NoBrainer]

I have done some research with the help of AI on how the recovery process looks like after a heavy PMO addiction. Here is the conclusion. I am in for a long ride.

1. Early Improvements (First weeks to 3 months)
What happens in the brain?
DeltaFosB starts to decrease, reducing addiction-related behaviors.
Dopamine receptors slowly begin to recover, increasing sensitivity to natural rewards.
Initial changes in the prefrontal cortex slightly strengthen self-control.

Improvements to expect:
Reduced "brain fog" and better mental clarity.
Improved sleep quality.
Increased energy and motivation, although it may fluctuate.

Common reasons for relapse:
Triggers: Early memory traces from the addiction (cue-response) are still very strong.
Broken routines: Failing to establish new, healthy habits often leads to falling back into old patterns.
Overwhelming cravings: Cravings are often at their strongest during the first weeks, leading to impulsive relapses.


2. Intermediate Phase (4 months to 11 months)
What happens in the brain?
Desensitization in the reward system continues to subside, making natural rewards feel more satisfying.
The prefrontal cortex further strengthens its function, improving the ability to handle triggers and make long-term decisions.
Memory traces related to the addiction begin to weaken but are still active.

Improvements to expect:
Increased feelings of joy and motivation in daily life.
Improved ability to concentrate and tackle long-term goals.
Relationships may start to feel more fulfilling and authentic.

Common reasons for relapse:
Underestimating triggers: Feeling stronger can lead to underestimating certain environments or situations still linked to old behaviors.
Psychological triggers: Loneliness, stress, or emotional imbalance can lead to relapse, especially if healthy coping strategies aren't in place.
False confidence: Believing "I’m cured" can cause a person to relax their precautions.


3. Long-Term Recovery (12 months and beyond)
What happens in the brain?
The reward system has regained much of its original sensitivity.
The prefrontal cortex functions near optimally, providing strong self-control.
Memory traces weaken further but can still be activated by strong or unexpected triggers.

Improvements to expect:
Stability in mood and motivation.
Greater ability to create and maintain deeper relationships.
A stronger and more balanced sense of self-confidence.

Common reasons for relapse:
Deeply ingrained triggers: Even after a long time, certain triggers (e.g., old memories, places, or emotions) can activate cravings.
Major life changes: Stressful or emotionally challenging situations (e.g., loss, relationship problems, work crises) can cause a relapse if coping strategies aren’t strong.
Overconfidence: Feeling immune to the addiction can lead to risky behaviors, such as exposing oneself to potential triggers.


Early phases require: Strict structure and avoiding triggers.
Intermediate phases require: Focus on building new routines and strategies to manage emotions and stress.
Long-term phases require: Staying humble about the risk of relapse and being vigilant about unexpected triggers.

Wow brilliant A8X! This deserves its own post.

 

[MarkTodd]

I am a few days away from a 30 day no-pmo (hard mode) streak. The first 3 weeks went smooth, i felt quite blissful in fact. But on the 4th week, it started to itch. As i am sitting behind my computer during evenings, my left hand tries to touch myself. The pictures on the screen becomes more triggering. I am not talking about anything remotely explicit, a thumbnail on a youtube video of a decent looking woman instantly catches my attention. I can almost hear the porn monster whispering into my ear: "More, More... MORE!!"

However, i intend to keep the streak going. I have good tools to counter these urges. I know that i won't be enjoying a relapse, i will feel an intense rush for a short moment but then comes the anxiety, a sense of failure. Another proof that i am enslaved and might just as well keep drowning my emotions with more porn. The monster is trying to fool me into thinking that i will enjoy a relapse. That it will bring me satisfaction, relaxation and joy. "Come on, don't miss out on the fun! What could possible be more enjoyable in this universe than having an orgasm while looking at a hot naked woman?" ...

I am not buying it. I know that non-addicts does not have any needs to visit the online harem. They don't need it to relax, concentrate or sleep at night. They also don't suffer from withdrawal pangs, the urges, the cravings. Only addicts do. And i don't want to prolong that misery. I am making my escape. I wish i could have a timeline when the withdrawal pangs will end and my brain restores itself. I know that for me, it takes a lot more than 30 days. I had these streaks many times before. I even had several 90-day streaks. After feeding the porn monster during a big portion of my life, it has grown morbidly obese. It can take quite a fast. But eventually it will starve to death. I am looking forward to it. The withdrawal pangs are a sign that my brain is healing. I should not curse them but be grateful for experiencing them.

I am not really sure where i am gong with this post, i just feel that i needed to write it. Exposing the porn monster and all its tricks. It hates that! It wants to remain hidden so that it can exercise power over me. Not this time.

Hey there, I just joined this forum. I started recovery with christian online group exactly 25 days ago, but i'm off porn for a bit over 30. Just like with you first few weeks was really good and it was a record for me this year without any porn. Today tho I felt extremely weak and researched some pictures online with almost going full back to masturbation, I did tho stop last second so to speak because those 30 clean days were better than ever and I want to be cured. That christian online group told me about this forum, so here I am looking for support in time of need, as you do. I hope this benefits both of us, keep posting anytime you need, because I need that as well. You're correct porn monster inside my brain is alive, but we can beat him.

 

[A8X]

A few days later, i can report that i managed to win this particular fight, this time. Creating this thread and expose the monster definitely helped. It did manage to make me do a image search for female celebrities. It was non-explicit content but enough to start waking up a familiar energy - the anticipation of an upcoming mental and sexual reward. The dopamine factory was on stand by, ready to switch into overdrive at any moment. But i quickly closed the browser window. I felt anxiety and regret instantly. I have never felt so horrible about risking going down this path once again. This brief experience increased my motivation tremendously. I am almost afraid of even looking at non-explicit pictures of woman on a computer screen by now.

As a cherry on the cake, i was talking to my gf over the phone recently. She told me that i sounded more clear-headed and emotionally present than usual. This confirms that i am already starting to experience the benefits of being a non-user, even though i am only 30 days clean!

I hope this benefits both of us, keep posting anytime you need, because I need that as well

Thanks, it does, you are welcome to post the ups and downs of your journey as well.

Wow brilliant A8X! This deserves its own post.

Thanks, i was surprised how much useful info i could extract from the AI regarding sex addiction and recovery.

 

[FiguresOfLight]

I have done some research with the help of AI on how the recovery process looks like after a heavy PMO addiction. Here is the conclusion. I am in for a long ride.

1. Early Improvements (First weeks to 3 months)
What happens in the brain?
DeltaFosB starts to decrease, reducing addiction-related behaviors.
Dopamine receptors slowly begin to recover, increasing sensitivity to natural rewards.
Initial changes in the prefrontal cortex slightly strengthen self-control.

Improvements to expect:
Reduced "brain fog" and better mental clarity.
Improved sleep quality.
Increased energy and motivation, although it may fluctuate.

Common reasons for relapse:
Triggers: Early memory traces from the addiction (cue-response) are still very strong.
Broken routines: Failing to establish new, healthy habits often leads to falling back into old patterns.
Overwhelming cravings: Cravings are often at their strongest during the first weeks, leading to impulsive relapses.


2. Intermediate Phase (4 months to 11 months)
What happens in the brain?
Desensitization in the reward system continues to subside, making natural rewards feel more satisfying.
The prefrontal cortex further strengthens its function, improving the ability to handle triggers and make long-term decisions.
Memory traces related to the addiction begin to weaken but are still active.

Improvements to expect:
Increased feelings of joy and motivation in daily life.
Improved ability to concentrate and tackle long-term goals.
Relationships may start to feel more fulfilling and authentic.

Common reasons for relapse:
Underestimating triggers: Feeling stronger can lead to underestimating certain environments or situations still linked to old behaviors.
Psychological triggers: Loneliness, stress, or emotional imbalance can lead to relapse, especially if healthy coping strategies aren't in place.
False confidence: Believing "I’m cured" can cause a person to relax their precautions.


3. Long-Term Recovery (12 months and beyond)
What happens in the brain?
The reward system has regained much of its original sensitivity.
The prefrontal cortex functions near optimally, providing strong self-control.
Memory traces weaken further but can still be activated by strong or unexpected triggers.

Improvements to expect:
Stability in mood and motivation.
Greater ability to create and maintain deeper relationships.
A stronger and more balanced sense of self-confidence.

Common reasons for relapse:
Deeply ingrained triggers: Even after a long time, certain triggers (e.g., old memories, places, or emotions) can activate cravings.
Major life changes: Stressful or emotionally challenging situations (e.g., loss, relationship problems, work crises) can cause a relapse if coping strategies aren’t strong.
Overconfidence: Feeling immune to the addiction can lead to risky behaviors, such as exposing oneself to potential triggers.


Early phases require: Strict structure and avoiding triggers.
Intermediate phases require: Focus on building new routines and strategies to manage emotions and stress.
Long-term phases require: Staying humble about the risk of relapse and being vigilant about unexpected triggers.

This is so informative! I bookmarked it and I agree with what @NoBrainer said, this deserves its own post. Too many people fall into that “90 days and I’ll be fully recovered” trap. I hope 2025 and beyond, we collectively realized and accept that recovery has no limit, it’s a lifestyle.

 

[KLi]

Well done! Keep it going!

 

[MarkTodd]

I am a few days away from a 30 day no-pmo (hard mode) streak. The first 3 weeks went smooth, i felt quite blissful in fact. But on the 4th week, it started to itch. As i am sitting behind my computer during evenings, my left hand tries to touch myself. The pictures on the screen becomes more triggering. I am not talking about anything remotely explicit, a thumbnail on a youtube video of a decent looking woman instantly catches my attention. I can almost hear the porn monster whispering into my ear: "More, More... MORE!!"

However, i intend to keep the streak going. I have good tools to counter these urges. I know that i won't be enjoying a relapse, i will feel an intense rush for a short moment but then comes the anxiety, a sense of failure. Another proof that i am enslaved and might just as well keep drowning my emotions with more porn. The monster is trying to fool me into thinking that i will enjoy a relapse. That it will bring me satisfaction, relaxation and joy. "Come on, don't miss out on the fun! What could possible be more enjoyable in this universe than having an orgasm while looking at a hot naked woman?" ...

I am not buying it. I know that non-addicts does not have any needs to visit the online harem. They don't need it to relax, concentrate or sleep at night. They also don't suffer from withdrawal pangs, the urges, the cravings. Only addicts do. And i don't want to prolong that misery. I am making my escape. I wish i could have a timeline when the withdrawal pangs will end and my brain restores itself. I know that for me, it takes a lot more than 30 days. I had these streaks many times before. I even had several 90-day streaks. After feeding the porn monster during a big portion of my life, it has grown morbidly obese. It can take quite a fast. But eventually it will starve to death. I am looking forward to it. The withdrawal pangs are a sign that my brain is healing. I should not curse them but be grateful for experiencing them.

I am not really sure where i am gong with this post, i just feel that i needed to write it. Exposing the porn monster and all its tricks. It hates that! It wants to remain hidden so that it can exercise power over me. Not this time.

Hey there, I just joined this forum. I started recovery with christian online group exactly 25 days ago, but i'm off porn for a bit over 30. Just like with you first few weeks was really good and it was a record for me this year without any porn. Today tho I felt extremely weak and researched some pictures online with almost going full back to masturbation, I did tho stop last second so to speak because those 30 clean days were better than ever and I want to be cured. That christian online group told me about this firum, so here I am looking for support in time of need, as you do. I hope this benefits both of us, keep posting anytime you need, because I need that as well. You're correct porn monster inside my brain is alive, but we can beat him

A few days later, i can report that i managed to win this particular fight, this time. Creating this thread and expose the monster definitely helped. It did manage to make me do a image search for female celebrities. It was non-explicit content but enough to start waking up a familiar energy - the anticipation of an upcoming mental and sexual reward. The dopamine factory was on stand by, ready to switch into overdrive at any moment. But i quickly closed the browser window. I felt anxiety and regret instantly. I have never felt so horrible about risking going down this path once again. This brief experience increased my motivation tremendously. I am almost afraid of even looking at non-explicit pictures of woman on a computer screen by now.

As a cherry on the cake, i was talking to my gf over the phone recently. She told me that i sounded more clear-headed and emotionally present than usual. This confirms that i am already starting to experience the benefits of being a non-user, even though i am only 30 days clean!


Thanks, it does, you are welcome to post the ups and downs of your journey as well.

Thanks, i was surprised how much useful info i could extract from the AI regarding sex addiction and recovery.

Wow, good job bro, thanks for sharing. Yes, as you said, for me replying to you is bringing the monster into the light in order to kill it(i like that monster analogy). I actually took only a glimps on some pictures, i went into reading porn instead. First time in my life, now that you said on being almost afraid to look into it, I can say honestly I started reading as a substitute of picture because just as you, I don't want to go back there, I don't want this to control me again and with images it's like, ok one more... And you're F*#d before you know. After 30 days clean I can feel with every other one more, how devastating it would be to let center brain to regain the control again. They teach me about getting free from that addiction is to let God be in your life and groups, forums like this as well. God is already in my life, but this forum is my last chance, last barrier. So i'm gonna be here visiting for whoever needs help and helping myself at same time. Cheers.

 

[MarkTodd]

This is so informative! I bookmarked it and I agree with what @NoBrainer said, this deserves its own post. Too many people fall into that “90 days and I’ll be fully recovered” trap. I hope 2025 and beyond, we collectively realized and accept that recovery has no limit, it’s a lifestyle.

That 90 days is the minimum, it takes 2 years for vast majority of us mortals to cut out the addiction for good. 30 year study shows only 5% of addicted could recover super fast.

This is so informative! I bookmarked it and I agree with what @NoBrainer said, this deserves its own post. Too many people fall into that “90 days and I’ll be fully recovered” trap. I hope 2025 and beyond, we collectively realized and accept that recovery has no limit, it’s a lifestyle.

 

[iceteacrush]

I am not really sure where i am gong with this post, i just feel that i needed to write it. Exposing the porn monster and all its tricks. It hates that! It wants to remain hidden so that it can exercise power over me. Not this time.

Creating this thread and expose the monster definitely helped.

Keep on posting, keep on writing!

Love the recovery framework post too!

 

[FiguresOfLight]

That 90 days is the minimum, it takes 2 years for vast majority of us mortals to cut out the addiction for good.

I prefer seeing recovery as lifelong. I’ve been addicted for 11 years, that’s a little over a decade. Me personally, I don’t think I could make a “full recovery” or quit “for good” in just 2 years after being addicted for that long. That’s why seeing recovery as something continuous, has been helpful for me. But hey, if hearing that helps other people in their case, I’m glad to hear it!

 

[A8X]

I was hoping that i didn't had to write in this thread so soon but i need to snitch on the porn monster. Since i firmly refuse to look at porn, it starts resort to sneaky tactics. A professionally made off-road vehicle stunt video popped up on my YT. "Looks cool, why don't i watch it" i thought and clicked on it. On the thumbnail you could see a few bikini girls standing next to the vehicle but i didn't pay much attention to them. As the video progresses, of course these girls were included, even filmed close-up a few moments. The stunts that the driver performed were really awesome, but after the video i could not but ask - did i really wanted to watch that video, or was it the porn monster who spotted potentially triggering content, and made me click on the video in order to expose me to even more triggers, and then hide behind "i was just going to watch a racing video" excuse?

I guess it was a bit of both. I actually feel frustrated that women in the western world are so sexualized. It is almost impossible to use the internet without encountering them. When i was PMOing i noticed none of that since my brain was constantly flooded with sex. I guess this is part of the recovery process. To avoid triggers as best as i can but accept that triggers will happen. As long as i stay firm in achieving my recovery goals of never going back to porn.

 

[iceteacrush]

I actually feel frustrated that women in the western world are so sexualized. It is almost impossible to use the internet without encountering them.

This is true, and not something I'd given much thought to with my recovery and beyond. Basically that it's tough out there.

After a couple weeks I was having very strong feelings toward very tame domestic images advertising products i.e a laundry basket. In one sense it was good, it was a normal woman, the type you might be in a relationship with, doing a normal thing. In many other ways it was bad, it was pixels and not a person, it was earlier in my recovery while my brain was being frantic, it was convincing enough to not be porn, but still potentially fulfill the role of porn.

Ultimately, I'm not too bothered if I see something I like, and I like it. Where I would be bothered is if - I am constantly seeking out these things, trying to get them by the back door, infact if I'm seeking it out at all. For example I wouldn't search for volleyball unless I was interested in the sport, but if it came up on TV. I could appreciate it. Right up until the point where I start to mentally escalate.

 

[A8X]

but still potentially fulfill the role of porn

That was an interesting thing to consider. In early recovery, it feels that the porn is missing. Not just the actual content but the habit of sitting in front of a computer and mindlessly watch stuff that may or may not bring some form of excitement. I had a pretty long streak going last year, but looking back, i sort of replaced the role of porn with something else, a content that was shocking, made my imagination spin and often featured women. It had nothing to do with porn or sex, but i can see now that it was trying to fill the void that porn had left behind.

Thanks for highlighting this aspect. I will be mindful about not trying to replace the role of porn with something else. It will only prolong my recovery.

 

[A8X]

I am 45 days in on this journey. The cravings for porn and the urges to watch it are almost nonexistent. I haven't even thought about porn for the past week. However, the porn monster isn't ready to surrender by any means. I had to clean up my youtube flow by removing all videos that had hot girls on their thumbnails and block all channels that regularly make videos featuring hot girls. There is absolutely nothing on youtube that i need to watch that may prolong my recovery.

My biggest issue right now are triggers. They are not limited to images on a computer screen. When i go out, most of the female population aged from ca 20 to 35 distract me to various degrees, depending on their appearance. What happens exactly?

At first it is curiosity. I just have to know how they look like. Shortly after, anxiety and racing thoughts follow if i perceive them as attractive. My breath become short and shallow. I feel an intense longing for approaching them, talking to them, make them like me, date them, sleep with them etc. But i know i can't. I start to feel very lonely and sad. I start to remember all the frustration i felt when i was single, when i desperately chased women but got nothing. Either no attention at all or a rejection. I could only get close to them in my fantasy. A fantasy that i didn't want to let go of. In the end, i had to resort to watching porn, feeling like a looser that nobody will ever love.

This sequence of thoughts can happen instantly or it can go on for a while in my head until i shake it off. I am hoping that the power of these triggers will be reduced once i acquire a long PMO free streak. But as i am writing this, i realize that this might be a trauma reaction, because of my past experiences that are still affecting me today to some extent. I want to expose the whole thing, just like i did in my other posts. Perhaps this too will lose some power it has over me.

 

[A8X]

Another challenge that i am experiencing is that i am starting to vividly remember various porn that i have previously watched. It can range from my last PMO sessions before this streak, but it can be stuff that i have watched years ago, even decades ago! These memories can popup at any time, when i relax or is busy, with closed or open eyes. Suddenly i can see a hot woman, or a porn scene play out, that i have long forgotten about. When i was constantly PMOing, i did't remember what i have watched after i had my orgasm. It was just a blur in a fog.

I am also starting to see porn images in my dreams during the night from time to time. It never happened while i was PMOing. This is not wet dreams, i don't even feel horny, i just see the images.

Is this common? I hope that this is a sign of my brain healing and the porn monster trying its last hurrah before it starves to death. It is triggering and distracting. It feels like i am firing up my browser, going to these sites and then instantly close them, leaving flashes of porn in my mind.

 

[flapabstainer]

I am also starting to see porn images in my dreams during the night from time to time. It never happened while i was PMOing. This is not wet dreams, i don't even feel horny, i just see the images.

I have also experienced this, it could be because of the porn flashbacks we resist in our waking time and so they find a way to manifest in our consciousness through dreams. It was during a period i had these kind of flashbacks you describe

 

[iceteacrush]

Another challenge that i am experiencing is that i am starting to vividly remember various porn that i have previously watched.

I think it’s normal. At least I had similar. I call it the highlight reel. My brain would just run though every porn and porn type and experienced I had constantly trying to see which one “clicked”. This was the cause of many a relapse for me until I realised what was happening. This time round, I rode it out and it has faded considerably, if not entirely. Sometimes things will pop into my mind but that’s normal for anyone addict or not, we all have thoughts, some of them wild, recognising them for what they are and not feeding into them is the key.