The problem of being obsessed with very beautiful women.

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Get_It, Nov 4, 2019.

  1. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    I wanna discuss this because I feel it's one of the epitome of problematic sexual behaviors.

    There's that Jimmy Soul song that says "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife". It has some of the funniest lyrics.
     
  2. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    My last relationship was with a beautiful woman, and after that experience, I found that it was overrated.
     
  3. Why is that?
     
  4. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    The over emphasis on beauty as a significant factor in pursuing a woman.
     
  5. Ive never had much problem with this. When I was really young, you think looks are everything. But once I started dating it didnt matter to me too much. Ive dated women that range from stunningly beautiful to average. Luckily It was never a big thing to me. I always had very little patience or tolerance for stupidity and immaturity. So, most women didnt last long with me, regardless of their looks. Im now married to the perfect woman for me. Shes def no super model. She a pretty bbw, and i couldnt be happier.
     
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  6. Homelander

    Homelander Fapstronaut

    Well, it totally depends how pretty you are yourself and if there is a balance between you two.
    If your wife is a solid 9 and you are barely a 7 then you will most likely have a very problematic relationship unless you
    can balance your appearance with other qualities, for example money, intelligence, humor, etc.

    I married a very beautiful wife, but in all honesty after a few years I no longer considered my wife to be that beautiful.
    I knew she was good looking, but it became just normal, like having a new phone, new car etc.

    Now I would rather have a slightly less attractive cool girl that I can have a deep profound connection with than a hot wife that's just hot.
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2019
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  7. Cool I Can Use Spaces

    Cool I Can Use Spaces Fapstronaut

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    This is something that I’ve tossed around in my mind. I can’t find a better way to say this but, “I’m upset at myself over my attitude about it all”.

    Meaning that I’ve met many women that were not physically attractive but they had outstanding attitudes. Friendly, warm hearted, and confident. But I just couldn’t see myself being with that woman because there was zero physical attraction.

    Does that make me a scum bag, a brute, cad, and an immature punk? Maybe?

    Maybe I need to mature and have a better attitude about this. But I just can’t see marrying a woman who I’m not physically attracted to as well as intellectually attracted.

    Having said that my range of attractiveness is broad and seems to be expanding as I get older and move away from the PMO lifestyle.
     
  8. Cool I Can Use Spaces

    Cool I Can Use Spaces Fapstronaut

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    I’ve had plutonic friendships over the years with several very beautiful women. After getting to know them I can only think of one and only one where I wish things could have gone further. The others were either hung up on themselves or obsessed with making money. The one woman that was an exception really had a heart for others.
     
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  9. Cool I Can Use Spaces

    Cool I Can Use Spaces Fapstronaut

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    Sure would be nice to have both!

    A heart of gold and looks that would make Venus envious.

    LOL!
     
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  10. Hold it in

    Hold it in Fapstronaut

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    I'm so limited in my options on picking up beautiful women, already branded at work as the nerd plus everybody's married or in their early 20s going club hopping. If I wanted to scrape the bottom of the barrel or pay for an escort I could but I just can't bring myself to do either. I don't believe Church is the appropriate place to pick up chicks because it's where you are suppose to be spiritually fed

    I feel like you have about a good 10 - 15 years to find a partner from the age of 18. Everyone is pretty much taken unless it's someone with issues, drug problems, employment issues, daddy issues, etc. Some people get lucky and find that someone against all odds but I just feel like I will be alone forever

    I would love to fall in love with a beautiful woman. I think if God gave me a superpower it's Rescilliancy. For sure
     
  11. Cool I Can Use Spaces

    Cool I Can Use Spaces Fapstronaut

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    I’ve heard stories about men giving up on trying to find a woman, totally focusing on their life goals, and then end up married years later because they attracted someone that was also on the same track goals-wise.

    I’m just about to “throw in the towel” and go full on life goals. Whether I attract a woman or not is getting less important to me. Searching at my age with almost zero experience with deep relationships is like bashing my head against the wall.

    I’m tired of being frustrated in the search. I do have some great things going on in my life. I don’t need a woman to be happy.

    If it happens, great. If it doesn’t happen, great. It’s all good either way.
     
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  12. laserfish30

    laserfish30 Fapstronaut

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    Me personally, my last relationship was with a very beautiful girl. We both dated for 2 years and I actually never expected it to last that long. While the relationship was fun and all, I struggled with letting my lust get the better of me rather than actually loving this girl. I lead her down a path I deeply regret. And it was all mainly because I was PMOing all the time, before and during the relationship. SO, you definitely have to be careful when finding a girl. You wanna make sure that you are attracted to your girl, but you cant make that the number one attribute about your future girlfriend.
     
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  13. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    Man, I am really fucking pulling for you to get laid now Sir.
     
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  14. Fifth Horseman

    Fifth Horseman Fapstronaut

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    Too many pretty women attract men for the wrong reasons, but it works so it reinforces for them as they get older the need to maintain their appearance. Any guy who is drawn to a girl primarily for her looks is a victim of the same ego that will draw him to another girl later on for the same reason. So you have guys discounting the value of a girl once they have succeeded in having them, and girls wired to try even harder to draw a man on the basis of appearance next time. And the plastic surgeons get rich. Sad cycle. Find a friend- as time goes on, if you click, she will become the most beautiful woman you ever wanted to meet. And BE a friend, or you will never find a friend. The whole pretty/ not pretty classification is stupid. And I say that as a good looking (now older) guy whose looks never restricted who I could be with. Don’t fall for that Incel crap of looking at the world as if it’s a party you are unfairly left out of.
     
  15. Bragi

    Bragi Fapstronaut

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    Attractive people often leave fake impression. They look nice, but are not always nice. They look smart, but sometimes are dumb as shit indeed.
    It's just what you expect. I comunicate with uglier people with a bit bigger interest cause I know there's bigger chance to hear something useful and wise from them.
     
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  16. Protagonist

    Protagonist Fapstronaut

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    Guys tend to flirt with beautiful or I might say hot women more often, so even if you do end in a relationship with a beautiful girl you might see other guys flirting with your girl (unaware for her relationship status).
    I don't know if it is a problem to you, but you know, you can't trust people these days.
     
  17. DerSchütze

    DerSchütze Temporarily Suspended

    I always had a problem with putting pussy on a pedestal, and not feeling good enough for beautiful women, even though plenty had interest in me. It's hard, because they do LOOK good, and I know that doesn't mean much, but my monkey brain can't seem to get over it.
     
  18. FellatiousD

    FellatiousD Temporarily Suspended

    You shouldn't project that experience onto all of your potential future experiences.
     
  19. NamaClature14

    NamaClature14 Fapstronaut

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Buuuut... conditioning from societies standard of beauty that we have seen tens of thousands of hours since birth, in all forms of media, play a huge part in this.
    There is a universal standard of outward beauty, symmetry of facial features is a known preference across all cultures new and old but we owe a large part of our obsession to conditioning. It works, it has worked and it will continue to work on the overwhelming majority of people.. haha it’s quite insane. Someone can be a terrible person who does awful things but if he/she fit societies standard of beauty people will go through hell for this person who deserves none of it. In the end the obsession over physical looks comes from insecurity and neediness imo.
     
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  20. Fifth Horseman

    Fifth Horseman Fapstronaut

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    Paradox is I have known extremely attractive women who would have been better off if they had been a little plainer. Nice people conditioned from childhood by the fact that their attractiveness drew the wrong kind of guy, guys who were ego driven and gratified to be and be seen with them and never really appreciated the person they were, or the person they could be. Just like porn use rewires you and your reward and punishment centers, being rewarded for the wrong attribute rewires certain women to go for the rewards that come with being pretty. But those, like beauty, fade. And as I said above any guy who marries a woman because she is beautiful will eventually dump her, because the male ego, like porn addiction, needs to constantly be fed by the next thing. It’s a lucky man and a lucky woman (or lucky people, lets be politically correct here) who meet and connect and create a family relationship with each other because they love what’s inside, but it’s the only way to have something that endures.
     
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