The problem

so I'm 26 and have had multiple partners but I have never been able to achieve an orgasm or ejaculate. Now I'm currently in a new relationship and same thing. She is unaware that I've never orgasmed because I know that she would take it personal not to mention the already shame I feel.. I've only ejaculated once with a partner and it was oral but that was also my first partner. So a very long time ago. I'd say I've probably masturbated at least once day since 15? Maybe. The only time I ever went without was during 2 months of military boot camp. But back on subject I just got into a relationship and I'm going to stop watching porn completely since I'm so used to fantasies and stop masturbating until I can achieve orgasm vaginaly with my partner. That's all I want is that connection. Despite the multiple sexual partners not being able to orgasm during sex just makes you feel like an outcast and ashamed. Sorry for the long introduction and ramble but that's my goal is to gain that sensitivity and be able to share that connection with the person I care about most.