The Race to 90 - To the victor goes the title

Gym is a good analogy thanks! I'm determined to turn this into a positive. I am going to post every day for a couple of weeks at least (I think the momentum for the streak really takes over after 2 weeks). Need to watch these next 4-5 days for chaser effects too.

 

This rings so true to me! My wife knows I look at porn and MO. We even went through a stage where we acted out some of my fetishes. I won't give any details as it could be triggering but she surprised me with her openness (it's give and take, she has here own fantasies which I had to get on board with). In short while she's not thrilled that I look at porn, I think she sees me as a 'normal bloke' for doing this and doesn't realise there's a problem. I used to abuse her trust by doing things like "going to bed" and spending an hour on my phone, or being in the bathroom for a ridiculous amount of time. When I was looking at porn, NOTHING else mattered. I was Mr Hyde, Jekyll was asleep. I'd ignore responsibilities and get angry if my porn was interrupted. Glad to say I have 99% stopped this - another thing I can take from my streak

I don't know if she'd understand that willpower alone isn't enough. She has here own habits/mini addictions so maybe I'm not giving her enough credit. I could trivialise it and just say that I don't like what porn does to women so I want her to see my internet activity - but I don't think she needs or wants another responsibility!

 

Know what you mean. It's one of those rare types of 'secrets' that make yah feel less guilty rather than more! Great if you can beat it alone (with support of your NoFap friends) but also great that you would rather communicate with your wife than let the problem beat you

 

Day 1. Am going to see how I go for this week before fully defining goals, but leaning to reattempting the same goal as last time but cutting out these triggers. May cut out 'conscious' touching and fantasising too unless it's not 'pornified'

As expected, it's challenging. the temptation to relapse is stronger and the will power is weaker
BUT the temptation to relapse is weaker than the last reset and the willpower is stronger (if that makes sense?!)
I forced myself out early today and got a good day's job hunting done. So far so good.

Onwards and upwards!

 

Day 10 of 90: PARTY! I don't know about you guys but I have to celebrate the small victories because they always add up to the big ones. If you guys will forgive me I want to pat myself on the back a little. I made it through another 24hours. Well today was great until that one moment when I was on the phone with my brother and started comparing my life this his. And I started to feel sorry for myself. I had to cut myself off and tell my brother that I needed to talk about other things. I find that discontent and or loneliness are really big triggers for me. PMO is rarely the real problem for me, it is just me trying to solve my emotional problems with something else. But not today, I had a good day. I got a lot done and I kept to my schedule.

 

I think JR-62 has earned that pat on the back - what do you think @Jefe Rojo?!
You're right the small victories add up to the bigger ones. It's like a football league season - celebrate each win then focus on the next game.
You're of course right on PMO being a way to numb emotional issues. It's like alcohol/drugs/comfort eating etc.
PMO won't address every problem but removing it allows you to get a head start. Don't punish yourself with self harm.
And remember you have the time to change. Compete with yourself, not others. Someone always has it 'better' than you and someone always has it 'worse'. But no one can be you.
It's natural we look at what others have with a degree of envy. It's healthy to a degree as it can inspire us towards better thing - if they can do it I can do it. But life isn't fair to any of us (whether it be our demons, upbringing or simple genetics). So we can at least even up the scales a little by looking after ourselves

 

Thanks Andy, it was nice to read you message. And thanks for the pat on the back. It’s nice to have people like yourself to talk to daily.

 

Thank you for the message. It feels good to make it this far.

 

Day11 of 90: Another 24 hours. Today was a good day. I know that my dreams were a bit P in nature again but other then that things are looking good. I have to tell you guys that overcoming PMO is part of a big shift of changes that my life coach and I have been working on. I am slowly building some great life momentum and I am loving it! It has all been really small changes, 1. I started being life coached 2. I started working out 3. I stared dating again 4. I am working on PMO. It has all been a life changing experience for the last three months. I tell you guys this, not as a barge but as an invitation to consider getting a life coach or mentor who can help you change so inner and outer things. Food for thought,

 

Definitely will consider. Personal improvement is a huge thing for me, I don't have a life coach but I suppose I use (or have used) other tools e.g. career mentor, 1-1 cognitive behaviour therapy, reading
Do you read/view any motivational speakers? I find it's a case of finding the ones who seem to speak to you

 

Day 2 was good. I'm not getting carried away, the thoughts of doing it again are still there, but I remind myself of why I'm doing this. The good that can come of this reset will only happen if I don't derail it
Being busy of course helps (I was out with my son most of the day, and desperately getting other errands done during his nap!).

I feel like I'm dealing better with this s reset than in the past - I don't feel as depressed or hopeless. I'm also drinking less, eating a bit better, sleeping better, getting a bit more exercise and routine....it all helps

On with day 3!...

 

Day 12 of 90: It is late but I had to post. Good day, there was a moment our two when I found my self fantasizing but I redirect my thoughts with some help form God through prayer.

 

Day 13 of 90: I have made it through another 24 hrs and feels good. But today I have been struggling I have been feeling frustrated at other people, lonely, and not looking forward to going to work. Needless to say it has been a struggle as my thoughts have been triggering it PMO to try to balance my emotions out. I need some recommendations on how to handle these triggers and emotions. Dang it is nice to have a place to share these things!

 

Well done JR-62. What tools are you using to deal with the emotions already?

 

I would like to join the challenge
My goal is PMO free for 90 days...
My day counter started 5 days ago.. so do i begin on day 5?
5/90?