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The reason why you are addicted to "sissy-porn"

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Syx19, Feb 17, 2018.

  1. Canneyze

    Canneyze New Fapstronaut

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    Hi I have exactly the same stuff as you but on top of that I have delusions about "BBC porn", I don't know if you know but to make it short, it's porn where blacks are put forward, I watched a whole lot of video on this delirium there and I am completely addicted. I feel like this is what turns me on the most, I cum very quickly on this delusional BBC, and I really don't understand why ...
     
  2. QuiggyG

    QuiggyG Fapstronaut

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    Whilst I agree with what you said, to still have this affliction of having thoughts of sissy P after 200 days seems alien to me. In my recovery process anyway. I went hard mode recently for 30+ days, relapsed again and again to straight P but I’ve noticed that the longer I abstain from any P, trans stuff becomes less appealing. Heck, I recently tried to watch a video. It grossed me out and i can’t believe I was hooked for months/years watching the crap. I’m still battling straight P but every small victory counts.


    I wholeheartedly agree it has to do with self esteem and mentality. A key here would be to change those elements into something positive to help yourself not think of sissy P. It was definitely a coping mechanism for me; easy access to sexual stimuli, trans women are generally more submissive on camera than cis women, the mental incapacitation of ruminations and OCD thoughts, and the “alien” or “taboo” affect of it all was the perfect recipe to get hooked.

    tbh, I just watched a trans P video and it does not trigger me that much but I know I there is a playing field here where I could revert back to it. Best way is to rediscover some old or new hobbies, avoid ALL P and start focusing on your life priorities.
     
    Chris_Cactusblossom, brazy and Roady like this.
  3. Hi well i also had all this sissy thougths until i was over 200 days its a hard process but i really didnt watch any porn or masturbated for 1.5 years or so and after that straigth porn was already enough to turn me on hardcore it felt like the first time again you know and as i started masturbating and watching porn more heavily over the last 2 years again im pretty much at the same point again where i started because normal porn just gets boring over time if youre so addicted to porn i also got into vr stuff now that worked for months but even that gets boring at some point because there are not that many positions you can film in a pov shot and i got onto really strange vr porn sites with weird fetishes and now im also back to this sissy bullshit
     
  4. Well i had and now have this fetishes too i cant tell you why you have this bbc fetish to me often the contrast of white to dark skin looks very hot i think it all comes down to us just being bored of normal porn because we watched it so often so we search for other more exciting stuff weirder stuff i mean i really watchef pretty much anything even much grosser stuff just to get turned on and after i jerk off i just felt disgusted and ashamed of myself only to want to do the same thing 20 minutes later ...
     
  5. twistedporn

    twistedporn Fapstronaut

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    broo honestly, you're the champ of sharing your thoughts and stories! I am also one of the many who fell into this trap. After managing long terms streaks you can start to see the reasons. I think you have done that and that is massive! You are helping me in knowing I am not alone, thank you and I wish you all the best! My inbox is open for you, always
     
    Syx19 likes this.
  6. PanteriMauzer

    PanteriMauzer Fapstronaut

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    Never had that problem, never being a sissy never addicted to sissy porn
     
  7. Hi thank you for the nice words stuff like this makes me very happy also seeing the new likes i get when new people find this thread because it helps them

    And yes the long streak definetly helped me but i also get more aware about my psychological problems because i get older i mean i started this at age 17 and now im 21 so yeah but trough the lobg streak i also got sexual frustration since i had no orgasm in such a long time and that maybe was one of the reasons i got depressed in the first place
     
  8. twistedporn

    twistedporn Fapstronaut

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    well it is journy. You will come across many hard times and better times. Overtime things just makes more sense. If you keep up with not exposing to much porn overtime it gets better
     
    Cassiel Addams likes this.
  9. only way to end this is actually having no sense of need to any porn , or watching it ,
    this may came from having a normal sex life with a partner or having physical activity during the day,
    sexual force is `life force` you can misuse or abuse it using excessive sexual expression or simply wasting it .
    or
    you can transmute this energy and use it in a very constructive activities in everyday life,
     
    Syx19 likes this.
  10. twistedporn

    twistedporn Fapstronaut

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    fully agree. Now have work and during work I can't basically fap. Weekends are still hard for me. That is when I am tired and nothing much to do, specially during corona
     
    Cassiel Addams likes this.
  11. Hi man im glad this thread helps you its crazy i posted this years ago but 3-4 times a year someone like you still adds something to it actually makes me very happy

    This type of porn is duch a hard one to beat a couple months ago i felt like i delted it our of my life and all over sudden i relapsed harder then ever but rigth now i again think and hope it will never happen again

    I really tried to take something positive from this relapse and keep it as a reminder to how much i hate it and i should leave it for good

    For me rigth now i can say what helped me and i hope this doesnt triggerd you was that in this relapse i bougth a fuckingmachine and thougth eell i tried everything maybe this will be like the wow this porn is my life and not feeling shit after an orgasm thing and like everything else before ii just didnt feel rigth its just not me its a fantasy and im sick of it we can either try to stay in it and feel bad or just accept that its not our reality just like any other porn

    But for you this may be diffrent i mean i always liked the fantasie but i probably could never have sex with a men so yeah did you enjoy the gloryhole stuff or was it also like a wtf did i do moment afterwards ?
     
  12. Okay well i just wanna ask you since im a bit confused are you trying nofap rigth now for the first time or did you already try to get rid of your porn addiction

    Your story kinda remind me of my own just witouth the gloryholes i think you just really get the porn addicton in control meaning not watching porn and not masturbating for a long time for me it took me like 200 days which doesnt mean its the same for you

    I myself rigth now have a diffrent aproche i masturbate a few times a week but dont watch porn but idk if you can pull it off when youre still in such a deep addiction because it never worked for me back then but i mean you can try it cause its easier since youre less horny or you can just have sex with your girl thats something i never had so yeah
     
  13. 1ANDDONE

    1ANDDONE Fapstronaut

    @Syx19

    This thread popped up today. It is an oldy but goody. I am not specifically responding to you personally, but dropping some insight on this, one of humanity's many self created problems.

    So, no one is actually addicted to "porn". We call it porn addiction, the same we use phrases like drug addiction or alcohol addiction or gambling addiction, but it is important to know that these things are just the tools we use to get the high we are addicted to. The high, by the way, is totally, 100%, in the head, in the brain, between the ears, way above the belt. The high is a high we can naturally get, without porn, and though more complicated than this, can simply be called a dopamine high. Dopamine is an absolutely great and necessary neurotransmitter in the brain. It does a lot of things, but motivating the search for sex and food, and rewarding getting sex and food, are the two big dopamine functions in humans. It has worked well to promote the two biggest survival traits in humans, or in any other species: survival of the individual, promulgation of the species through reproduction. So, thinking of sex is rewarded, meaning we likey, thinking of sex leads to searching for sex, meaning we likey, searching for sex leads to having sex, meaning we likey, having sex leads to reproduction, and nature likey, because nature wants all species to be successful and the biggest part of being successful as a species is making more of that species.

    Porn, like all other addictive activities, is an invented addiction. We invented porn, we invented drugs, we invented alcohol; these things do not occur naturally or spontaneously, we invented them, we being humanity. So, know no one is addicted to porn, they are addicted to the reward neurotransmitter we can turn on using it, because there is probably nothing as efficient as porn to trigger a sexual thought, and sexual thoughts are rewarded with a dopamine high.

    The "sissy" porn aspect needs to be understood in these terms as well. Just like no one is actually addicted to porn, no one is addicted to sissy porn. May look like it, may feel like it, but, no, for all so called porn addicts, they are addicted to the reward neurotransmitter, which actually rewards sexual thoughts as a way of motivating people to seek, wait for it...actual sex.

    When people arrive at porn genres they do not recognize themselves in, it is almost inevitably due to escalation to that genre from a prior genre that was not so shocking to them. So, if you are a porn addict, you usually start with vanilla porn, stuff you see as your own sexuality, but, over time, if you are addicted enough, you desensitize to the vanilla porn. It is like if you were on a dessert island and there was one pretty standard porn video. You might really find it interesting (get a dopamine high from it) for the first 30 days, but, eventually, the brain wants something different to give you that high, and in porn addiction, that, more often than not, means escalating to a genre that is shocking, often involving some aspect of violence or humiliation. That is why a lot of people start out at vanilla porn, move on to hardcore, move on to VERY hardcore, move on to porn involving violence or control, and some jump the tracks to porn that not even with the sex they find themselves attracted to in reality. It is also why no one is addicted to just one porn depiction. One porn depicton may work early on, but after time, the viewer desensitizes to it, gets bored with it. Searching for never-before experienced porn, as with sex, also result in a dopamine reward, whether we like or want it, or not. The brain numbs over time, and in order to get the same high as we did initially, we have to move through the categories, into, for some, quite alien categories, to achieve the same high as we initially got with what we started with.

    It is always important to understand this situation is a brain problem, not a sex problem, though the brain problem can cause problems with sex, such as porn induced erectile dysfunction. It is helpful to think of porn as a tool to achieve a neurological response, but also to be aware that it is the neurological response that is addictive, that we are addicted to; not porn, and not any type of genre of porn.

    For anyone wanting a better grasp of these concepts, Gary Wilson's Your Brain on Porn is a great place to start exploring, as is his "the Great Porn Experiment," which link is below. From an evolutionary standpoint the invention of porn is pretty interesting because, obviously, before the invention of High Speed Internet Porn, we had no one identifying as a porn addict, whereas after its invention, a few million do, or if they do not, are actually addicted and just have not admitted it. That was where I was before I found Gary Wilson, because only when I found him could I understand that this addiction was even possible, and real.

    Hope this helps.

    WilliamOneAndDone.

    PS: This video changed my life and the life of countless others. It is very important to understand what you are fighting, and it is not porn itself, per se, but rather the use of porn to achieve a well documented neurological result, a dopamine high, that translates to a euphoric and pleasant feelings.

    (1) The great porn experiment | Gary Wilson | TEDxGlasgow - YouTube

    youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

    You can find it on youtube.
     
  14. Wolfthunder

    Wolfthunder New Fapstronaut

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    I have had this paraphilia for a few years, among others caused by porn. I agree with what was mentioned above that this addiction is caused by low self-esteem and lack of a girlfriend.

    I'm also struck by how malicious and racist (towards white men) this porn is and all of it in general. If I were in political office, for me, a forceful measure to heal the population would be to persecute all the garbage of people who invent this, they would probably be in the CIA and people related to Hollywood.

    The addiction to this and all porn sucks and those who produce it are the worst people and they are always creating subversive things to hurt us. You have to seek psychological treatment and harden like Spartans, like Vikings or gladiators and have the impulse control of the best azetas. The peoples of men from other places (even without so much neoliberalism and moral decadence) will not forgive weakness and will destroy us if they see us as weak.

    We can't allow it!
     
  15. Steven12191

    Steven12191 Fapstronaut

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    Since I’ve found you guys I’ve honestly been starting to be a lot better at managing my feelings. I had read one of the previous replies about how it can be an escape from anxiety and caused by deeper feelings of feeling unwanted. That really resonated with me. Whenever I’m anxious about relationship problems or my work I’d begin to go down this rabbit hole. Before I had help from you guys I really didn’t know It but whenever I’d have the urge to watch porn or anything I’d sit and think about how I felt and every time I would have this big knot in my stomach of anxiety that I couldn’t even notice because I would usually just distract myself from it with porn. Honestly I might’ve been doing that for most of my life and it explains a lot of my problems. I’ve been mostly NoFap other then one or two slip up’s these last couple weeks. My sex life has been healthier, I’m more comfortable talking to my girlfriend about my problems too now which has helped but it’s still so hard to bring up the small issues that trigger my anxiety. Here’s to getting better
     
    stepitup, new socks and Syx19 like this.
  16. Great observation!

    I've reached the same conclusion, but it's little different.

    I think guys who are too nice would watch sissy porn. I'm one of those guys.

    What constitutes being too nice?
    What constitutes being too nice is not wanting to make people feel sad or angry.

    What to do here? If your best didn't resolve the issue they have, then wish them the best then move on. I mean none of us good everything we wanted (and thank God for that; we would be spoiled).

    If someone who you tried to help didn't get the help they need, then it can be one of two reasons: it's either their fault or God willed it (Why God willed it? Only God knows).
     
  17. Well youre probably rigth even if i dont like the term of being to nice its more the fear of not being liked, to end up alone and the lack of confidence or self esteem

    I had huge problems with this in the past but i really try now to speak my mind and dont hold back my opinions and i still have all my friends and dont beef with anyone
     
    PhastOne likes this.
  18. Steven12191

    Steven12191 Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone, so I’ve been relapsing on my porn addiction and getting more and more anxious about the upcoming week. My girlfriend is leaving on vacation for a week and with my porn addiction getting stronger I keep worrying if I won’t be able to hold myself from going to a gh, I don’t want to but the thought of it keeps coming back into my head and I can’t stop fantasizing about it. What do i do
     
    stepitup likes this.
  19. Well i know this feeling since i never lived alone i always get this hard thougths of relapsing when i know i will be alone for a few days

    What helped me the most with nofap in general is just to remind yourself why you dont want to do this things i mean there is a reason why you said to yourself i need to stop this

    I myself also have thougths about just watching porn again but is it really worth having fun for 30 minutes just to feel bad for days afterwards ?

    You could also if you relapse again write down how you feel afterwards like a letter to your future self to remind yourself that its not worth it

    And dont beat yourself down even if you relapse because to be honest it probably will happen at some point i relapsed 100 times before i got to this point now i recently heard this nice podcast where a heroin addict talked about his way to recovery and the way they aproche it i really liked

    He said they didnt set the goal to never ever take heroin again in their life because that goal is huge you feel like its to big to handle and crush under the pressure so the better way if your really struggeling rigth now is just to say 1 more day i can do 1 more day witouth doing it again that really helped me
     
  20. Steven12191

    Steven12191 Fapstronaut

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    You know, I’m out camping with friends and trying to have a good time and all. Meanwhile im still anxious and can’t stop thinking about porn. I just wanna be free from this crap. I just keep doing the same thing over and over to relapse and I keep believing my own lies I tell myself to convince myself to watch porn. Im scared of this, i just wanna be normal and not have to feel like this constantly. Sometimes I just wish I was gay becuase that’d be an easier way to live. I want to be able to think straight, not have such deep anxiety and self hate that then just goes and further fuels the addiction. I just got home and am finishing up this draft now. I didn’t relapse this weekend but man the will yo was so strong. I’m super anxious now that my girl is gone. Idk how to manage. I’m scared that if I keep trying to full comit to NoFap it’ll just make the relapse worse and I’ll do something bad, or trying to manage it is just a fools errand that’ll lead me to doing relapsing my gh addiction anyway. When I start thinking about it my whole world starts spinning and I get physically dizzy and sick, but it’s all I can keep thinking about. I know this forum isn’t a replacement for the therapy I probably desperately need but I can’t afford it and just get so confused about this because it’s such an embarrassing and demasculating situation
     

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