The reason why you are addicted to "sissy-porn"

I appreciate your honesty.

 

Do you feel controlled? Do you feel unable to do anything?

 

By almost everything in my life. I’m trapped in my work, Everything I do in my life is starting to feel pointless. I just want to be wanted. 20 years of porn just filled my head with exactly what I could desire sexually. So when I’m frustrated I probably just revert right to that and think that I’ll be wanted as soon as I cave in and become what I think I want. The thing is I know I’d be wanted if I caved, and god dressing up and going to a book store, I could get fucked for hours non stop. Right as I was typing my brain started to go numb and I fell into the same mental trap that gets me every time. I just don’t understand how my head can get so fogged up and all my judgment automatically goes right out the window. I can go from understanding my problem and knowing exactly how and why I want what I want, to just feeling completely lost, embarrassed, helpless and defeated. I’m actively denying myself the greatest feeling whole body experience of all time, and it all just starts feeling pointless after a while I guess. I just kinda forget the reasons I don’t want to. My brain is so hardwired to this shit.

 

Lmao already relapsing

Spoiler: Triggering

all I can think about it putting on my girlfriends clothes and going to a bookstore and getting a train ran on me. I’m so fucking hungry. I won’t and am in no position to do that for multiple reasons but god I want it. I miss throating big cocks and having lines of men waiting blow their loads in my mouth

 

I’m definitely not gay, I fully tried being with men in “normal” ways and was always very uncomfortable by it and could never really get into it. Anxiety towards women and kinda specially my girlfriend definitely plays a part. I’ve been watching this kinda porn on and off for probably years now. I never really got addicted to it like I am now until I went out and tried a gh and then it completely started being able to control my mind. I started becoming more and more insecure about myself.

 

It’s all about beating my anxiety and insecurity. I end up becoming anxious and feeling incredibly insecure because of my addiction and it makes me bottle up all my feeling over time. My jobs also super stressful and honestly probably exposes me to waaay more triggers. My girlfriend is getting back tomorrow too which is nice! I was kinda anxious about relapsing my gh addiction while she was gone but honestly didn’t have any trouble.

 

So I’m a ex-sissy porn addict and one thing that I wanna say is this shit is the worst thing that you can be addicted to. One thing that helped me is knowing that addiction to this type of porn is caused by some childhood trauma/low self esteem etc. If someone is fighting this shit, I recommend to take some time during the day to contemplate about some bad situations from past, some weird emotions that are in your head frequently. Connect the dots and there will be the answer.

 

My friend Steven,
Try to stay sober for two weeks.I was stuck in this loop for months. Try living with a roommate and make sure you go out with him as many times as you could. If someone can hear you fap, you won't fap.

 

Check this out https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...uld-save-your-life.336460/page-3#post-3426787

 

Still clean since Wednesday, honestly I’m feeling a lot better in life as a whole and am trying really hard to communicate when I’m anxious or insecure to my girlfriend. I definitely got this. I put in an application for a new job to try and get away from the stressful work I have now. And I’m just generally trying to keep myself more accountable so I can stop feeling so helpless, cleaning up my room, eating better, spending less time on my phone. Just trying to live healthier and not feeling gross make it easier to resist this stuff.

I definitely had some childhood trauma and stuff like that and the older I get the more I can put a lot of my developmental problems into context and it all slowly makes more sense. My goal for now is 2 weeks NoFap, currently on day 5.

 

I went on this forum this morning because I felt like I was feeling anxiety about the upcoming work week. After I posted I stuck around reading other posts and ended up reading one about a dude who pretty much started being a trans escort and making hella money and I jerked off to that post. I literally just said “I definitely got this” not even 45 minutes ago ☠️

 

It's a very hard issue to fix, even through avoiding porn or getting rid of the porn addiction.

From my personal experience, even when I go 30/40 days without masturbating or porn, all I can think about is wearing lingerie, heels and wanting to ride a dildo. For me it's got to a point where my body has associated pleasure with having sex as if I was a girl. When I start feeding those thoughts further, I then want to have sex with multiple men and worship their dicks and let them do whatever to me. What makes it worse is how intense anal is, I've become addicted to anal pleasure and the waves of pleasure it sends through your body.

If I see a sexy woman walking down the street with her legs out in a pair of heels, although I love how her body looks, all I can think of is I want to be in those heels.

But like Steven, I'm definitely not "gay" in the sense of the word, I don't find men attractive, I would never want to be in a relationship with a man. But the idea of a guy or several guys pounding me and blowing their loads in my mouth whilst I'm dressed in a naughty outfit turns me on so much, even to the point where after I have a penile orgasm, whilst I feel disgusted within that particular moment, within 15-20 mins I'm ready to be a sissy again.

I haven't done anything with a man so far, and I'm trying my hardest to make sure I don't, but boy this is one of the hardest things to battle and it's not as simple as avoiding porn.

 

I find myself struggling with this shit too. I’ve done multiple streaks with nofap and found that the longer stretches I have ceased to have desire for sissy stuff. I also happen to know I’m straight.

I recently met a woman that turned me on so much (mentally, emotionally and physically). But because of this addiction I could only get half hard and I was absolutely gutted.

out of general interest, do you guys find that when you are stressed that’s when you relapse?