The reason why you are addicted to "sissy-porn"

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Syx19, Feb 17, 2018.

  1. Steven12191

    Steven12191 Fapstronaut

    23
    12
    3
    Well I decided to talk to my girlfriend about it again before I get to the point of going through with any of this and cheating on her. I told her how bad my cravings get and how horrible I feel about all of it. That helped but honestly I might take up vaping instead to try and sub one addiction for the other. We went out last night to buy her a new vape after she quit for a couple months, I always stayed away from nic and smoking becuase my dad warned me about how nasty of an addiction it is and how hard it is to stop, and I can clearly see that in every single friend i have that vapes the second they don’t have their vape. I took a rip off it on the drive home and was shocked just how close of a high it gave me compared to my other addiction. I felt alright after I hit her vape. I hate the idea of getting hooked on vaping but honestly if I can substitute my addiction to glory holes with a flavored air stick, maybe vaping isn’t so bad. I don't wanna loose her and I cant even begin to imagine how many of my personal problems in this relationship are caused by me being in a constant state of fighting the thoughts of cheating on her and holding back the version of me that comes out when I relapse.
     
  2. I honestly really struggle to find out what i should reply to you i wanna give you advice or help you but i dont think i have the answers

    I think starting to smoke wont help you in the long run it migth help you now to deal with your porn adiction but once you get used to it the effect will probably not be as big as it is now and then you just have another bad addiction that costs a lot of money and potentialy could kill you

    I also tried to cope with my problems by using drugs and it never helped it only made things worse

    The thing is i talked to so many guys about this addiction but i never met anyone who actually had sex with men and also im kinda confused because you they way you talk about it doesnt make me feel like you didnt enjoy it

    I mean is this just because youre horny or why is that like how did you feel rigth after it because i always hated everything about it rigth after i orgasmed i was sitting infront of my screen like why the fuck did i do this again thats not me this is disgusting but then 5 minutes later i switched back to the mindset i had before i orgasmed
     
  3. BoboFett

    BoboFett Fapstronaut

    wow, I haven't read the whole thread, just the first post. Sissy stuff sounds real fucked up. Like, as I understand it - sissy means that you want to be a girl?, So yea thats kind of gay and I never had those thoughts, The closest thing I got to it was like trans porn, but I only wanked to that cause I liked the fact that trans girls had smaller butts but when I discovered that trans meant they actually have a dick aswell I just looked for porn of girls with small butts instead, but yea.
     
  4. Steven12191

    Steven12191 Fapstronaut

    23
    12
    3
    It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it, masturbation is still enjoyable and very “fun” until you realize what you did and all of a sudden it’s not very fun and you’re left shaking and cold feeling completely hollow and empty. Everything with this addiction is so confusing. Everything i think is brought into such extreme scrutiny. I don’t feel like any decision I make is the right one, even opening this forum feels like the wrong choice. Having a girlfriend also makes me even more confused. Am I addicted to this porn because she doesn’t make me feel fulfilled? Am I addicted because I’m not sexually satisfied with her? Is it maybe all her fault? Is it mine? Should I talk to her about it more? Or am I just going to freak her out eventually and never be able to genuinely communicate again with her because she’ll be scared of me. Does she not like me because she doesn’t see me as a man and I can’t satisfy her in bed? There’s literally a million questions running though my head constantly and it scares me. I just find myself comparing what my current situation is to an easy fantasy of having a boyfriend to want sex from me all the time because she doesn’t really seem to. Also after trying that shit for one day I got suuuuper nic sick, threw up like 4 times and pretty much decided that that was a super stupid idea and definitely not something I should consider. vaping is more gay then sucking dick on second thought.
     
  5. Steven12191

    Steven12191 Fapstronaut

    23
    12
    3
    It’s this whole genre of hypnosis videos that are made to fucking program your brain as hard as possible. It’s like those YouTube kids videos with all the bright flashing colors made to wire their brains to the screen but made for insecure men instead. You watch it for a little and your brain gets hooked on the dopamine, but there’s this deep shame that it also gives you with it. you’re watching this porn that’s telling you that you’re weak, incompetent, pathetic and not a man. The way they play it hooks your subconscious to it and then you start feeling like less and less of a man. It destroys any and all of the confidence you might have and reinforces it with bullshit about how you should be a woman and how much easier it is. Trying to beat it is like trying to overcome a heroin addiction.
     
  6. BoboFett

    BoboFett Fapstronaut

    Woaw man, you shouldnt ask a girl to give you road head only the wrong type would do that. Plus it can lead to an accident. Most girls with good sense would probably feel some kind of disrespect if you did that. And thats probably the biggest issue I see in what you said.
     
  7. BoboFett

    BoboFett Fapstronaut

    I saw hypnosis porn videos, like where its in POV and the girl hypnotises you and does kinky stuff to you. Even some videos where she would say and do bad things to you. But it never made me feel less of a man or weak - I did it for the kink that the porn would give me. I think its peoples own real life experiences being expressed through Porn. You need to find the root cause of the issue -
     
  8. Steven12191

    Steven12191 Fapstronaut

    23
    12
    3
    She’s done it before and isn’t against it or offended by it. We’ve been dating over a year and I know what I can ask for and what I cant. I don’t even ask for anything anymore, this one a rare time where I wanted to try expressing what I wanted
     
  9. BoboFett

    BoboFett Fapstronaut

    .......k IDK then.
     
  10. Soory man idk why but i nofap didnt send me a notification that you replied i guess i should just log in more often and check myself second time now

    So what i meant was how did you feel after thos gh stuff not the porn itself and i can understand your confusion everybody that gets adicted to this has similar thougth i mean i really thougth a long time that i migth wanna be trans which is super bizar to me now but i also was a kid so ofc i didnt know better

    For all the questions you asked i think only you can answer them and find out what you really want but i think for that you really need to try to get rid of this addiction and get a free mind
     
  11. rangerxz

    rangerxz New Fapstronaut

    4
    14
    13

    Sucks I can relate to this, but it’s true. I never had or used anything to masturbate like sex toys, womens clothes, lingerie, etc. This is what I have been dealing with for MONTHS and it’s so draining. I hate it a lot and I’m trying to stop. It’s very hard though and with this journey and I’m so scared to relapse over and over again. Today for me marks day 1 and I haven’t masturbated. I just want this to end. Thank you for this.
     
    Syx19 likes this.
  12. No problem m8
    The earlier you try to deal with this addiction the better it is i saw on your profile that your age is 16 thats great even one year younger then when i realizied i have a big problem

    Just keep in mind that you probably will relapse as pretty much any addict does at some point but just keep going and dont beat yourself up if it happens and just take it day by day find the roots of your addiction and develop more positive habits instead of watching porn

    And if you ever have some problems or questions you can talk to me
     
  13. rangerxz

    rangerxz New Fapstronaut

    4
    14
    13
    Thank you, it sucks because everyday I’m questioning my sexuality. It also sucks because it makes my depression worse everyday. I like this journey because it feels like it can help my addiction, depression, and anxiety. It’s really draining to go through this. I can’t even look at guys without having a gay thought because of all this porn I have been watching. Its been a day and it’s bad but I feel as it is getting better. I love the community on this app because we can all relate to each other and we are trying to change. Thank you again man, Merry Christmas Eve brother
     
    Syx19 likes this.
  14. Steven12191

    Steven12191 Fapstronaut

    23
    12
    3
    Hello everyone, it’s been honestly pretty good since I last checked in. I’m feeling better in pretty much every aspect of my life. My new job is not stressful and the money is incredible, me and my girlfriend are doing a lot better, I have a lot more control over my thoughts and feelings. Everything about my life just seems to be going on the right track and I’m super optimistic about going into 2023. I think this might genuinely be the year that I fully quit porn. I’ve been non stop watching porn almost daily for the last 15 years and after months and months of struggling to understand what gives me anxiety and how to stop it and prevent the porn addiction cycle from continuing to control my life. I can think clearly now. Im trying to cut out all of the electronic junk out of my routine and junk food out of my body. Im sick of feeling like a baby glued to a screen even just scrolling through Instagram. I plan on completely quitting porn for all of 2023. Merry Christmas y’all
     
  15. rangerxz

    rangerxz New Fapstronaut

    4
    14
    13
    Hey man that’s great to hear, I wish I can feel the same. I’m just starting my journey to stopping, I started the other day and already relapsed but I know some of my problems. I hope you have a prosperous and healthy new year and Merry Christmas
     
    user12345 likes this.
  16. Nice im so happy to hear that keep this positive energy and i bet 2023 will be one of your best years ever
     

Share This Page