The Secret of rewiring: The Cycle of PMO and Nofap and why 90 days won’t cure you.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by San7orini, Jun 26, 2020.

  1. San7orini

    San7orini Fapstronaut

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    This is a long post and contain some potential triggers words.



    I recommend reading until the end, it can potentially change your life if you implement it.



    My story

    Hi guys, my name is Juliano. I'm from Brazil, my first interaction with porn has been a magazine when I was very young. Soon after I was downloading porn using my brother computer. With 14 years old I got my first computer, start using porn daily, downloading movies with kazaa and borrowing dvds from friends. After some months I stop going out with friends, start to be more solitary. My routine was studying in the morning, video-games in free time and porn at night. My adolescence was a mess because of this.


    I had achieve 90 days in 2019 but I’m back here again… Days are just numbers, the rewiring takes long and even longer if you don’t help the process. When I was 90 days clean before I didn’t feel as powerful or cured as I feel now. I feel a lot more rewired to reality nowadays.



    I will pass to you all the things that really change me in the past 2 months. With this in hand you can rewire faster and healthier and stop looking for help 24/7. Commit to change, the only thing that hold us back is fear. Fear of having what we never had before...



    I reach 17 days in 17/05/2020, I relapse in 18/05/2020, but something was different... It was the first time I didn't binge, I was back at the goal. But now I felt different, my vision was clear somehow.



    Today I’m 38 days in, no gym available, no girlfriend, and even with fucking absurd sexual drive, getting raging erections even talking to old women (I will explain this later haha) I don’t feel the urges to relapse as before. They don’t even last 2 seconds. Something really changed.



    In the last few days I had fucking raging bull erection while talking to girls, at first I was embarrassed or try to hide somehow. Then I fucking let it go and find by myself that girls actually enjoyed, really enjoyed. I get an erection just by thinking about it. I believe this is how man are supposed to be. Women love to feel desired by a confident man.



    So I will stop talking about me and go to the subject in question:



    No addicted succeed in the first trying, we all need relapses for the knowledge to sink in the brain. In the first try we are heavily into it, doesn’t matter how hard we want to succeed we will relapse until eventually your subconscious realize that you’re trying something important. Since after every relapse you abstain again. That effort tells to your subconscious that must be something there.



    So how do we help the subconscious to speed this process, so we don’t need endless relapses and worsened withdrawals?



    Since the beginning of my journey I wrote journals, habits to replace and etc… There is to much information to follow but the best tools are rarely mentioned.



    If you have religious shame around sexuality or any past bad experience around sex that’s something to look into in order to fix while in Nofap, read books about human sexuality, female fantasies, etc. Sex is natural, all the laws regarding sex is human made, nature doesn’t care and you shouldn’t too, that’s the only way to feel and be free from any stigma and judgment about you and others.



    Now I will give you the tools that change my life and helped me rewire.



    There is a sea of tips and tools to deal with porn on the internet, but many aren’t really powerful. There is a lot of bullshit around porn addiction and some guys that just want your money.





    1. Build a Daily and Weekly plan (The-Reboot-Regimen-v1 e-book) This is a free e-book form “Universal Man”. Follow his channel, there is great tips for general improvement.


    It looks like this(my current plan):



    WEEK 7 PLAN



    HABIT TRACKER

    ==============

    ------------------------------ M T W T F S S

    PMO Free [34] ------------ [x] [x] [x] [x] [ ] [ ] [ ]

    STIMULATION FAST [7] --- [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [ ] [ ]

    Talk slow and clear -------- [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [ ] [ ]



    MIT’s

    =====



    • [3h9m] Read 14 hours of books.

    • [3] Get physical with 2 girls.

    • [2] Start a conversation with 3 hot girls.

    • [3] Consciously Flirt (provoke).






    TO DO’s

    ======



    • [4] Look into the left eye (I WANT THAT.)

    • [4] Picture the Conquest every night

    • [4] Connection with present via sensations

    • [2] Get out of the house 4 times.

    • [5] 20 min boxing


    Habit tracker:

    This is where you put the most important habits you want to track, repeat every important habit for 4 weeks before changing so that it can become permanent. I highly recommend starting with PMO (extremely important) and Meditation.

    Put the entire week in days and put and “X” every day you succeed at that habit.



    Mindfulness Meditation help you to stay present and ignore the monkey mind, with time you start to analyze your behaviors while they occur. With enough practice you will easily ignore thoughts. This is a very important tool to help you in this, I would call essential.

    Read the book: Power of now.

    It is essential to understand and be able to control your thought until your default-mode is in the present instead of traveling in your head.



    MIT’s (Most important tasks):

    This is where you put tasks that go in the direction of your goals, mine at the moment is strengthen my connection with the female sex and feel my masculine energy.



    If you were like me, you had been feeding your sex drive with porn. That kills your masculine energy/polarity. That’s why is so hard to abstain, you’re not used to have that amount of masculine energy, since you lack this experience you don’t know how to control it.

    I suggest putting tasks that help you control or transmute this sexual energy, learn to love your sex drive, you will feel horny and that’s great.



    Tasks that helped me:

    Gym is excellent, exercise daily. It can’t be easy, you have to feel you really did a good job.

    With the quarantine this has become unavailable in some places, including my country, so search for substitutes, but you don’t have any excuses to not get in shape. Be hot guys.

    Even a run or a long walk can do wonders to ground you. (just ignore your monkey brain while you exercise)



    Talk to girls, this is crucial at a certain point, since it will make you rewire faster. You can ignore this in first few weeks since you may not have a high sex drive yet to approach girls.



    Socialize, men or women, it doesn’t matter. If you have a friend, go visit him, spend more time with people and less time in the computer. Also stop video games, I was heavily addicted to it, been playing since I was 7 years old. The more you play, the bigger the chance of relapse, they’re both artificial unhealthy stimuli.



    If you don’t have friends, it’s ok. Be vulnerable and honest with men and women and soon you will receive pleasure for socializing.



    TO DO’s:

    This is less important tasks, things like cleaning your room, paying your bills, things that you want to resolve within that week and not postpone.



    You can put anything you want. I recommend putting things that help you towards you goal.



    HOW TO IMPLEMENT IT:

    Have a vision of the man you want to be, what he does daily? How he behave?


    Start slow, no more than 2 Habits to track, only 3 MITS or less, and maximum 4 To Do’s. Less is better. If you want to change everything at the same time YOU WILL BURN and fail, and soon stop following your habits.


    Daily plan
    Organize your Weekly plan habits, MITs and To Do's in a Daily plan document in the same format with a caveat:

    In your daily plan document write a "Critical Point"
    Below that critical point you will remind youself of something that my trigger you or something that can potentialy cause you to relapse.

    If your modis opendi was getting home after work, sitting in the chair, navite porn and fap you write that in your critical point so that you avoid doing the same things. Instead you could cook something, eat and then sleep or any other activity that is "safe" to do.

    To accomplish what you want for the week put the actions you will take that day. You will be feeling better every time you accomplish a task or succeed in your habit for that day.



    You can edit your weekly plan in the end of the week (Sunday night) or in the beginning of the next (Monday morning). Avoid postponing.



    Your M.I.T can be things you’re comfortable doing in the beginning, just be sure they’re in accordance with your goals, avoid lying to yourself. Be real and vulnerable. Soon you will gain a motivation to slowly get out of the comfort zone. Do it. Put 1 or 2 M.I.T that you know is important but you’re avoiding. Like approaching girls for example.



    Ok, with this tool in hand everything else will be easier.



    Now you’re a weapon, your habits will be your targets.

    A target to transfer your sexual drive and masculine polarity which are your bullets.



    2. INTENT



    What is intent?



    “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.” You had read these before, but you didn’t stop to think about it.
    If porn is your cope mechanism → If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will lead you to porn.

    So intent is knowing WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE

    WHAT do you want to achieve?

    WHY do this?

    Do you really want this? Or just think that you want?

    Because if you truly want it, it will be hard to relapse. This was the moment of truth for me, when all changed. I had an experience glimpse of what I wanted, after that, relapse is something I don’t need to spend energy avoiding. Because if you need energy to avoid relapse eventually you will burn and surprise: your dick is in your hands, your eyes glued to the screen watching other people fuck.

    I don’t know what you want, only you know. I knew what I wanted.

    I wanted to have abundance of women, not just sex. Abundance. I wanted to be able to talk to any women I find attractive, I wanted to be direct and honest with them. I wanted to be a sexual man. Someone that love people, someone connected with his masculinity. That was my Why. That was my What. That was where do I want to be.




    So...Do you ask? What is the value of intent?

    I will use my example and the example of many guys I knew in this journey.

    Many of you want to leave porn behind to connect better with girls, to make the sex better, to enjoy being around your girlfriend/wive/lover more. Because that was where porn was robbing you: your sexual side. You want that back, to be truly how you was supposed to be.

    Here comes the counter-intuitive strategy:

    So if I want that, what sense it makes to not have sex for 90 days or even more? If you want to be celibate for life or wait until marriage that makes sense, if not it doesn’t. Examples:

    1. If you want the same as I wanted, you need to rewire to real girls, not be celibate.

    2. If you want to do semen retention, then only cum when you’re trying to give her a baby.

    3. If you want to be celibate then Nofap indefinitely.
    This is the reason why guys NoFap for 1 year relapse. Their intent wasn’t congruent with what they’re doing, they weren’t being honest with themselves. That’s why I relapsed after 3 months of Nofap in 2019 and binged hard.



    I will give you powerful exercises to make your intent congruent with what you’re doing.

    If you wanted the same as me, experience real women, real connection, real people:



    Start to visualize women sexually. Yes, that’s it. It will be hard at first but when you see a woman you like in the street imagine her naked or even better: having sex with you. You can only do this while looking at her. Don't imagine her in your head, just try to see how would she looked like naked.

    If you’re talking to a girl you don’t need this, just be present with her, don’t wait for your time to talk, listen to her and feel her. Your job as a man is not to talk, it’s to give her the stage and let her give the show. Lead her. Feel her. Be grounded.



    I know this is counter-intuitive based on the everyday tips that you hear. Many people tell to not even look at sexy women, because they can trigger you. I heard this tip from a guy that was good with women. It work wonders for me.

    At first I though it would be unnatural, we weren’t supposed to naturally do this, or maybe I will be changing one women objectification for another. But no, we were supposed to be seeing women sexually. They see us sexually as well. They imagine even more absurd things with every day men crossing the street.


    Then it comes the next exercise.
    If a woman triggers you, you find her irresistible, too sexy, to hot, that’s nothing more than your brain saying: I want to have sex with her. Do this:



    Imagine yourself approaching her, talking to her, being honest and direct with her, imagine the sounds, the touching, the eye contact, your voice, her voice. Feel your body, feel her body. Imagine you taking her to an instant date, maybe going to her/your place. Make it as real as possible.

    Avoid imagine having sex with her.
    Your addicted mind only want the prize, the sex, he is accostumed to that. Imagine and be comfortable with the effort. That's directed effort, your subconscious will see that as something that is happening, with practice you will more and more make your subconscious comfortable with bold things in you're doing in your mind. It will realize is not dangerous to do that. Your mindset will also slowly change.


    At first it will be awkward to approach a girl even mentally, but you gotta start somewhere. With time it will feel natural and you will let your true self approach and see how he moves, talks, touch her. That’s what you want to be doing, but your ego is in the way.

    For additional help -> Read the books: No more Mr. Nice guy, Ego is the enemy.

    They are not essential but it will add value to you.


    Those 2 exercises will help you rewire to the real thing faster. You will see real women as potential partners quickly and your brain instead of using all his gears to pursue porn or avoiding porn will instead use every gear to pursue real women. That is what rewiring is, urges will never go away. Make the urges be around women, not porn.


    You don’t need to think about approaching, you will feel the urge to approach. But that takes time.



    HOW TO IMPLEMENT:


    Set a goal of how many girls do you want to see sexually everyday, a small number. Make a conscious decision to do it, after some weeks it will require less effort on your part and you will notice some changes. You can put this on your TO DO’s in the weekly plan like I did. You will notice your interactions turning more humane.

    Porn will quickly sound boring as fuck and real girls will be AMAZING!


    Before bed, when everything is shutdown: lie on your bed, don’t need to touch your dick, relax and as soon as the imagination comes, drift it to a real woman you saw today, or a girl that you want, any real girl. Imagine going up to her, with intent and courage, being direct and honest. Imagine your entire date or whatever do you want to have with her. Don’t need to take long, just be consistent. If you're having a hard time resisting porn avoid fantasizing about sex with her.



    Your brain can’t differentiate between fantasy and reality, if you’re having a romantic interaction with the girl in your mind you will have an erection (if you rewire enough for that). That will also give you “placebo experience” about approaching girls. Only dream about sex with a particular girl if you can induce a lucid dream. I find that lucid dream sex speed the process of wanting girls instead of porn a lot. You can research about induced lucid dreaming. It is easy to do with enough practice and is very rewarding. You will feel the touching and all sensations with the girls. You can cum easily and without control with this, since you’re dreaming. I hadn’t lose any benefits after cumming from a lucid dream, but then again, if you are doing semen retention like me you shouldn’t be cumming even in lucid dream sex.



    Slowly you will redirect your sexual drive and energy to the real thing. That is what you want.

    If you’re doing Nofap and avoiding seeing real women sexually you’re punishing yourself for trying to change and delaying your relapse. Since every human wants sex eventually your willpower will burn. You want to reward yourself for trying to change.



    OK, now you have a week plan and exercises on rewiring yourself to woman.


    After some weeks you may feel an urge to talk to a girl, go talk to her. Most interactions are awkward and it is okay. Awkward approaches have gotten me the best sex.


    If you’re afraid that after having sex you may feel a huge urge to watch porn, that is a real concern because it will happen. You gotta deal with this sooner or later. In the beginning even during sex some porn scenes may pop up. Be present, focus on the girl.


    Weakening the porn pathways while reinforcing it to real girls will seem harder than “Hard mode PMO” which is 90 days without sex, porn, cum. But it is the healthier and fastest way to rewire. After not having sex or approaching a girl for months your Nofap journey won’t have enough experience to rewire years of PMO. You have only experience on being assexual. That can't persist forever, eventually you will want a relase because you aren't giving your body intimacy with another body and he needs that. Even after years of Nofap people relapse. They weren't totally rewired.


    If you aren’t being true to yourself you will eventually relapse.


    If you are being honest with your intention (having courage to approach, commit to get laid, achieve what you want)

    If you’re being honest with your communication (being open and honest, not lying, being vulnerable)

    If you’re being honest with your lifestyle (living where do you want to live, having the hobbies that you want to have)


    You will not relapse.


    You have sexual energy, if you don’t put where you wanted it will return to where you put it in the past.


    If you want to change: how you think and see real women got to change. Use this confidence that Nofap gave you. Put it to work.

    You don't need to actually have sex while doing nofap, but your subconscious must think that you are at least trying. If not he will get tired and fuck you up.


    3. Cutting all artificial stimuli



    I will be brief, if you want explanation for every thing or substance I put here go research and link the dots.



    Cutting all this will help you a lot not only in achieving your reboot and not being trapped in the Nofap cycle of porn and clean, but also in living a general healthier life.



    Coffee: bad for you, disorganizes your body.

    Sugar: bad for you, your brain searching for dopamine. Sugar craving can lead to porn craving if you feed it.

    Video-games: your brain looking for pleasure, feed it with natural, healthy source of dopamine.

    Fast-food: bad for you, bad reward.

    Social media: Horrible, if you look at hot girls online your brain will get a hard time rewiring. Unfollow any hot girl that put sexy photos on instagram. You can chat them up for date and sex if you want but I recommend not wasting your time. Nothing more. Don’t even like their photos.

    Delete facebook, it’s garbage, limit your time on Youtube, and don’t watch entertainment. Avoid hot women on videos as well. Only the real thing that matters.

    Hot boobs, round assess on screen is still hot boobs and round assess, your brain can’t differentiate. Go touch reals boobs and slap real ass. Naked women on screen in any shape of form is bad, avoid it. Avoid forever, you don't need this nonsense.

    Masturbation: yeah, it’s “natural”, but normal virile man naturally don’t want to masturbate. Masturbation is a sign of not achieving sex. If you fap, you are giving your brain some release until you can find the next "mate". Successful, virile men do masturbate, but rarely. (based on books about human sexuality)

    Nowadays men masturbate a lot more than our ancestors, since men today are less virile, less masculine, and have way less focus and sex. We have a crisis of masculinity.

    Drugs: your brain looking for pleasure, feed it with natural, healthy source of dopamine.



    Obs: You can try psychedelics once in a while. I personally highly recommend Ayahuasca, nothing else.

    It can show the ego to yourself. It’s quite an experience to battle your own unconscious. It is a know fact to help cure addictions, many porn addicts also had tremendous help from this medicine.


    I had experience with mushrooms but they are most for fun so I avoid. Ayahuasca is not for fun, is for change.


    Real life is where the fun is. Being sober and present is the best high you can get.


    4. REWARDS


    Reward yourself, I usually reward myself after every 15 days of Nofap or any goal that I achieve. Normally the reward should be congruent with the task.


    Example: Every week, after the first month of Nofap I reward myself with a blowjob from a girl. I don’t engage in full intercourse since I’m training my body to do semen retention and it's freaking difficult.


    Reward like that are dangerous because of the “chasser effect”. If you don’t know what this is research it before reading the rest. I still recommend blowjobs however, they are great, and the pleasure from it will make your brain give more importance to real girls than porn. Since porn can't suck your dick. Full intercourse is great and make the rewiring to the real thing even faster but it will give you an even greater chasser effect. If you think you can handle then plan, before having sex plan what to do next. I will recommend avoid using computer the day after you had sex. Go slow.


    Do not rush to get sex, as long as you redirect your sexual energy to real girls and avoid feeding it with porn you will eventually have sex with girls. Sex with a rewired brain is 100000000x more pleasurable than sex with an addicted brain.

    Don’t concern yourself in pursuing sex. Sex is not that important to rewire, but since you need it your animal side must know that you’re at least trying. Doing those exercises without approaching will help, since you’re focusing your energy on real girls. While trying, the brain will help you to achieve the goal of having sex. It will want you to have sex, the random erection while talking to girls is a signal he is getting ready for action, you must do your part as well. If you don’t, porn will do.


    END


    Before this turn into a bible I will end here.


    I hope you can use it to better yourself. See yourself as someone you had commit to help.

    You deserve the best you can achieve for you. Remember, no one will do that for you. No one cares if you’re happy, if you’re getting laid or having the lifestyle that you want. Most people are crying about their own problems.



    Put your ego aside and go for what you want.


    It was a pleasure being part of this community. Before Nofap I was afraid of talking to girls, I would avoid social interactions with them. I couldn’t be sexual, couldn’t flirt or be direct. Talking to a girl was anxiety and pain, fire in my belly. Porn was my girl. I didn’t even know what confidence was. Some girls thought I was arrogant while in fact I was avoiding the tension in the interaction. I was working in jobs that I hate, neglecting social circle and friends, didn't care for making money or my lifestyle better. I didn't give a fuck about anything because porn and video-games were the fun was at.


    Now...Shit, I don’t even know where to start. Talking while maintaining eye contact is as normal as breathing. I’m sexual and direct, and touch women openly and don’t care. They love it and I love it even more. I get aroused and feel a warm feeling in my body just by putting my arm around a girl, just by touching her. I almost lose control just by the smell of a girl while talking to her. I feel like a cavemen. They feel it too. It’s hard to explain, it’s like I talk in sex language, look with an erection gaze and touch them with baby making intentions. Nofap was a blessing in my life. It didn’t change everything, I had to put in the work. Gym, meditation, socializing, changing friends, starting a business, martial arts, grounding my masculine energy, all this happen during my Nofap journey. Nofap gave me the fuel and motivation to pursue it.



    In the beginning I couldn’t achieve 7 days, and I didn’t believe so strongly that it would change anything.


    Now I don’t believe, I know.


    I’m thinking about starting something to help guys achieve the same thing, to connect with their real masculine power, since this is a topic that is barely touched outside spiritual teachings. Any criticism is welcome.


    If you read until here please comment, I would love to hear your opinion. Thanks guys. I want to see all of you in the other side of the battlefield.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 29, 2020
    Qazi, Survival 3 Man and Knighthawk like this.
  2. UnitedWeStand

    UnitedWeStand Fapstronaut

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    What you said is partially true. Congrats on this post, yet i found it somehow sexist. We don't have to "get raging boners" while girls like this in order to be sexually functional and have a functional life in general. Speaking like this is the reason nofap gets sued for sexism in lawsuits so please try not to sound like this, i know its not your intentions too
     
  3. San7orini

    San7orini Fapstronaut

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    I understand your concern. The problem is the sexist lawsuit, not my way of thinking.
    You don't have to have a raging erection, but they're natural. Some members of society try to persuade others to think this is wrong, but they don't want you to free in the first place.
    Male sexuality is like this. Women can hide their arousal, we can't. Nothing wrong about it.

    Nofap get sued because it is a pro-men movement, many people will hate the movement regardless. Don't be afraid.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2020
  4. UnitedWeStand

    UnitedWeStand Fapstronaut

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    Actually nofap started by a men supporting women addicts too. What you say is right about lawsuits but we shouldnt confirm those who go against nofap. I agree male sexuality is this but we dont need to think with our cock or flash our dicks out like perverts in order to function well. Good luck on your journey
     
  5. Rev2.0

    Rev2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Some interesting thoughts and some of which go counter to the conventional wisdom of NoFap. But it seems to be working spectacularly for you so that's great.

    I have one question: it sounds like you are regularly having physical contact with women and getting sex from them. How is this happening with coronavirus? Here in the U.S. pretty much all public places are now requiring you wear a facemask so you can't tell what a woman looks like other than her hair and eyes. And we are all required to stay 6 feet away from each other. It's to the point you can practically be arrested for getting too close to anyone else and women will look at you as worse than a pervert if you do and literally all but run away. NOBODY wants to cold approached by a man they don't know right now. It is the worst possible time to be dating or even trying to work on your "game" for these reasons. Dating has almost entirely moved online which takes the whole masculine vibe thing out of the equation and makes a guy's looks more important than they would be in real life.

    Maybe Brazil doesn't have the coronavirus problem or they're just not as uptight about it there? How are you getting out and finding these women who are responding so positively to you?
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2020
    Knighthawk likes this.
  6. San7orini

    San7orini Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man, I may expressed myself wrong. I don't think flashing the dick out is a good thing to doo. haha But not being ashamed in having a erection is the right mindset since we work this way. "thinking with your cock" means engaging in sexual communication. Men nowadays are too racional because they aren't ground to their sexuality.

    I know what I'm saying is way out there here in Nofap, it sounds like new age stuff but it's just the obvious. The mentors that helped me change aren't here, they are men connected with their sexuality. That set me free.
     
  7. Dr.LoveLength

    Dr.LoveLength Fapstronaut

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    Some good advice with setting goals and holding yourself accountable. Dunno what all the displaying hard ons to girls and talking with your cock thing is about though. Must be a south amercian thing lol

    For me I found as time went by I stopped over sexualising women and saw them less as just pure sex objects. This in turned resulted in me being much more naturel and smoother around girls which in turn lead to much more time under the sheets.

    I think for most sexual fantasizing is one of the main courses for replase into PMO, Its good you have managed to find away to inbrace them and direct it towards motiviation for meeting real partners.
     
  8. San7orini

    San7orini Fapstronaut

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    That's an awesome question.

    I live in South of Brazil, in Florianópolis island. We were the first to have lockdown. During the first lockdown I relapse, I was doing cold approach because masks weren't obligatory. I did very little at that time, since the gyms were closed I wasn’t transmuting my sexual energy in any way and I didn’t start to do those exercises that I mentioned, so I relapsed.


    I then build up this plan and in the first week I put the exercises that I mentioned in practice. The gym open again in April, then I slowly became more sexual with girls in the gym using social proof to my advantage. I was getting very good results, since I’m very honest and open they know exactly why I’m talking to them and they enjoy. I get physical in the gym, starting slow, usually with a firm handshake then I escalate slowly. Then we talk after the session or I pick their Instagram. I was doing this in the gym and the street, girls dress very provocative lately, because men don’t approach I suspect, so they have to look more appealing to incite a response. I may be wrong but I think is the case. So I approach girls that I find hot in the street as well, some girls will evade physical contact because of the reasons you mentioned. I usually find a way around, without touching first is difficult to set up a date without flaking.

    Were I was having the most success was the beaches since in the weekend there is ton of girls, they are very receptive to me and is very easy to set up a date from there.

    NOW tough, because of the last weekend (beaches full and etc) the politicians close everything again with a more strict lockdown and mask are now obligatory. Gyms are closed again since 23/06. So where do I approach?


    In the streets. There is girls going shopping, exercising and running, etc… I don’t rush or even approach them just for sex. If I find the girl sexy I just stop her within a good distance so she doesn’t freak out, then I go direct. They are using masks, but I can see their bodies. I can tell if she’s gorgeous. So that is what I do. I don’t usually go out just for approach, I approach when I go out to do whatever since staying home is not that productive.


    About the physicality in these times, well, I usually offer my hand, most girls get stunted in the approach so they pick my hand without thinking. Some others don’t pick my hand but are playful about it. In that case I just use proximity, even with the corona, talking in arms distance is way to platonic and boring. Physicality must be break quickly, if I can’t touch her early then I banter and go from there.


    Every girl I approach I go for an instant date. Picking her number and setting up later seems unnatural and non assertive, without physicality first is even weaker.


    Are you trying dating right now?


    I think Tinder is a very bad combination with Nofap. You can get sex from there with good photos and bio but it’s just shallow for me. (I have little success there)
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2020
  9. San7orini

    San7orini Fapstronaut

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    I feel "talking with your cock" wasn't very understood. haha

    Fantasizing is indeed very delicate. If the fantasies have some touch of porn fetishes then is dangerous.

    I usually don’t involve sex in my visualization, I visualize the approach first.

    Most fantasies only revolve around the “prize”, the sex part. That is bad, visualizing the effort, the practice is the way. This technique has been used for eons by famous men trying to reach their goals. I usually visualize conditions/places/situations that I don’t have experience yet. If the "fantasy" is all about the prize then relapse is very likely indeed.

    At first my Nofap journey by itself made me more comfortable with girls, I was enjoying my girlfriend more and I was smooth around girls. But lately I start studying male sexuality/presence a lot more and my world view just changed.

    I learn that “talking with your cock” (sexual communication) is the way to go, it’s the way women are more receptive about, and is impossible to fake, it’s all feeling.

    It’s very simple to put in practice but very complex to understand and get the grasp of it.

    The way I can put is: Being totally present with her, without any judgment and most importantly being bold, comfortable with your intentions and comfortable with your communication.

    It’s like being in a trance, the joy of being, that’s why I’m so fascinated by this stuff.
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2020
  10. Rev2.0

    Rev2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Fascinating. It sounds like guys from the U.S. who are tired of being cock-blocked by coronavirus need to take a trip to Brazil!
     
  11. ewerson18

    ewerson18 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, could you talk more about your ayahuasca experience?
     
  12. San7orini

    San7orini Fapstronaut

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    I had 5 Ayahuasca experiences, all this year.

    The first time I tried Ayahuasca I drank the brew just about 6 hours after a relapse. It felt like making love to myself, it was all pleasant. I could talk for days about every experience since they last long and are very intense. After the first time I tried I already felt that my link with porn was weakened.

    Every one experience is different since it work in the subconscious level, it basicaly bring you subconscious to the surface wich is quite scary.

    The experiences that really change me was the 4, and the 5 time to a lesser extent.

    The 4 time was the first time it wasn't a pleaseant experience, it was quite horrible. My trip lasted around 6 hours and the "Icaro" (the song they sing) didn't stop.

    In this experience I felt like my mind was connecting with an unknown force, some kind of vibration. I heard a constant sound, a vibration that started just after I encounter my ego and lasted until the end of the experience. That part I could say it was the most intense moment of my life. I felt like I was going to die. It felt real, I thought about calling my bother that was working at the hospital at that time. I was afraid of what that whole experience was and part of me wanted to continue to see where the rabbit hole goes.

    Dude... I can't explain with words what that was. I decide to let myself die if that was the time, I let it go. I repeated in my mind: "Se agora for a hora, que eu mora então" (if this is the time, then I will die.), then the pain reduced and bang... I enter into a trance, my body freezed and my ego was vulnerable, looking into me. I felt my ego gazing into my eyes (despite my eyes being closed), I then talked to him without saying any words. At first I try to fight him, I wanted to win, to defeat it and be a better man. Then I started to understand him and have pity of him, he was trying... Shit, remembering this made me cry. He was trying to protect me, all the behaviours was him trying to protect itself from something that was hurting him. I wanted to hug him, and I did. I cried while I felt his pain and he felt mine. I convince he of the best ways of doing things, I convince him that his ways wasn't the correct answear. I said to him that I would guide us, to believe me, to not be afraid and let the past die. After 30 minutos or so in all this I wake up from the trance. I was is disbelief, all my mindset was changed, my worldview was defied.

    I laughed, I cried, I hug myself. After the trance my mind shut up. I couldn't think, I could only be present in the moment. I get up to drink some water and every move I did was different, when I drink the water it tasted like the best thing I ever tried. I praise the water for being available to me.

    After this experience I wasn't the same, I didn't expect this. My craving for porn got massively destroyed in that experience. I became aroused by women a lot easier. I felt the medicine was trying to make me connect with my roots. I saw warriors, I saw blood. I felt a masculine empowering presence lifting me up. I made all kinds of faces, I felt all kinds of emotions during the trip. While laid in bed I moved in all kinds of way. I was in another dimension. The medicine was setting me free, it showed me the brief moment we all have in this life and to experience all the sensations with wisdow.

    Some people don't change that much with the medicine, not everyone is attuned to receive what she has to give.
    Ayahuasca is feminine energy, open and flowing. I believe Ayahuasca experiences are always enjoying but the best ones are the ones that your ego get a little more "destroyed" each time. Pleasant experiences don't make you grow as much. People using Ayahuasca mostly want good trips. You got to choose pleasure or grow.

    Are you thinking about trying?

    If yes, then do it with someone you trust. After some time you can do it alone.
     
  13. ewerson18

    ewerson18 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the answer. Yes I'm planning to do it. I've a friend who drank it and this literally changed his life. I really want to use it with the help of some people a good place, but by now everything here is closed because corona virus.

    Did you went to a cerimonial place?
     
  14. Very interesting stuff here. I agree with most of it, and don’t agree with some aspects. I love how you talked about rewiring the brain to real girls by talking with them and pursuing them. I feel like avoiding all stimuli both real life and screen but also usually ignoring real life girls is not helpful at all. I agree with the visualization and then doing it, but I don’t agree with fantasizing. I also think the sexuality is a bit much but that sounds like a cultural difference to me. Also as others have said most people are extremely distant to strangers in public here in the US due to the coronavirus.

    All in all there are some gems of truth here that have definitely helped me and opened my eyes to new crucial aspects of rewiring. Thanks!
     
  15. Sir Thomas Browne

    Sir Thomas Browne Fapstronaut

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    Yes mate!

    So far as I understand you, I should be trying to get boners in public and then I should be showing them off to random women I might encounter during my daily travails?

    You spoke of visualisation, as in "Where do I see myself in five years?" I think I see myself in prison should I follow your advice.
     
  16. San7orini

    San7orini Fapstronaut

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    Haha, good one.
    Not even in the U.S. you will get jailed for having a boner. That's nonsense. There is literaly hundreds of prank videos of guys doing this and girls laught at most. You can't be jailed for having a harmless, natural erection. Don't need to flash, just don't try to hide.

    Having fear of jail for that it's just a excuse.
     
  17. San7orini

    San7orini Fapstronaut

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    Could be a cultural difference, I believe people here are more open to being touched. I have seen plenty of guys getting physical really quickly in the U.S. as well. I believe is in the guy, women like sensual men. Maybe guys in developed countries are disconnected with this side. Maybe they're too domesticated by society.
     
  18. San7orini

    San7orini Fapstronaut

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    I always did with people around but never in a cerimonial place. I know a guy that have extensive experience with the medicine and wants to be a shaman. Believe, all the work is inside, there is to much nonsense around where to use it, how, the "dieta" and etc..

    I ordered online and then use it in my home while listening to the Icaro in my sound system.

    With this coronavirus only "mercado livre" is selling it and it's pretty expensive even though with this social distancing is the best time to drink it.
     
    ewerson18 likes this.
  19. ewerson18

    ewerson18 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I was looking here, too expensive, with this price I could went to a farm in São Paulo which is a ceremonial place that I'm aiming to go. By the way, I will wait this lockdown, thanks again.
     

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