the sexual transmutation-trick that made NoFap effortless for me!

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by KaelDenna, Apr 13, 2019.

was this helpful?

  1. yes

    32 vote(s)
    86.5%
  2. no

    5 vote(s)
    13.5%
  1. KaelDenna

    KaelDenna Fapstronaut

    8
    48
    13
    hi! my first post here, don't know if this has been discussed before, but i found this conceptual synthesis to be a life changer in NoFap!
    you aren’t horny; you’re just feeling masculine. — my life-changing discovery!
    it’s worth a read, but you can ignore the next four paragraphs if you just want to get to the meat of the matter.

    we have heard so much do’s and don’ts for success in NoFap on this forum, but what has been lacking (perhaps just for me and a handful of more analytical / less pragmatic people) has been an understanding of our inner world and where and how it has gone wrong and how to fix it.

    understanding the mechanisms of rebooting on a scientific level, has nothing to do with integrating it into your personality. just like one can read all about hormones and neural pathways that create love, but still love foolishly and unwisely, or never understand it because he/she never experienced it first hand.

    what most of us with single digit streaks do, is convince ourselves of the benefits of NoFap, still secretly doubt that it will be that amazing at a gut level, and put ourselves under a test of faith with every urge that tries to convince us: “just this once!”
    we don’t know what it really is like to achieve a 100+ days streak, and we fail too often too soon to ever get a chance to see the awesome life that awaits us. we need to see it, feel it, live it ourselves, have our personalities changed, for that idea of being disgusted by our own relapses to actually manifest itself in our actions. a taste of a positive sexual energy— and i have found method to experience just that!

    so about a week ago, i was meditating on my urges in the shower, trying to come to terms with the fact that there’s no one time cure for addiction and i just have to endure the urges for a long time. i was accepting that this is a state in which i will spend much time, and that if i want to stop fapping once and for all, i need to accept and embrace this “feelings”
    i looked down at my junk and noticed it was soft.

    how can i be horny and yet flaccid? my first thought was “maybe the sexual images manifesting in my subconscious haven’t reached my dick yet” but something about that statement felt wrong. how do you know it’s sexual if your dick is unaffected? all you’re imagining (or all your subconscious is imagining FOR you,) is a feminine shape. i meditated a bit more on this urge. relaxing my body completely, letting the warm water wash over me, as i opened my mind to this “urge” and tried not to resist or act upon it — to just breathe through it. — then it dawned on me: i’m just feeling masculine!
    i tried putting it into words: “the image in my head is a feminine form, accompanying it, a desire for being dominated. a certain submissiveness. and in contrast to that, i feel myself to be masculine, accompanied by a desire to dominate, and to show care for the submissive feminine energy in front of me.” i immediately felt that i no longer want to fap as a response to that urge, i wanted rather to squeeze an actual girl in my arms. i didn’t want to put my hand around my dick, i wanted to grab a girl’s butt.

    i closed my eyes and started breathing heavy, grabbed onto a pipe sticking out the wall and squeezed it, feeling my body from within; i just wanted to feel masculine... no! i just wanted this feeling of masculinity that was already in me to intensify.
    i got out of the shower as soon as i could, carrying that masculine feeling outside with me. i noticed i was standing tall and with sharp focused eyes. i went over to my dumbbells and had one of the best workouts i had! it seemed to satisfy that masculine urge, and it slowly faded, giving way to a desire for rest. (a more or less feminine desire)

    this was a success, so i went to sleep happy, eager to put it to test for the next day.
    i woke up, like usual, with a raging hard on and a desire to browse instagram while still in bed. but i remembered: wait a second! i’m just desiring for a feminine body — to contrast it to my own masculinity.
    i got up with a burning desire to explore a girl and feel her body, but i had zero interest in having my dick stuck in anything. that’s when i knew i had made a ground breaking discovery: i had learnt to transmute my sexual energy, by dividing it into a positive desire for dominance, and a negative one in form of a lack of being; femininity was found wanting in my life.

    it’s been 7 days and i have experimented with this a lot. i no longer have “urges” for masturbation, only urges for asserting dominance. when i see a hot girl, i no longer think like a misserable wanker who is ashamed of his masculine desires, because my masculine desires aren’t perverted, instead i feel like my body is working with me, and supporting me with masculine energy that not only increases my confidence, but aligns my subconscious with the feminine body language in a way that i naturally respond well to social cues.
    if you think about it in these terms, all the “superpowers” that people on this forum and the subreddit talk about, suddenly make intuitive sense!
    and they're no longer 100+ days away from you; certainly the potency of masculine energy grows with time, but you have the power to feel like an alpha male whenever you naturally get “urges” — key word being naturally. i tried evoking the urges by watching porn, i didn’t relapse but it didn’t work. i might explain in a later post.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2019
  2. ShyIIock

    ShyIIock Fapstronaut

    46
    80
    18
    You beatiful man I have the same feeling :) (actually I do have urge to masturbate but no need to watch porn or any sub to it). I just want to have a grill in my arms and take care about her. Thank you for the post, really good perspective for interacting with grills :)
     
    NamaClature14 and KaelDenna like this.
  3. KaelDenna

    KaelDenna Fapstronaut

    8
    48
    13
    thanks! i do desire a butt pressed against me, but that can't be substituted with any physical sensation that does not include an actual, living, breathing female!
     
    NamaClature14 and ShyIIock like this.
  4. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    1,433
    3,621
    143
  5. FapistMonk

    FapistMonk Fapstronaut

    103
    226
    43
    This is good. I find something similar happens once I have enough days piled up. It's almost like waves of desire coming over me, but in a good way. I just feel it, but there is no compulsion to do something about it. It actually feels good. And there is no specific target, just the feeling. And I wonder if this is what I've been seeking all along in the behavior. It could just be the result of some kind of kundalini thing rising that I usually dissipate daily by masturbation. I think part of me returns to the way I looked at women and the female form when I was a young adolescent--intensely magic and exciting, but with no thought of self touch. This was before I was even sure what sex actually was or what a vagina really looked like. Long before porn

    Last night it felt as though I was stroking myself as I came awake. It felt OK, but it took me several seconds to say "Hey! Stop!" It was like in the moment I almost forgot what I am trying to do, and for a very short few seconds, it felt "OK," like "nothing wrong with this!" But then, I stopped and jumped up out of bed and broke the trance. Another minute and the streak would be over.
     
  6. KaelDenna

    KaelDenna Fapstronaut

    8
    48
    13
    this is how i think of it: the masculine part of you submits and resorts to deception, taking the easy way out of its desires, by mimicking sex without actually earning it, and at the same time, the feminine part of you becomes active and takes control of your arm to 'take care of you' — once you're done, you experience the synthesis of a submissive masculinity and an overcompensating femininity. this manifests in the form of psychological tension from deceptive and perverted manhood that has escaped to your subconscious, and physical effeminacy. this can also explain why porn addicts are more accepting of abnormal sexual behaviors, and have weaker will power; hypofrontality of cortex.

    in my opinion, to integrate this well into your personality, you must be exclusively masculine on the outside, while your psyche focuses solely on the maximization of feminine pleasure.
    while staying abstinent, this will manifest in the form of active pursuit of girls, and effortless noFap success, and while having sex, reduces the likelihood of premature ejaculation and promotes performance in bed.

    this shower thought of mine is NOT scientific, but it's a hot take that reasserts itself well once you learn how to apply its basic principle!
     
  7. It_is_time

    It_is_time Fapstronaut

    25
    31
    13
    This must be one of the best discoveries you will ever make! Thanks for sharing this - it will be helpful for many men out there. Your masculine energy can be channeled into so many useful things that have the potential of creating great success in your life. That is what REAL masculinity is about! Keep going, man!
     
    KaelDenna likes this.
  8. Anunaki

    Anunaki Fapstronaut

    8
    9
    3
    Thank you for this post, I feel desperate about the process, the urges come everyday stronger and not feeling the benefits all the time. makes it even harder.

    This post made me go back into my childhood memories what was it like to see a woman before porn had infected my brain. Porn came to be in my life at very early age and I begun masterbation since I remember anything, used to hump my mattress and after discovering porn magazinen the hand came in.

    Maybe this was not important but I needed to say something since I have been a member to nofap for many years but have been idle, relpasing, binging, in depression and I need support so I better stick more around here.
     
    Alaskamoose, KaelDenna and It_is_time like this.
  9. KaelDenna

    KaelDenna Fapstronaut

    8
    48
    13
    glad i could help! and yes! that's what i hoped it would do!
    masculinity shouldn't be perverted. the urges don't have to induce desire for sex. the desire can be for feminine touch and affection.
    imagine some time from now, you get a beautiful wife and she decides to dress well for you and act cute and lovely. even if you're 1000+ days into NoFap, if your only desire is to fuck her, you have missed the point; the peak of masculinity isn't in fucking, it's in dominating. feeling your muscles and body heat from within, letting her touch your washboard abs, feeling her fragile body in contrast to yours. etc.

    i hope you don't just focus on NoFap. it's a great tool, but what's more important is getting your masculinity sorted out, and turning into an Alpha!
     
    tedy26, Robinthehood and It_is_time like this.
  10. BravelyKegger

    BravelyKegger Fapstronaut

    1,421
    2,049
    143
    KaelDenna likes this.
  11. KaelDenna

    KaelDenna Fapstronaut

    8
    48
    13
    thank you! of course! it seemed like the proper synthesis of my desire for Alpha masculinity and the 'urges' that were blocking it.
    but that's not all. i see you have guts as your profile pic! griffith's sacrifice for his Dream inspired me to seek out a way to sacrifice my own life to a dream, but i kept failing, until i managed to integrate the 'sufferer' archetype alongside it.

    as you might have guessed already, i got these ideas after reading Hegel. a main source of success for more than just my NoFap journey! you might wanna give it a read if you haven't already.
     
    BravelyKegger likes this.
  12. Pati_ryu

    Pati_ryu Fapstronaut

    this article is so good. it should be featured in highlights here or maybe at yourbrainonporn
     
    KaelDenna likes this.
  13. BravelyKegger

    BravelyKegger Fapstronaut

    1,421
    2,049
    143
    Sounds interesting
     
  14. s0gek1ng

    s0gek1ng Fapstronaut

    8
    9
    3
    so true bro I totally agree with you.
    my experience about the topic in this thread https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...es-on-my-day-3-funny-one.229723/#post-2027491
     
  15. gagate

    gagate Fapstronaut

    224
    285
    63
    What I found out to be very working is, you need to stop identifying with being a body, grab a mirror and do self inquiry of who am I
     
    NamaClature14, Pedro.lives and Lirudu like this.
  16. FapistMonk

    FapistMonk Fapstronaut

    103
    226
    43
    I like this. Is there any particular tradition you would suggest? (Not that there has to be one)..
    I agree: stop identifying with the body. Turn within. Thank you gagate.
     
  17. oromis

    oromis Fapstronaut

    8
    10
    3
    This is actually my first post here. I just could not not reply! (if that makes sense)

    So I'm on my 8th day now and I thought I was flatlining because I didn't feel the urge to fap even with a boner.

    I however later realized that this wasn't the case! I wasn't flatlining but rather just desired just something real and tangible.
    To experiment with this I even tried opening Instagram. The urge didn't spike up at all despite looking at pictures of almost naked women!
    I ended up closing the app within 2-3 minutes simply because it didn't interest me at all!

    I've also come to accept that it's completely okay to have a desire or sexual response - after all I'm a guy and also a biological being. It will happen. Acting upon it though is something that we can control.

    I also have to mention one more thing that I don't see anywhere .
    Previous to this I'd never made it past the 3 day mark. Every attempt had me starting with the mindset of "wow 90 days.. can I even go that high?? I bet it's super tough"
    This was also mostly accompanied by panic whenever I'd feel my libido go up or feel my sex drive in general.

    I feel one of the most important things is not over complicating the problem by giving it too much importance. It's kinda how stressing out before a test or interview affects you negatively. Or worrying too much about that small pain you'd get after lifting really heavy.

    The one thing that has worked for me is taking that leap of faith with confidence that I will not lapse before 90 days and not thinking back at all or worrying.
     
    Lirudu and KaelDenna like this.
  18. Jonny1992

    Jonny1992 Fapstronaut

    689
    4,971
    123
    I just wank it off...
    O wait wrong way :D
     
  19. ClickClickBoom

    ClickClickBoom Fapstronaut

    129
    1,947
    123
    That's a very empowering perspective.
    Glad i read it

    Best wishes,
     
    KaelDenna likes this.
  20. gagate

    gagate Fapstronaut

    224
    285
    63
    Ramana maharshi explains well self inquiry i think
     

Share This Page