The simplest/ easiest way to overcome PMO addiction (IMHO).

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Thechosenone, Jun 21, 2019.

  1. Thechosenone

    Thechosenone Fapstronaut

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    I've been aware of Nofap since about 2014. Here are my thoughts:

    Rather than tackle an entire addiction that has taken years and years to ingrain, it's better to tackle this relapse by relapse (IMO).

    The thing is, aiming for perfection I've found, is not really sustainable. E.g. let's say you go over 200 days nofap. And you fap, then what? Are you going to beat yourself up? Do you go back to binging? - This has never truly made sense to me. And i feel this is quite unhealthy to expect this of yourself. Yes, you should have the intention, but if you actions don't line up 100% don't beat yourself up about it.

    I'm returning back here on this forum after 3+ years, with a deeper insight into what needs to actually be done.

    So it comes down to this. Relapse will occur - you need to be ok with it, but what you do after it is all that matters.

    The way to overcome your PMO addiction is here:

    1) After a relapse, in a notebook write down:
    - The app / triggering emotion, what you fapped to and how, and the end result.
    - E.g. Tinder > Edged past point of no return at 2am > MO.
    - Do this every time you MO, PMO etc.

    2) Remove access to the trigger:
    - What i found was Tinder & Instagram would trigger me, so I deleted them immediately after a relapse.
    - Delete any sexy pics you have as well. From girls you've seen or whatever. Have no dirty images from your phone. It doesn't matter if she's a famous IG model who sent you nudes (which has happened, which I deleted). It has to go.
    - Your most cherished images, when deleted, will bring about a real opportunity in real life. (Search the Vacuum Law of Prosperity).
    - If i go back to install one of the two, I require less willpower to stop myself, as I've figured out through enough trial and error, it's not worth it, my brain has the proof it needs. You know not to do that again.

    If you do this, within 15 minutes of a PMO, or a MO, you will become more conscious of your habit. You're building pattern recognition. And eventually what will happen is that when you're triggered, your pattern recognition memory is triggered too. Then you will be able to use your pre-frontal cortex to stop yourself from fapping.

    If you did this every time you relapsed, you'd have no choice but to not want to fap. Your mind will be strong enough. And it doesn't have to be more difficult than that.

    Yes, try you best to stay away from it for as long as possible at least 90 days, but don't beat yourself up. Just get wiser a little bit each time - and you'll be course correcting. Eventually you'll come to a point where you stop fapping naturally. Where that 200 day streak will come naturally to you.
     
  2. george53

    george53 Fapstronaut

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    I like your point of view and your status "just relapsed after 220 days xD" it's way better to just laugh it off and keep going rather than just spending all the following days thinking about it and feeling miserable.

    It's not only NoFap, it's also a mindset you have to develop to feel like it's not a big thing, otherwise you'll be surprisingly more likely to relapse.
     
  3. NamaClature14

    NamaClature14 Fapstronaut

    @Thechosenone ^^^**PANIC BUTTON MATERIAL RIGHT THERE***^^^
    This is gold! I am years into recovery now and the advice you have given above is crucial. If we don't develop pattern recognition and essentially self-forgiveness, the unconscious habit to "feel good" and the cyclical shame underlying it afterword feeds the want to do it more!
    Entire point is to build pattern recognition and re-spons-ability, the literal ability to maintain responsiveness.



    This is what it's all about because we are trying to measure real recovery here. If you go 100 days and then relapse your ratio of days not fapped to days fapped is huge over, abstain for 100 days, relapse, beat yourself up and then continue to fap for 2 more weeks.

    The next step is the true want to stop forever... There are a couple times where i was out of the woods only to peak backward and fall all the fucking way down the hill. . It's not easy for sure but if there is one thing i have learned over the last 4 years of NoFAP it's that suppression and neglect of sexual urges is NOT the answer. We have to understand them and find a healthy expression, not porn.
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2019
  4. Daneiiiil

    Daneiiiil New Fapstronaut

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    Youre right, ive so far managed to delete Instagram, iFunny, and Reddit (where I came from), still need snapchat but there is nothing explicit that triggers me, lets see how it goes without those triggers
     
  5. stoneyman22

    stoneyman22 Fapstronaut

    XD I NEED IT!!!
     
    NamaClature14 likes this.
  6. Thechosenone

    Thechosenone Fapstronaut

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    I'm very happy to see you guys are finding this valuable. It's beautifully simple, and it will work wonders as you practice it.
     
    Jonny1992 likes this.
  7. vad

    vad Fapstronaut

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    Wow such inspiring and motivational words! You really thought welk about the. I wish you the best of luck! Keep it up! May God Bless you my friend!!
     
    Thechosenone likes this.
  8. Abd321

    Abd321 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey, could you give me a best reason why i must quit from PMO, im in hopeless to stay in nofap. I need it plz. Im just able through first day and then relapse n always fall in that cycle, i did it once or even twice a day.
     
    stoneyman22 likes this.
  9. dustyastronaut

    dustyastronaut Fapstronaut

    Great advice! It's so important to realize why the relapse happened, rather than just having that "oh well" mentality. Thanks for sharing!
     
  10. Bobske

    Bobske Fapstronaut

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    ok, removing SO ;0
     
    Thechosenone likes this.
  11. Thechosenone

    Thechosenone Fapstronaut

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    What's the worst thing that could happen if you keep fapping? Do you want to be weak all your life? Do you want to have less confidence? Do you want people to be repelled by you? Think about it.
     
    Africanman, Adish0501, Abd321 and 2 others like this.
  12. Thechosenone

    Thechosenone Fapstronaut

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    No problem, that's all there really is to it!
     
  13. redbeaverstart

    redbeaverstart New Fapstronaut

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    Cheers for the tips. Iv relapsed for the past two months every friday :(
     
    stoneyman22 likes this.
  14. stoneyman22

    stoneyman22 Fapstronaut

    you know your pattern now use that knowledge to distance yourself from the usual routine on friday. Go for a walk or get high or something instead of what you normally do. Just change it up brotha things will get better 7 day streaks are not bad.
     
  15. redbeaverstart

    redbeaverstart New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man, i think its cause iv been at work all week and want to release a little lol. Anyway its friday tomorrow so wish me luck :)
     
    Kiz Whalifa and stoneyman22 like this.
  16. stoneyman22

    stoneyman22 Fapstronaut

    u got this bro.
     
    Kiz Whalifa likes this.
  17. Judgment

    Judgment Fapstronaut

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    I feel that NoFap should add a journal system to implement this approach to NoFap. Although the community is pretty open-minded about handling the issue, the site itself is more geared towards the streak system and does not maintain any way to log relapses. I like the realism of this approach.
     
  18. stoneyman22

    stoneyman22 Fapstronaut

    actually there is.
     
    Kiz Whalifa likes this.
  19. People arent responsible for their actions.
    We dont have free will
    If you realise that, then you stop beating yourself up for mistakes
     
    stoneyman22 likes this.
  20. stoneyman22

    stoneyman22 Fapstronaut

    it's easier said than believed man. I like your style.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

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