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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by BrohkenCompass, Sep 3, 2020.
Amen, brother. Congrats on 2+ weeks. Stay alert for those triggers.
Day 14, two weeks on march.
Every clean week I want to post a poem on this thread as a way to motivate everyone and force me to memorise poetry.
And did those feet in ancient time
Walk upon England mountains green:
And was the holy Lamb of God
On Englands pleasant pastures seen!
And did the Continence Divine,
Shine forth upon our clouded hills?
And was Jerusalem builded here,
Among these dark Satanic Mills?
Bring me my Bow of burning gold:
Bring me my arrows of desire:
Bring me my Spear: O clouds unfold!
Bring me my chariot of fire!
I will not cease from Mental Fight,
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand:
Till we have built Jerusalem,
In Englands green & pleasant Land.
- William Blake.
@BrohkenCompass Take me in..
Four strikes for me boss. Not a good week.
You bet. Welcome to the challenge. I hope you finish strong!
Sorry you're having a tough time @John Uskglass . Truthfully, I've been there most of the year, especially march-june. I journaled all of it and just kept trying man.
Checking in. Still going strong.
Very close half century
Well this means a lot for boy who had pmo for about 3 times a day to no pmo since 1 and 1/2 Month.
After this event my mind has started imagining p again and i am afraid about wet dreams because every night i feel like I will get wet dream tonight as i am very likely to be alone at that time and my brain again starts imagining p
I have already got one wet dream 3-4 days ago but there was no signs of semen.
Forgot to check in for many days.
I am still IN!
Must say its fucking struggle.
I feel tingling in my penis.
Sex thoughts very often.
I get erections quite often.
I feel tired almost every day.
Strong urges to start at least edging
-> I know I cant give up now -> character building days so lets build something worth having!
Good luck lads!
22 days in, myself. We are doing this, my friends.
Every day is what? --- A ONE DAY CHALLENGE
Yes, it really is that easy. Push these urges, thoughts, images, feelings aside for one more day. Wake up and thank God you had the strength and ask for more strength to do it again.
Each of us that goes another day is a SHINING EXAMPLE of what strength looks like. And each day posts like these are a BEACON OF LIGHT for the next guy who is struggling in that darkest moment to choose to fight, or surrender.
Keep sharing, you never know when YOUR victory is the encouragement that makes a fellow challenger that much stronger... enough to keep going.
Wishing you each strength...
Checkin - Day 48. What a day. When I read what you wrote @_Just_For_PRJ_... It makes sense what I experienced last night.
I had a fully fledged wet dream... Brain exposing me to alot of the (softer) stuff that I used to wear/use/look at, with a Narrative throughout the dream saying "it's alright", "it's normal" and other excuses. However, like you, there was no ejaculate, or semen - I remained continent.
I was confused about this - I have now thinking that it was my (lower primate) brain trying to trick me into having a relapse. Or can it be that my mind is trying to normalise these things as a way for me to feel happy about who I am and identify with. I think that this will require proper talk therapy with a professional.
Today, apart from spending too much time on Telegram, and going down rabbit holes - and eating too much, all the usual stuff. I've not had a bad day.
I think my lower primate is undergoing a period of grief for the FAP lifestyle that the human has run from. But what is this grief? Grief for a lot of wasted time, a moments pleasure and then a load more grief and regret. Whatever am I grieving about?!?!
Whenever I analyze this situation logically, it becomes clear that I am being irrationally driven to miss things that I've got no right to miss. It's more like I'm escaping from an abusive partner, than any meaningful activity.
Whilst I am trying also to avoid NightFall, through meditation - avoiding triggers - and Kegel Excercises (e.g. Deliberately stopping flow of pee whilst peeing, many times) I know that it may still happen. As/If/When it happens I must be psychologically clear that it DOES NOT constitute a relapse, because my lower primate will use that as an excuse to PROPERLY RELAPSE As/If/When it happens.
Getting an appreciation for how complex this stuff can be.
Stay strong, onwards and upwards to 50 and beyond...
I've experienced similar confusion. I have to look in the mirror and ask my addict self - how many more days are you going to waste with PMO? Because I'm feeling this sense of loss that my favorite friend is now missing from my life. WTF?! Part of your brain is thinking that PMO is something that is productive and worthwhile? Um, NO! This is a good discussion to have with ourselves, my friends. Make sure you have it in your own way when you doubt the worthiness of your efforts to be PMO free. Stay strong everyone.
Cheking in as well guys, all of you are a great motivation to keep going. I recently joined this forum, so in the past i always felt alone when trying to give up PMO, but this time feels so different. I come to the forum everyday before sleep, and frankly always feel leaving motivated and happy. Thanks for this support.
I'll be keeping with you guys all the way. Lets start together a stronger 2021.
Daily 24 - my daily struggle. After a few mellow days that b1tch is back, trying to push my addict brain into P. Bringing back images of specific things that were a total obsession for me. And perhaps still are. Literally had the phone in hand several times to start searching, and set it down each time. By thinking about many of the stories here about how crappy we feel after falling into a PMO session, I gave myself a pause to think and gather some strength. This sh1t ain't easy always.
The last couple of days went great. Practiced for an audition and got in. Today I had to study more for another audition, but I fucked up my schedule. I'm stressed and haven't prepared well enough.
I couldn't handle the stress and relapsed. I worked too hard the last couple of weeks and didn't have enough rest so I couldn't handle the urges. Planning on making my schedules work better. This situation will probably happen more because I'm only getting busier, so I'll have to find a way to deal with it. Even more reason to get my schedule fixed.
I also didn't work out or go for a run because I was so busy. This is the biggest mistake I made this time. I should make more time to work out and release the excess energy.
To be honest I'm a bit sad about the relapse, but I'm not devastated. I know a relapse doesn't have the same impact at it did years ago. Right now I'm working with a therapist to get the root cause of the addiction sorted, so I'm making progress wether I relapse or not(This also makes it harder, because the sessions release build up emotions). I did have heavy urges all day and that's when I was in my room alone studying. I'm quite proud I actively resisted them the whole day.
I know I shouldn't think like a relapse isn't that bad, but only considering the consequences doesn't work anymore to motivate me to not relapse. I have to find an other way to change my ways.
I relapsed unfornately but I'm learning from my mistakes and I'm changing the way I use the technologies and adapting to new habits.
In basketball Michael Jordan failed thousand of times before become a champion.
Never give up brothers and sisters!
Day 0 Check in!
Sorry to hear about your relapse man.
Maybe creating a self rewarding system where you give yourself things that you want but are holding back from getting?
Sorry man. You're right about MJ23. We don't fail until we quit trying.
@Brahmacharya_UK was saying about the brain and how he enters in conflict with our ambition. Somehing that I found miles helpfull was the Metascript inside the Man of Action Series, which I believe many of you know, but, for those who don't know, the link to the videos: