Day 26. Today I almost relapsed, this morning was pretty tense, the thought of what could I see was wandering my mind all this morning, but, luckly today arrived a book that I bought, "Gorin No Sho" from Myamoto Musashi, a major help.
I really noticed the increase in testosterone at Day 7. Also the ladies give me more attention (but that could be the fact I'm a white guy living in Korea). I really liked where I was at before relapsing a week ago. So that itch would need to be pretty big
I don't know the day I don't have any urges I am not dependent on p anymore I am living my life to its fullest Full discipline Full enjoyment Full study Full friends Best family Best teachers It proves that I am the richest man in the universe
Just wanted to affirm this. Keep going friend. Day 28 for me. Also my birthday. This is a great gift.
Maybe consider the amount of time per day or per week that you're NOT acting out, planning to act out, or thinking about acting out. Follow me here, let's say in an average day old me would think about sex explicitly 5-7 times a day. Sometimes I'd actually get onto a device and look at porn or sexually charged material 1-2:times (normal) or even 3-7 times (rare/exceptional). Then, there's the acting out itself. For me, PMO or MO was a fast and dirty secret pleasure. 2-30 minutes tops and I would frantically seek out the perfect scenarios and scenes to get off to. Often mimicking done thought I had that manifested in real life. So in an average day I might've thought about sex explicitly, or planned to escape and act out and eventually acted out for anywhere from 20 minutes to a couple hours a day. EVERY DAY. Now...I'm rarely consumed by thoughts that aren't "healthy" . Definitely don't regret looking at my wife and wanting her or thinking about her. Occasionally, sure I see a woman IRL that I "notice" but I don't think i take that too far down the slippery slope of visualizing, fantasizing,etc any more. At least I can say that's super rare. As for acting out...a bad day might only be a one-time quickie. Orca few. But I'm so ridden with guilt it's always fast and barely enjoyable. So now in an average month... Perhaps 2 relapses, 2 hours ( that's a stretch maybe) total of going back to "That Guy". That's a win in my book. And as the streaks get longer, the acting out has become less enjoyable, more just compulsive and fast and guilt ridden and just plain meaningless. Meaning, I think, I am nearly done going back. Especially if I can find some other pleasures in life to replace that need. So to sum it up...how much less are you living the old ways versus the new ways - and more importantly is your conscious self actively fighting the urges and trying to be clean? As long as we're trying, we're winning.... BC
MANY MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO GOD HAVE A GIFT FOR YOU ......... IF YOU WANT TO SEE THAT GIFT JUST GO IN FRONT OF MIRROR Good life!!
Fellow 2021 Challengers - I read this on another group and think it is a very helpful summary. I plan on reading it daily to reaffirm my commitment to stay clean.
Day 36 - P images crossing my mind today. Need to refocus. My attention span problem is bad right now blinking every two minutes and addict brain is winning the battle. Thoughts fixating on objectified body parts that I just want to look at on screen. I should be working but maybe I'll just go out for a walk. Change the setting. Stay strong.
