The START 2021 STRONGER Challenge [CLOSED]

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by BrohkenCompass, Sep 3, 2020.

  1. BrohkenCompass

    BrohkenCompass Fapstronaut

    Man this is awesome! How are you getting along this weekend? Everything okay?

    Tessa! Congrats man. I've been there as many too. I gave up. I regret it more than anything. Hold on to it with everything you've got.

    I agree 100%. Something about day 1 complete, and day 7.
     
  2. BrohkenCompass

    BrohkenCompass Fapstronaut

    It's okay brothers. Really need to focus on getting through Sunday. Having no more relapse today. Put it behind you completely. Take a shower. Wash it away. Meditate on flushing it away.

    You can be here tomorrow working on day 2; if you just hold back those urges. Fight it.
     
    gegenavenger likes this.
  3. BrohkenCompass

    BrohkenCompass Fapstronaut

    Hi all. I just want to leave a note for anybody who's contemplating where YOU are at on the leaderboard; many people come in and sign up for these in their first days here or back from a relapse. Some have joined and not replied.... meaning there's a big chance they went straight back to the relapse life or their old patterns.

    But if you're reading this...today...then you're still trying to be better. Some are doing great. Some, like myself are still struggling. The point here is to be our best heading into next year. If you have 1 or 15 "strikes" going into next year that just means your head was in the game and you are keeping score. Think about that...

    I went 30+ years without keeping score brothers. I was losing and didn't even know it.
    So get your head right and give it all you've got because you are here now...fighting.
     
  4. gegenavenger

    gegenavenger Fapstronaut

    Day 30. A milestone for me. Consistent regular slow improvements.
     
  5. A lot of comments here. Too many to respond to individually. Some people relapsing and/or struggling.

    I'll just say this.

    One of the best bits of advice I've heard has been just this: "Focus on the progress, not the gap".

    As @BrohkenCompass said, all the time we aren't even aware of the problem, is time we are losing.

    The fact that we are even here now, is a win. The fact that you are aware of the problem and working to correct it is a win.
    Focus on that more than the relapse or urges you're experiencing.
     
  6. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    Checking in, just hit day 100 today. Really helpful messages on this thread. Keep it up, stay strong!
     
  7. Schia

    Schia Fapstronaut

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    In a good place here. I’m definitely feeling the benefits of the process a little more now. Yesterday, I had the stamina to keep going for a couple of extra hours doing housework compared to any time in recent years, as I used to before I fell off the wagon. I think this must be my longest streak in two years, now. Today is day 59, so the next two days are milestone days - the big 60, and two calendar months.

    The urges seem to be massively reduced now, if at all. Some things which were triggers are now not having any effect. But I know this isn’t it. It carries on. Urges will return, be it when this flat spell is over, when I go through a period of stress, when I see certain images, even having certain clothes touch me. Whenever they appear, I need to remember that PMO is not the answer. It never was, and it never will be.
     
  8. BrohkenCompass

    BrohkenCompass Fapstronaut

    Proud of all these guys right here. 30 days! 60 days!

    100 days!!!!!

    Awesome stuff let's keep going. I made it through another weekend with nearly zero issues at all. I did have a few moments of desire with my wife that could lead to acting out, but remained completely in control.
     
  9. Gonna be honest. I had a wet dream. I don't count it as a strike, but it happened.

    I'm becoming more and more conscious of urges and my goals, even in my sleep.

    I was aware enough in the dream to remember that it was my intention not to do such a thing.
    This time I was only certain on that after ejaculation though.

    I've had dreams in which I managed not to ejaculate despite the urges, and "turn away".

    It's all good.

    Day 34: Keep going
     
  10. gegenavenger

    gegenavenger Fapstronaut

    Day 31. Love coming to this challenge and reading all the positive things, advices and seeing everyones progress.
     
  11. MountainSea

    MountainSea Fapstronaut

    For everyone finding success right now, what has been working for you?

    I feel like a lot of us struggle to get past the 14-30 day mark, but once you are there it becomes easier. This makes sense because it takes 30 days to create a new habit and right now we're fighting uphill against ingrained behavior and bad habits.

    So what helped you get past those initial 2 weeks?
     
  12. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    I have a list of "tools" that I draw on in response to various triggers or urges. And, I come to this site for inspiration and information. Previously, I posted (#820 on this group) an excellent summary here from another member that I read every day to reaffirm my intention. Check it out.
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2020
  13. gegenavenger

    gegenavenger Fapstronaut

    For me what worked was realising why and when i was doing PMO, i realised that i always do it when i am bored , that is i have nothing else to do. So i started keeping myself busy, and i also know that if i ever start thinking ybout something related to P , then i will never be able to stop myself and will definitely end up in PMO binge, so now i very strictly follow my thoughts and never think something that i am not supposed to.
    So, i would recommed paying attention to your own behaviour, and taking hints from it. All of us have some parts of this addiction that are unique to us, like triggers and such, and you have to know things that uniquely effect you so that you can make and implement a strategy against those things.
     
  14. espresso18

    espresso18 Fapstronaut

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    Day 27 in the books...

    Obsessive thoughts have plagued me lately. Not even because I am focusing on somebody, or something. They literally are dropping in on me super randomly. In traffic, at the gym, at the restaurant. I won't be focused on any kind of sex at all, and out of the blue, an obsessive thought, or euphoric recall will drop into my brain.

    I laughed at myself a little today, because I had to asked myself "What do you expect? You're only on day 27".

    So, it looks that I am right where I am supposed to be. A bit of a mess (ha!). I think this is better than trying to make this some groomed process, where everything is supposed to feel yippee skippy, and I am all better and no emotions over here, I got this.

    One statement I am borrowing from a different fellowship: "This too shall pass"

    I am really looking forward to gettin a month.

    Cheers,
    Tim
     
  15. Schia

    Schia Fapstronaut

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    For me, just knowing that I can’t go back to how I was living. The hiding things from my wife, the emptiness of the solo act, the fact I was doing it to get out of a low mood, but it was only adding to it. Reframing PMO and making any alternative option an improvement (which it is) really helped. I’d also recommend reading books or listening to audios with positive affirmations, it really boosts the self-belief when it has been lacking.
     
  16. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Stay strong. I'm a couple weeks ahead of you and I get a calm day or two and then a day (or two) of constant sex-related thoughts. Like you said, sometimes it is not even specific, just generalized waves of all things P, Psubs, etc. It can easily lead me to more specific thoughts and urges and to act out. But I have been able to stay clean. At least daily I read the summary I posted in #820 here. It helps me.
     
  17. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Solid post here from @BrohkenCompass. I'm 30+ years addicted to PMO too. In June of this year I joined this site. Have I been totally clean since that day in June? No. BUT in the last four months (120 days) I've not PMO'd on at least 100 days. Given that I was PMO 2x daily plus binges before nofap I feel like this is great progress. And so should anyone on here that is clean for even one day. One day clean is better than continuing daily addict behavior. Stay in the game everyone!
     

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