The START 2021 STRONGER Challenge [CLOSED]

Day 78: It's been a full week since I was on. Crazy week indeed!

Congrats to @Schia. Going strong with a baby on the way? That's a real feat!

Hear you on a lot of what you said. Spirit will wake us up sometimes, and call us to confront some things.

Challenging? Yes. Worth it? Yes. (In my experience)

102 days?! We could call it a big "OUCH" but it also sounds like a big "WOW!" to me
"Focus on the progress not the gap". 102 days...speechless.

The last quote speaks for itself. Congratulations on such decisiveness.
The resolve in your words is encouraging.

Relaxing? Good call. Just 3 weeks...Wow. Thank you for leading us. Let's finishing this out well, brother.

Yeah!
Thank you for being here. Seeing your lengthy streak has been encouraging.

For everyone/ anyone else, thank you for taking up this responsibility.
"Win, lose or draw", I see substantial honor in just taking up this challenge.
Ask for what you need to succeed.

Tired now. Let's keep going.

 

Day 78:
Urges. I need to be able to be both free and stay clean. I have to begin by believing I am.
Otherwise, I'll have to constantly keep busy and probably not even with what I want, to stay clean.

Tired. It's important to rest. Sometimes I skim right over real rest in place of something else, like low intensity actions.
Chores, cooking, computer work, or skimming the internet.
Must reel that in, that's a big part of what led me to getting so entangled with PMO to begin with.

Peace

 

Wouldn't call it a relapse, but I'm dangerously close.
Really toeing the edge here. Its wild that I can't seem to just close the screen.

But whether it happens or not, I'd rather be honest with it.
Trying to steer away and get out.
I just want to fap.

how's everyone else doing?

 

Day 87 - holding steady, things have been calm except for a couple of very vivid images that appeared upon awakening one morning. They vanished quickly, no dwelling on the image by my thoughts, or thinking more about P in general. I do think my brain is re-wiring a bit. In the past, such images would establish a new trail of thought upon which I would hike down creating lots of nasty scenery for myself and generating the subsequent urges. Perhaps the mindful meditations I have been listening to is helping to create new pathways for my addict brain that do not lead to darkness. Actually this is pretty amazing - I never imagined what a (working on it - not done yet) PMO-free mind would feel like. And I must always make this point - how I relate to my family especially wife has never been better. The feeling of inner calm allows me to interact in a manner of which I am proud - kind, thoughtful, compassionate - instead of brusque and selfish. Stay strong.

 

@BrohkenCompass Strike #5 and I'm out.

Will continue trying to close out this year strong and start the New Year off right with all of you. Even though I failed I look back at where I was in April and know I have come a long way. Thank you for all the help and guidance along the way fellas.

 

Assign me 1 strike @BrohkenCompass, and lets finish this year off well.

 

Baby arrived in the early hours of Wednesday morning UK time. Thanks for the lovely messages, everyone. Needless to say, thoughts of PMO are nowhere to be seen right now. Much bigger issues to deal with.

 

Assign me a strike, relapsed after 190 days.

 

Congratulations

 

Streak of 190 is something.

 

I passed through the 90-day gateway...

 

Yes, hardmode, baby!

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