The story of my problems (and my life) - in a nutshell

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Aug 28, 2018.

  1. [English isn't my first language, I apologize in advance for possible grammar mistakes.]

    So here I am, finally writing my first post on this website. I've been visiting it for a long time just for the "Panic Button" feature, not giving much credit to the forum, but now I feel the need to tell you guys my story, for those who would like to read it and eventually help me out.

    I'm L, and I'm 21. I've always been a good kid, everyone used to love me when I was at elementary school and I had lots of friends. Then middle school came and everything started to kinda fall apart. Of course that's the worst age possible (11-14), and I started having lots of personal problems for a series of reasons (this is not the place to talk about them). The results? Shyness, social anxiety and no self-confidence at all. Of course this is also the age when you get to know porn. For an insecure guy, that's very dangerous: I started not to hang out anymore, playing with my PC or Xbox everyday and waching porn/going to public webcam websites to do you know what.

    That ended up destroying my social life completely. I spent my five years of high school hanging out with literally 2 friends and one of them even "betrayed" me eventually.

    I'm now studying at the university and I've overcome every personal problem (with the help of a psychologist); besides I've now met really good friends I can rely on and I'm super happy about that.

    But there's something that's tearing me apart: I'm still a virgin. I know that it's not that big of deal, I'm still young after all; but that leads to a strong sexual desire and how can you please it? Well, porn and masturbation are just around the corner.
    My biggest problem is that I'm still quite shy, and I can't make the first move when it comes to girls. I feel terrible for wasting many time of my life just jerking off instead of taking action and because I wasted so many occasions to meet girls, so that's the reason why I decided to start writing here on the forum.
    I bear a big burden deep inside of me because I'm ashamed as hell to tell people I'm still a virgin, and that keeps me from actually flirting with a girl due to my total lack of experience and fear of being rejected. I now want to start a new life, trying quitting masturbation and porn to give myself a boost in self-confidence, but still I bear that burden inside of me.

    What do you guys think I should do? Anyone has/had the same problem?
    bobbyfunland likes this.
  2. bobbyfunland

    bobbyfunland Fapstronaut

    Hey man, I get where you are coming from. It sounds to me like you have a big piece of the solution around right now...your friends. Get together with them and go to a party or 2..or a social gathering..doesn't have to be a party. maybe figure out where that girl parties at (avoiding being stockerish of course lol) and work out a plan with your homies to get the girl. A little liquid courage wouldn't hurt either....a little lol... It's great that you see the issue in watching so early in your life...I wish I found this site as early as you man I'm struggling with porn myself (obviously lol) porn won't help you get the girl but most importantly it won't help you keep the girl at all. Stay strong in your fight against porn man... You're already of to a great start
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Cloptor74

    Cloptor74 New Fapstronaut

    When it comes to girls, the best advice i can give is to just nut up and say something to them. I know its not an easy thing to do but you just have to keep putting yourself out there, every time ive been rejected i always look back and am still glad i tried instead of doing nothing. Getting rejected is a part of life and despite how heartbreaking or embarrasing it might be, its bound to happen sometimes, and having it happen will, in the long run, be beneficial. Try to socialize with females as much as you can, it doesnt have to be a sexual thing, just talk to them and get to know them. The more girls you talk to the easier itll get. And if you dont already, try to maintain eye contact with them, no matter how you may be feeling, eye contact is a sign of confidence and itll show to whoever youre talking to, and people tend to be attracted towards confidence.
    Deleted Account and bobbyfunland like this.

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