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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by Invincible Under The Sun, Mar 11, 2019.
Day one done.
I changed my badge to "private goal", because I need to work on something that is crucial for my recovery AND my daily life.
Nonetheless I'm continuing here like before. My last reset was yesterday (Wednesday) evening.
I try to take hard mode more seriously now. Since MO + fantasy has broken my neck. However "no porn" is the most important mode.
Going old school
Check Day 1 what will Happen in training?
101 - 118 Check-in!
Check-in counter: 93 - started on Day 26
easy so far-my last streak was 70 days it only got really difficult for me between 60-70 days my target this time is 100 days +.The day I did PMO next day I felt mind anxiety, depression,weakness in the gym, low motivation, lower self esteem, lower confidence, my joints also started feeling weaker and more clickly when lifting weights and recovery time slowed down slightly between training sessions and recovery.On my PMO I PMO'd twice but I did it also to see the effects (almost like an experiment) I really want to start meeting new women and being able to be my most confident self so my goal is to just quit watching that shit and get sex from beautiful women, sometimes I dont understand like I've been called good looking throughout my life but as a male I feel it doesn't matter how good looking or jacked you are it's not the main thing women are looking-during my streak I also got slightly more female attention but nothing really materialised same as usual like I dont really know what to say to them etc as Im usually stuck inside my head any help things to do is appreciated!!?
Let's go day 7!
I noticed that as soon as I slip into using I don't see a way out anymore. I can see myself loosing it, but I'm not willing to stop myself. Willpower wanes and the idea of stopping when I'm already deep in the relapse-process feels as it would be incredible painful. I don't have the guts to embrace that kind of pain. Yet.
As much as I like to say that I won't go there anymore, chances are I'll go there again someday. So I need to learn to stop at any given point.
Therefor I think it is helpful to see my main streak in a more flexible way. Not that it would be ok to look at some porn or do "a little bit" of edging. But IF something happen, instead of letting myself down I need to see the positive chance: now I can prove that I'm about to change completely I can still save my streak and more importantly: myself.
Again, I don't plan on cheating. And I'll be 100% accountable about everything that happens concerning my streak. But I need a change of mind.
When the "porn mind" gains the upper hand, the conscience and all complex rational thought are diminished. But nevertheless deep inside I know what is happening. While this is an extremely difficult time to make a good decision I believe that it's possible to do a sudden move to crush down the slobbering porn mind and the whole set-up. Like when you have problems to get out of bed and suddenly you jump out of bed, without even thinking, following an inner impulse.
Day 5 checking in!
Closing out 21 days tonight. 3 whole weeks, and the longest I've ever gone. Still going strong. Let's do this!
on a side note, I think the trackers are broken.
Reporting in day 10
why I can't seem to look at my counter?
Achieved Day 4..waiting for next
I hope it is OK that in 1 week I travel overseas for 3 weeks and will be out of touch I think with everything although continuing my pledges and practices. Working carefully on Monk mode
Day 45 here!
IM FEELING SUPER SAIYAN BOYSSS!
Alright checking in for day 10, I’ve made it further than before this time and so far no problems moving forwards. I noticed that while my emotional state fluctuates it still remains better than if I was still fapping daily, a quick jolt of pleasure means nothing if it doesn’t solve the problem or even last that long, I’d much rather get my pleasure from something valuable, healthy, and that’ll last long term. Lets keep going!
I took a break from the internet for the past month. Have been able to keep up the streak!!
Checking in day 66! Plz update my rank in the list.