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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by Deleted Account, Mar 11, 2019.
Day 44, It is becoming difficult now. But I won't give up
Day 191 here.
Still going strong. One thing I became aware of recently is that being PMO free guarantees a bundle of benefits. I am clear headed and a can try attitude, I give my best and I become more successful at what I do. I am more interested in other people and engage in conversation with them and manage to entertain a respectful but relaxed conversation. Because I am relaxed and good at what I do, people start to trust me more and that makes connections to solve problems faster. It's like a virtuous circle and it can only be put in motion by stopping this drug and plague.
Stay strong everyone, one day at a time!
Hey @CraigJones, what's the struggle?
If you feel something is off, now is the time to act. The desire is easier to curb when it's just a spark, too late when it's become a blazing fire.
I fell today
I peeked at P yesterday but I stopped.
I did M afterwards without P, thinking about a girl that I like.
Less bad definitely but still does not help with recovery so I restart the counter.
P.S. Being alone at home increases chances of failure. I will think about some way to counter this.
Day 20 saiyans
Been feeling a little down, but it hasn't stopped me. Its the ability to never give up and keep going, even in our darkest times that makes us strong. Keep training, keep fighting!
Day 9 no porn.
I have not looked at any porn or subs now for 9 days.
Attended in person men’s dinner & fellowship meeting last night. Very grateful to connect with brothers who are in this with common goals. Got back to the metro late tho and last bus was on skeleton schedule at that point. so I skateboarded 3 miles from station through downtown and up the river trail from station. Felt good but also tiring. Got in late very sweaty and almost abandoned digital sunset/PM protocol. I can see how easy it is to slip back into that old pattern esp when I am tired.
As long as I don’t look at porn I am winning life. This is my agreement with higher self and God. I will not go back to that old life any longer.
I did however sit down in shower and start to fall asleep, then did M/O. I felt myself wanting to hide that so I decided to be honest and open
This was my favourite cartoon in my childhood..
Day 192 for me. Went to the gym again, didn't do a whole lot, but tiredness is creeping up. Will go to bed early today to get one more hour of sleep in.
The devil inside me is pushing me to give up, these days I'm feeling very dry, feeling less motivated, struggling with sleep, I don't know what's going on. The only thing which keeps me in line is the fact that I don't want to start again from Day 0. Hoping to see the light in darkness soon..
Day 45..posting an increment on day count everyday strengthens my faith in myself-> I Can Do It.
Hi @CraigJones, yeah I feel your pain. You have reached a good streak and don't want to waste the effort, but in the same time there is some pull towards the old habits.
I had similar reactions around the end of the second month of abstinence, this is absolutely normal. This a sign that the addict self is testing you. Your abstinence is working, and the addict is reacting. This could be a turning point to free yourself a little more from these urges.
It's tricky a one, but what I would say is to not rely on your will. This doesn't work most of the time. It is better just to distance yourself from the source of the urge.
Just go to sleep early for a few days. You may have work o do or don't want to waste waking hours, but trust me, getting away from the source of urges and a few additional hours of sleep will benefit you. Drink a warm cup of milk or tea and just end your day early.
Good luck, one day at a time!
Some months ago I heard two coworkers talking about tobaco. One of them said that he only smoke on parties. The other got impressed because he stop smoking but he knows that if he touch a cigarette can fall into the addiction again. The difference? One is an addict and the other don't.
While others can watch porn and masturbate from time to time without affecting their lives, I can't, if I masturbate or watch porn immediately a binging process starts and can pass years until I get the strength to break the circle again. So, I cannot watch porn or masturbate ever. I cannot ogle women on the street. I cannot watch tits on the beach. I cannot watch a women sitting on the bus with a skirt that suddenly reveals her panties. Any of such events can cause an excuse for me to masturbate and begin the never ending binging cycle. So if a girl sits in front of me with a skirt with visible panties I must even if I'm really sorry to move my sight to another direction, this is also what a respectable man (the one I want to be) is supposed to do.
I can pass in front a liquor store and watch the bottles without affecting me in any sense. An alcoholic cannot do that. It is the same. I must know my limitations and if I want to have the live I want, I need to make sacrifices. Sorry pretty passing by women.
Day 8 of No PMO, day 1 of 75 Hard day's challenge.
Day 1 complete.
My first step towards Elite Warrior
Stayed up late using the computer yesterday and relapsed.