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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by Deleted Account, Mar 11, 2019.
Checking in for day 19!
Read this awesome story and have a laugh:
Got lectured about porn by a female friend!
As a teaser I'll just post the beginning of the story here:
So last night I was relapsing, have been doing it badly for the last 3-4 months. And I get a message from a female friend of mine because she's going to a sauna with her boyfriend and is freaking out about how she will look in her bikini. I reply to her messages saying 'stop freaking out, it's fine' then she send a picture of her in a bikini.
I'm ignoring it because I'm trying to jerk off then she says 'open me' as in click on the messenger bubble to open it. At that point my mood is gone.
Not because my friends isn't fit but because I don't want to jerk off over a close friend (she's super promiscuous but she's still a friend and I find that kinda weird and pathetic, not that watching porn isn't pathetic but don't need to stoop any lower).
So I stop jerking off and tell her she looks totally fine. And she says 'you're my only guy friend who hasn't made a wanking joke about it' and I say something like 'I was trying to wank but you kept disturbing me so the mood is gone now'.
she laughs about and keeps messaging throughout the night to try to disturb me from wanking.
My god the struggle only grows it seems. Currently, I believe I am losing my mind and really just want to flatline already. The worst part is Ive flatlined in the emotional sense and yet not the sexual sense so its pretty fuggin painful right now. I even became doubtful and searched up whether porn really was that detrimental and well, the answer is of course it is. I've made it this far and I absolutely cannot give up yet, I can do this! I am going to start watching videos about rebooting and self-improving in order to lift myself further.
I WILL REACH DAY 30 AND EVEN FURTHER BEYOND!
Hey guys. I am deciding to join this challenge. I am currently at day 0 and I hope to become ultra instinct one day. @Invincible Under The Sun
Also, I am trying to get better self discipline with cold showers.
Day 0 of f*ing HARD MODE.
I have a crush on a girl I work with. Something which developed over time. It's ok. I don't feel like I have any chance and I don't dare to make any move on her. It's ok.
I'm a human, so I feel lonely, I fantasize, I idolize, I fall in love. I don't think I would have any feelings for her, if I hadn't go that path down (of thinking about her, arousal, fantasizing). I don't need to regret that. I know now that I like that ***** (yes, she's a difficult one. And I mean it in a wearmhearted way) and I know that I would love to get more close with her.
But arousal and fantasizing won't help me there!
In the contrary, I need to stop that now. I can't afford arousal and fantasizing in my reboot. I need to keep my brain clear from that.
I'll try to give myself some understanding and self-love but it's important that I don't engage in any fantasizing.
The only way I can get something out of this (my crush) is by rebooting properly. I don't know if it will be her or another woman, but it's definitely going to happen: I will get over my loneliness, my depression, my self-loathing and I will be close to her. I can get over the gap, but I need to do this seriously. I must focus on myself first, allow myself to let it all behind and get done with it.
Kinda like i feel in General, i dont have crush or anything right now, but goddamnit do i at least want to function first before attempting something with some one else. Worst thing i used to have was meeting someone then fantizising about the person, even when i didnt want it.
So yeah i think you are really on to something, Good luck to you!
Day 13 Check in!
@Invincible Under The Sun
Count me in!
Thank you! This really was an important post to me.
The thing is to have crush on sb and falling in love is just our nature. And it's in general not an unhealthy thing. Of course fantasizing comes (easily) with the package and we might go a little crazy because of our feelings. Sometimes it's even necessary to fall "out of the box" so to speak, to get these things: love, sex, a partner, intimacy ...
Therefor I didn't want to be judgy. But I had also to see the reality of my addiction, my unhealthy lifestyle and my resulting shyness or even anxiety.
Let's say I appreciate the blossoms of romantic love in the muddy water. But I decided to pour out the whole pot of muddy water.
Destroy what destroys You!
Day 17. My dirty thoughts are getting less and less common as well as less dirty. Soon I am going to flatline, I can feel it, and when I do this'll be a helluva lot easier. I've got a ton of crushes on girls at my school but after watching a couple of videos by Universal Man I realize that I need to fix myself in order to love any of those girls properly. I am no longer doing this just for myself, I am doing this for them, I am doing this for everyone! I've spent so much time improving my looks that I never focused on improving my mind, with this newfound drive I can take this above and beyond!
Day 1 Check in!
Hi I would like to join. Please count me in. I'm on the first days.
Day 0 - Low-Class Warrior check in