THE SUPER SAIYAN CHALLENGE! What is your Power Level?! (RANKS ARE BACK, GET YOURS NOW!

Day 4 check in

 

Day 0 pmosemen retention

relapse darn. Sighs. Masturbated yesterday with a retrograde ejacultion and spermatorrhea just now. Dreamt of some past interest not even my partner. Bleh

I think I need to live somewhat extreme. Like not just pmos but no swearing entertaining ideas of tattoos piercing nno sweets deep fried food or red meat no spicy food at dinner time uhm continue with no social media don’t look at images of women before bed this includes shopping on Amazon only shop on Amazon once a week like on fridays

uhm

I have to sleep in boxers only every night or my body gets too hot and it dramatically increases wet dreams risk also no holding a pillow at night as that can lead to unconscious humping of the pillow and wet dreams.

I’ll always remember my partner too so I don’t think about other girls

she’s supportive of my nofap streak and doesn’t ask that I ejaculate for her

we’ve been dating a month exclusively and she wants to wait eight months to have sex

I wanted to wait four when we met

now I’m down to wait eight with her it’s really not long in the scope of things but like I think I need to stop like sexting her. At least no swearing or talking about things we aren’t currently permitted to do which is basically just first base.

sorry if that’s tmi

I’m trying to not beat myself up over failing on this streak

just

fail fail again

fail better

it was the heat

yeah

I did so much Japa

I need to read

dhammapada

and Brahmacharya

just a couple pages each

minimum

per day

stay cool

no spice at night

no swearing

no sexting past

what’s allowed at

present

finish 20m

zazen a day

Not just a day

every morning

even if it means

not training

not eating

not sleeping

no water

I will get up and

post to here

read dhammapada and Brahmacharya

zazen and then

water

train etc

ah

I really am bummed

darn yar

punarmamaitu indriyam

oh sun! Let my lost strength

be returned

sorry I take up so much space with these posts =_= Gomenasai

I miss my Akachan . -_-

space is tough

I want to see her as often as possible but

we need the space

we’re just getting to

know each other as partners

I hate opening up sometimes

but maybe it’s good

my old friend told me I need to share

at like AA and I guess maybe

that’ll carry over into nofap too

I don’t like that I’m so

anxious and scared about everything

maybe I can just start

being courageous

and think

“I maintain semen retention.”

I am courageous

I always remember My partner

siez

what went wrong? Idk. I feel like I need to draw anime. Like male characters so it’s not triggering. And just keep my sleep schedule. Sleep by ten. Yeah. I was so hot last night idk why. It was just hot. Different. Interesting. Also I saw images of women as I browsed Amazon for stuff at night also I used my phone in bed. I wish I could just like maintain streak without all these little limitations but they seriously add up to make or break the streak

alright

let’s get down to essentials

Affirm those new three

delete two old ones

Post read zazen every morning

wear boxers to sleep

Throw away tattoo pens

ah

at least put away pens

uhm

no swearing

no matter what

don’t ejaculate

maintain semen retention

don’t masturbate

don’t make physical contact in fantasizing

don’t fantasize

thinking about touching her led to

masturbatinf

still talking to her in

your head seems to be ok

or good

visualizing you two

not touching in memories is

probably ok

but no touching

just no touching

no touching

well

no use crying over spilt …….

hehe

I like this site

It’s helped me maintain my only streaks

basically ever

I do my best

it’s more challenging now that

I have a partner

and we’re figuring out our boundaries

But she’s special

like

if any other girl

caused me to relapse

I would’ve left

immediately

but I’m staying with her

and trying to figure out

how to do retention

together

she’s on board with nofap so

it’s cool

she’s currently quit porn

and is talking about

stopping masturbating

We’re being more gentle in how

we touch too

no choking or slapping

and I don’t swear

I honestly would prefer to try

not doing oral or anal when the

time comes

just first second and home base

okay

guess it’s time to get back into

bed

see you tomorrow Z Warriors

WE GOT THIS!

 

Also

I am not thinking about my

clients as friends anymore

I have one mom

and one friend

in my life

that’s it

eventually I’ll have a good

guy friend

that’s it for now

everyone else are

colleagues associates

acquaintances

clients

 

Well

I messed up and got mad at my girlfriend

-__-

Then she broke up with me over text

She'll come back though

I'm gonna sk her to affirm 25 times each

I believe (my name which I'll denote as A)

I trust A

I will stay with A no matter what Inshallah

I have realistic expectations of A

and

I have faith A and I will be okay (Or something like this)




If I'm keeping my side of the street clean

I got angry

And I pushed it

And I got defensive

I could've just said

I'm angry now

I need to sweater (stop talking)

Till tomorrow

I don't want to reassure her

That's it

'I don't want to reassure you right now'

I'll get back to you when I feel like it


I'm gonna make an agreement to do about 48 hours response time






Anyways, we got this. We'll keep it together. The universe will help us stay together and stop fighting and just have rational discussions with eachotehr on a 20 minutes timer with the st francis prayer before hand eyes close. And we end after 20 minutes and have makeup text or makeup sexy time.

<3

I really love that girl though. And do feel we're meant to be together forever. Even if we've known eachother seven months. We're currently not even talking. She said 'I'm done don't talk to me forget about me we're not good for eachother and stuff like this last night. I'll be fine without you.

Yeah.

Even though in previous weeks she's said. I want to get married and have your children. You're the best I've ever had in every way. I love you so much. You're so handsome adorable sweet etc I want us to last. I feel like I'll die without you. I need you. I've never let myself care about someone this much. I've never acted this way. You're the first I've ever loved, cared, been in love with. It feels like I never loved before I met you. Like that was all puppy love and what we have is true love.

Me and you forever. We'll be together forever

=_=

She asks me for grace. I'll try to give it to her

Courteous good will

But she was setting unrealistic expectations. She said I need to not even have a fleeting thought about someone else. When IJ asked if she has fleeting thoughts she said yes she does.

She has unrealistic expectations of me. So I'm affirming mutually with her that she has relastic ones of me.

She expected me to do something that isn't humanly possible basically

-_-

 

Anyways I've said enough

I don't know why I post here honestly

I am Vegeta though

Push through the pain, giving up hurts more - Vegeta




I maintain semen retention

I main tain semen retention

I maintain semen retention

I don't swear

I don't swear

I don't swear

I don't judge

I don't judge I don't judge


I just don't know what to do to feel better. I've just been so angry and hurt lately.

It makes me want to cry and yell. And I don't do those things

I don't cry

I don't yell

I don't get angry

I don't fight

T.T

Why am I crying

I don't understand

I'm sorry

I want us to work

I don't know what to do to make it better

I think my discussion plan si good though

20m eyes closed makeup sexy time or text after.

20 e m

That pretty much solves the main issue

in our relationship

As well as those affirmations

I'd say we're good

And let her know the expectation for us is

dont go past a hug with others

and respond within 72 hours

I'd like it to be within a week but

I compromise

I'd be willing to make it

Down to 24 hours sometimes

But we don't talk on the phone

but for audio calls 1 hr a week

wednesdy at 6-730pm

no exceptions

no exceptions

no exceptions

we can text if she needs to or i do

but that's the only time we'll talk

on the phone during the week

and we meet on weekends if possible

that's it

I won't stay more than one nigth on

a weekend

we've known eachother

7 months

still nothing past first base

and we're not even bf gf

like what is this?

I'm letting her set the pace sexually

pushing her for sex is only messing

things up

I let her set the pace

I let her set the pace

I let her set the pace

And we are bf gf

we are bf gf

we are bf gf

We're going to make it

we're going to make it

we're going to make it

 

could someone say something kind to me please?

I could use some encouragement