THE SUPER SAIYAN CHALLENGE! What is your Power Level?! (RANKS ARE BACK, GET YOURS NOW!

On to day 7

 

Day 159!

 

Checking in Saiyan's!

38 Days Free of PMO.

Short bout with anxiety and lingering headache that resurfaced a bit. The temptation resurfaces in attempts to alleviate hardship, but I know it's all empty words.

Plan for today deep meditation, probably 2 sessions of 20-30 mins, exposure, reading and rest.

Keep training!


@Ender Atreides Congrats on ascending!

 

Checking in.
I came home a bit late yesterday. My mother was watching TV and I saw an actress that I think was involved into some sort of sex scandal.
I mindlessly looked it up, not with the intent to watch P, at least not consiously. A few sexually explicit articles came up (just text) and I skimmed through them.
Luckily I realised what I was doing was wrong and dangerous, quit the phone and shut it down. Even this minimal exposure was quite dangerous.

I noticed that if I return a bit late I'm not sleepy since I'm still energized by going out right before.
And then I want to pass the time a bit to calm down, so I'll watch some video on Youtube or / and eat.
Both not great. Also breaks my rule to turn the phone off at 10.
I need to find a way to handle such situations in a healthier way and protect myself. I'll be extra careful today as well.

@Servo_Operator The Mind Illuminated seems to be an interesting book. Judging just by the part you shared it seems to explain things in simple, intuitive ways.
@Redemptionisrequired What is this exposure training that you so often mention?

 

raise your like if some legend listen AP dhillion songs.

 

Day 19

Today alright but I felt better yesterday. I'm not too bad.

I might hit the gym after I write this or read up some more information here in the forums or do something else.

Yesterday, there was a new good looking lady including the body. Not sure about the face but it was ok. I didn't get a good look because I was looking away since it can be triggering. Same attractive woman with her friend & boyfriend from Day 7. I guess there they will be there every so often. Maybe even more. Damn she is attractive to look at it.

Apparently, I heard there was another woman but she is married that started showing up. I never saw her for awhile but I heard from the front desk guy telling she is showing up as well. Hmm for some reason I am not attracted to her when I look at her. I don't know why. Her body is pretty nice and somewhat slim but I am not attracted to her.

I have been wondering something about women, do women became less attractive when they MO or have sex? If anyone can answer this. Because I heard one man's point of view, you become less attractive when you release your semen through masturbation & watch porn or during sex. Basically, if a man practice PMO then they become less attractive.

Maybe that is why I might not be attracted to her because her and everyone is releasing their energy (orgasm).

I think I am slowly becoming attractive because of this no PMO journey. I think people especially woman might sense it a little more. But I still need to go on longer to see the effects though.

Seeing SR/NoFap videos on Youtube for inspiration and it is helping me.

Urges, not many with the exception in the end. Upon waking up, I had a dream about woman that I know of. I think it would have became a sexual dream if it went further because I saw myself touching her. Hmm maybe would have been a wet dream. Ironically, no pornographic images in my mind.

Before heading to bed, I came across woman online then suddenly I started to get hard. I became hard for her and I think I would have relapsed if I let it. It might have been enough to do the deed. I think it was due to water in my system. If you notice, if you have enough water in your system you can get horny from that condition. But I went to the bathroom and my hard on subsided but I still want to have sex. I believe it came back though and I went to bed with a hard on.

Nope, I resisted. This is still worth the effort.

I can talk more about this in another time but this is relative in other aspects in life. Not easy and you earn this.

All I have to say is fight! Just my advice when urges come. I will repeat over and over again. I am embracing it when it does happen for me.

Goku Black: "Remarkable! This pain shall make me even stronger..."


The movie is out already. I don't know when I will watch it but I am hype seeing this image. Son Gohan is still one of my favorites.
It's Final Gohan time!! Keep Training Saiyans!

 

Day 160!

 

Day 15!

 

Checking in Saiyan's!

39 Days Free of PMO.

Took it easy yesterday for half of the day, it was nice. Well rested today and ready to tackle another instance of workout/meditation/exposure and reading. Also a few chores to do. I will practice mindfulness in what I undertake.

Have a great weekend !

Keep training!

@Against_the_demon_in_myself Good question brother. What I mean by exposure, is expanding my comfort zone. Exposure to the things that makes me feel uneasy, fearful and anxious. The reasoning behind that, is to teach myself that I am capable. Honing the skill of courage in the face of uncertainty and discomfort. When we face our fears, big or small, there is a compound effect that occurs. It makes us braver and more confident on a larger scale. One day, I'll write a more detailed post about what these fears are and at that time hopefully from "are" it will be "were".

 

Checking in.
I have lately heard people expressing opinions on sex that I consider mad.
Namely that any kind of sexual behaviour is ok as long as there is consent.
I won't get into it but I can make up some thought experiments that are super disturbing.
And then I hear otherwise sane people saying, whats wrong with that?

Take for instance PMO. I still can't convince my friends that it is harmful. At best they will say it is harmful if you get addicted.
(Which disregards the fact that starting to use it makes you more likely to get addicted as well as many other things).

I understand that people get to choose what to do with their sex life. I understand that I can't dictate that. And that is good.
What I don't understand is how making assertions about good and bad came to be such a controversial thing to do.
How even the most depraved cases I could think of, damaging both individuals and social bonds are considered morally equivalent to a loving pair bond relationship.
How even the desire for creating a family (which is a human right btw) is treated with suspision and contempt by some people.

I feel I am going mad some times.
It gives me this Orwellian vibe of:
“War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.”

I'm sorry for the rant guys, I just really needed to vent. I'm not trying to make things political or start arguments.
It is just that some weird ideas have been imported from somewhere and things are changing for the worse, at least according to me.

 

Day 20

Woke up with 7 hours of sleep. Not bad.

Skipped the gym and hitting the gym later. Will try to read on here or something today.

Urges, not really many. But it happened again like yesterday. I came across a woman's social media page. As I was looking, all of her content was completely normal. But her last post was her wearing oversized t-shirt and her bottoms was exposed (not nude). Everything is normal but she had to throw in a sexy photo of herself. Very strange. Because of that I ended up getting a hard on from that. I wanted sex because of that.

Nope, I still resisted. Success.

Every day, I have to practice patience because I am impatient. Maybe being in SR/NoFap/No PMO made me a little more impatient. I have a long way to go.

I wanted to say more but now I forgot what to say. Maybe later I will write it here.

Moving along. Keep Training Saiyans!

 

Day 19

I almost forgot to check in, sorry.

 

Day 21

Just relaxing and waiting. Keep Training Saiyans!

 

Day 30, Oozaru level achieved!
Tomorrow I'll be ending my vacation and going back abroad for work.
Changing environments is a bit upsetting for me so I'll have to be extra vigilant the next days.
I want to continue on my no PMO path, it helps me be calm and peaceful, which I really appreciate.