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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by Deleted Account, Mar 11, 2019.
Do the same thing mindlessly falling back into bed or watching a YouTube video really quick, but realizing it is the first step I guess! Just takes building a new habit to replace the old one
Keep up the work brothers !
Made it to another evolution, can't stop now. Stick with it, ladies and gentlemen
65! I'm slowly increasing the time I meditate, and I look forward to the day when I wake up in Germany to sit on the cushion for a full hour. In the meantime, I'm working through this stage from The Mind Illuminated.
Yesterday was ok. Bored & lonely. "Mr. Lonely all on my own ohhh" from the song by Bobby Vinton or by Akon lol...that is the side of effect of this journey.
I dreamt of something before waking up and now I forgot. A lot in my mind and rants as well.
Feeling better today. Maybe because I had more sleep. SR/No PMO plus good sleep equals better good mood. Although I can get tick off for the smallest things during my semen retention journey. I feel good right now.
Urges, coming from some online but more in the mind. Flashes in my mind of pron scene. It was a woman in the past I saw online and scene I couldn't find. Not sure if I saved it or maybe saved in the websites but she was beautiful. Not going into details. It kept popping in my mind and saying "Where can I find that scene?" Oh well it is lost any way. Or maybe I might find it later unexpectedly...That is weird. I didn't look any pron in the real life so I'm fine.
Yesterday, I went to the groceries and saw a mature woman...(Yes no details & she is attractive lol). And another attractive one seems young early to late 20s years old woman. That could have been a bit triggering if I kept on checking them out. That's it.
Hitting the gym late tonight/early morning when many people aren't around. Of course, there will be at least one attractive woman again while I am working out when the gym is empty/dead. I am never wrong at this point. Geez. Busy times are an exception because they are always one or more that can tempt you. Still not going to get me to release & relapse.
Well one more day here in the West Coast until the DBS movie comes out. Keep training Saiyans!
Man, I hope the gym at the university I'll be going to isn't too occupied in the morning.
It depends on what time you go in the morning. It varies from gyms but in my gym the time I go isn't too occupied in the morning. I like it that way. Except for the fact now there is always one attractive lady present while I'm working out...lol. Not sure if it will happen for you & other members over here in this thread but it has been happening to me every single time I check in! Well all I can do is endure and not get triggered by them while they are there.
That's true. I remember getting up at five to go to the gym in undergrad and I still had trouble going from machine to machine. We'll see I guess.
MO'd phone sex this morning. Was satisfying, had fun, no shame or regret. I feel good.
She'll be with me next week and I'll get this streak to 400, you'll see
On to day 7
Day 1 check in
Checking in Saiyan's!
38 Days Free of PMO.
Short bout with anxiety and lingering headache that resurfaced a bit. The temptation resurfaces in attempts to alleviate hardship, but I know it's all empty words.
Plan for today deep meditation, probably 2 sessions of 20-30 mins, exposure, reading and rest.
@Ender Atreides Congrats on ascending!
I came home a bit late yesterday. My mother was watching TV and I saw an actress that I think was involved into some sort of sex scandal.
I mindlessly looked it up, not with the intent to watch P, at least not consiously. A few sexually explicit articles came up (just text) and I skimmed through them.
Luckily I realised what I was doing was wrong and dangerous, quit the phone and shut it down. Even this minimal exposure was quite dangerous.
I noticed that if I return a bit late I'm not sleepy since I'm still energized by going out right before.
And then I want to pass the time a bit to calm down, so I'll watch some video on Youtube or / and eat.
Both not great. Also breaks my rule to turn the phone off at 10.
I need to find a way to handle such situations in a healthier way and protect myself. I'll be extra careful today as well.
@Servo_Operator The Mind Illuminated seems to be an interesting book. Judging just by the part you shared it seems to explain things in simple, intuitive ways.
@Redemptionisrequired What is this exposure training that you so often mention?
Yes! It doesn’t just give you meditation advice- it proposes models of consciousness and experience that help with your practice. Right now I’m reading about a model that explains the interaction of unconscious processes with each other in the space of consciousness.