The Tartarian Journal - 5x5 Workout, Dieting, Cardio, Spiritual & Philosophical Journey

Preface: Let me know if this subforum is not the correct placement for my Journal. I figured that since this is a combination of the two SI sub categories, it may belong in the main.

Introduction:

• I've been going to the gym for perhaps 18 months at this point. I've made some significant progress in terms of strength, size, and weight. I will go into depth about this later.
  
• I've been on an up and down NoFap journey since 2018, streaks and all, but I don't focus on the number. Just how I feel at a given point in time.
  
• I have recently become extremely conscious of my diet. I have cut out many different foods and are on route to progress further to a clean and natural diet.
• I have a keen passion for cardio exercises.
• I am expanding my knowledge of the world through different books, concepts, and ideas.

All of the dot points above, I will go into depth about them below.

NoFap
I've been around these communities for quite some time now. This will be my 5th year of hanging around, developing knowledge and understanding, reading what some refer to as stories, anecdotes, journals, experiences. What I see here is a pattern. People recognise the problem, and experiment with science to figure out the problem. I am far from an experienced veteran, I do not profess to have 'streaks' of longevity. I do not PMO daily, I avoid all forms of hardcore P, however in the past (prior to 2018) I was engaged in the activity daily. My journey on NoFap has led me to posting this today, and the continuation of the journey I am proceeding to embark upon.

Dieting
I am fortunate to have come from a food conscious family. We have never been unhealthy eaters, avoiding commercial fast food and the likes. However, recently I have had the inclination to begin cutting down on my consumption of refined products. These include, but of course are not limited to:

• Packaged foods
• Deli meats
• Carbonated sugar drinks
• Sauces

Many of the foods that society consumes on a regular basis are processed and refined far beyond the point of what can be considered natural. Through each refinement, less and less nutrients are provided. With less nutrients provided, specifically micro nutrients, vital organs of the body (liver, specifically) work in overtime. Through this overtime, hyperstress is placed upon the organ to keep performing the same duty for a prolonged period of time. I do not believe that the rise in cancer, mental illnesses, and the other vast plethora of diseases, viruses, and illneses surrounding us in the world are any kind of coincidence.

I also avoid corn, due to its nature as being genetically modified beyond the point of healthy consumption. I avoid Pork, as it is an unhealthy meat and full of cancer inducing properties. I avoid almost all forms of fish, due to the unhealthy nature of the seas and commercial farming nowadays. Eating farmed fish which is loaded with heavy metals will only harm your organs further. I avoid eggs due to their role in empowering the strength of viruses already present within a body's ecosystem. Note: if I was free from all forms of virus I would consume eggs. It's a shame, eggs taste amazing and are packed with nutrients.

I am not to the point that I would like to be. For example, I still eat shellfish because I love the taste. I still eat red meat albiet occasionally, I still drink coffee. I have too much gluten and wheat, I consume slightly too much fat at the wrong times of the day (I would prefer to have the bulk of my fat at night). I can certainly cut back on refined sugar intake.

Cardio
Although I am committing to a 5x5 strength program, I am a fan of cardio. I love the feeling of moving through the streets during a run, sprinting down the road on my bike, the feeling of cold water on my skin as I swim. I refute the idea that cardio is detrimental to an ideal body, I love the feeling of being able to move with agility and grace. The feeling of cold air piercing the skin is exhilarating, and I emplore anybody embarking on any kind of journey to attempt movements such as long distance running.

It is my goal in this new journey to do cardio at least twice a week. Sometimes three times, if I'm up to it.

I am also heavily considering starting Kickboxing, because the Martial Arts have always attracted my interest. More to come on that in subsequent posts, presuming I go through with it. Note: I will place a high importance upon stretching, in order to prevent injury and retain the ability to transfer from lifting to cardio without a noticeable conflict of interest.

Philosophy:
As of semi-recently, I have been drawn to Philosophy, Financial Theory, Economics, Law, and Religion. I am expanding my world view with different concepts, such as Taoism. However, I have identified my favourite topic as Greco-Roman Philosophy. The men of this era were well beyond their time in terms of Stoicism and Plato's school.

Gym:
I have, until now, followed a program of 6x days per week (if I end up going), with moderate rates and reps of 8-12. This has put me in a good spot, for a beginner. However I don't see myself progressing as fast as I believe I should be in terms of strength gains. I do not care so much for the physical appeal, as I know that will come with patience, workout discipline, and a good diet without too much fat.

My PRs:
Bench: 80kg/176lbs x 2
Squat: 100kg/220lbs x 2 (I may be misremembering, but I think I hit this for 10 reps once)
Incline bench: 32.5kg/71lbs x 10 x 2 (dumbells)

I do not deadlift, and that's something I'm changing come my new program. I have a strong back relative to my other numbers, I.e. lat pull downs I'm pulling 60kg/132lbs per arm down.

New Program:

I'm fortunate to have met someone who passed me onto Elliot Hulse's "The Grow Stronger Method".

My structure will look as follows.
Monday

Squat 5x5
Bench Press 5x5
Weighted Chinups 5x5​

Wednesday

Squat 5x5
Overhead Press 5x5
Deadlift 5x5
Weighted dips 5x5​

Friday

Squat 5x5
Bench Press 5x5
Barbell Rows 5x5
​

I'm looking to utilizing Cardio and a sauna on my off days (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday/Sunday) for optimized fat loss.

I will post daily updates within this thread, and I implore you to share any comments, advice, tips. If you want to question me and my choices in diet, methods, and anything regarding that - go ahead. And don't hold back. We either walk away with our beliefs, or meet together with a developed understanding.

 

Thank you! I've been browsing around places for a while, I've got a lot more to write someday lol. The first time I deadlifted, albiet with absolutely horrible form and am lucky I didn't injure myself, was 100kg conventional. I think I'll start much lighter, though, around 50/60kg and build my way up with proper form. Bon Courage to your journey too, Cirilla.

 

Thank you, my friend. Gradual change of 'day to day', 'minute after minute' is far stronger than a massive upheval. I do not discount that sometimes a large, schocking and sudden change is sometimes applicable, but a smaller and consistent change is akin to a permanent one - in my humble opinion, anyway. It is arrogant to define anyone as an expert on a topic itself, for such a person only knows what they have experienced or learnt up to that current moment.

It is that philosophy from which an idea such as NoFap occurs, perhaps and hopefully one day in the future, P and M will be considered taboo, and all of the professed 'doctors' who are experts in 'sexual health' will now preach their new truth.

I am excited to start my journey tomorrow, but I know I will need discipline, patience, will power, an open mind, and a great deal of respect to give to me and my future self.

 

9/5/22 (5/9/22 for the Americans).

Time for my first update. It's only 6PM here and I would prefer to do it last thing of my day, but fuck it, I'm excited.

I am disappointed to report that I was out of bed at relatively late time, 9AM roughly. This was because of my bad choice in procrastinating an assignment to finish last night, but the assignment got done, and I'm happy with the quality, so all in all, worser outcomes could be present.

Food/Diet
Today I've eaten fairly well, although in hindsight I should have consumed more water, and I will make it a point to do so after I'm done writing this up. It should be my goal to go through 3L of water/day, if not more. I took Zinc, Vitamin C, Vitamin B, and Magnesium tablets with my morning fruit. Combined with this, I took Spirulina, Barley Grass powder, L-Lysine (because my hemp protein lacks this vital amino acid in quantifiable amounts), and dulse flakes. For lunch, I used celery, onion, shallot, carrot, green sweet peppers, red kidney beans, chickpea, lemon & lime juice, S&P in a stir fry and served like that. Great source of both proteins and carbs as a vegan option, and to add any fat to that you can put fresh avocado and olive oil on top of the finished product. I had this with some smoked salmon slices, as I do not profess to be a vegan. It was extremely filling and healthy, a perfect clean bulking meal for lunch. However, in that stir fry I prefer to use black beans, and next time I cook the dish I would like to experiment with putting brown rice in the meal. But that is a few days away now, because I deciced to cook this meal in bulk to save myself future time.

At dinner I just had some homecooked pasta with basic beef ragu, not the healthiest option however filling and relatively okay.

The last thing left for me to have is my Protein Powder (more), and my Creatine Micronised Monohydrate. Perhaps a herbal tea, if I feel like it, but before all of that I'll have more water to compensate.

Gym
First day at the gym on the new program. It went as follows:

Bench​

1x5 - Bar weight, 20kg
1x5 - 40kg (last warmup)
1x5 - 60kg
1x5 - 65kg
2x5 - 70kg
2x5 - 75kg

On friday, I think I can cut out the 60kg, because I ended up doing an extra set with that unnecessary build up. My form is fine until I get to 80kg. I'm thinking a bar weight warmup and then perhaps a 60kg warmup, then jump to 70kg 3x5 and 75kg 2x5.

Pullups​

Body weight close grip pullup - 5x5x5

However next time I'm going to try the wide grip pullup, but I might need the assistance of a machine to start with. What is the difference between close vs wide grip? I guess I will need to look into that.

Squats​

1x5 - Bar weight, 20kg
1x5 - 40kg
5x5 - 60kg

I could have gone heavier, however especially with the squats, I must perfect my form in order to prevent further lower back injury. I do not possess a belt with which I can protect my back, thus that is my next investment gym-wise.

I must profess, I did not stretch today like I had planned to, it was far too busy in the gym and there was no breathing room. I will do so next time I go in, that is a promise to myself.

The remainder of my night, I will be reading Letters from a Stoic, by Luca Seneca. Lots of profound wisdom found in the book, however I note that many of the letters are not included in the Penguin Classics edition. I wonder why that is? This is now the sign of an unstable attention span, however I cannot wait to finish this book so that I can move onto The Richest Man in Babylon, a modern classic. And Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius after that. But I need to focus on Seneca, and comprehend it before I rush away.

I leave this update here with my favourite current quote from Plato, in The Republic.

Cephalus says to Socrates: "For some of us old men often meet together, like the proverbial birds of a feather. And when we do meet, most of them are full of woes; they hanker for the pleasures of their youth, remembering how they used to make love and drink... But in my opinion, Socrates, they are putting the blame in the wrong place... For example, I was once present when someone was asking the poet Sophocles about sex, and whether he was still able to make love to a woman. To which he replied 'Don't talk about that, I am glad to have left it behind me and escaped from a fierce and frenzied master'".

 

10/5/22 (5/10/22 for the Americans)

Weight at the beginning of the day: 81.6kg
Weight at the end of the day: 82.6kg

Today was best defined as a quiet day, only 4 hours of law school at mid-day. As promised, I went to the gym on my off day for the sauna, yet I am disappointed to report that I did not run as I intended, I was too sore (surprisingly) from the squats yesterday. This is a shock to me, because it's far from my max rep. However, I can in hindsight, attribute the pain to doing squats for the first time in a few weeks, and contributed to by my controlled and more deliberate range of motion, as opposed to explosive. As I noted yesterday, stretching will be my friend here and it is an exercise which I will endeavour to commence tomorrow.

I spend perhaps, 10 or 20 minutes today, searching for the differences between close grip and wide (which I will now refer to as the traditional grip, thanks research) grip pullups. As it turns out, close grip is an easier exercise as it activates the back, shoulders (to a lesser extent), biceps (however, not as much as a palm facing towards oneself grip would), and the upper chest. Activating both the back and chest result in an easier workout. The traditional grip, as opposed to this, more activate the back and shoulders, with a small activation in the biceps. I feel validated in my choice to pursue the traditional grip, as it is back intensive.

I further spent the evening hours in the library, studying and getting up to speed on one of my classes. I however, was a little distracted on my phone messaging friends whilst I undertook my evening study, but I digress because it was a reasonably successful study session in its entirety. I will return tomorrow night to pick up where I left off after work, to tie up loose ends and catch up to the week of work. From then on, I will be in a beneficial position to begin planning, and perhaps working, on my final assignment with confidence.

I did not find the time to commit to reading philosophy as I wished to, however that fault is mine and it is one that will be rectified.

I note that today I am starting to notice sexual urgings, not enough to require discipline and vigilence to quell, however its a interesting observation to make. I will monitor this, and attempt to bring my thoughts back into harmony should they stray from my goal of healthy living. I will not spill my creative (sexual) energy like the system wants me to.

Tomorrow I must take due care to eat cleaner meals that are easier on digestion. I have not consumed my protein powder today because I am bloated, curtosy of my extremely meat heavy lunch and dinner (at expense of vegetables). I'm not angry at myself, I must respect that I am the architect of my situation, which also means that I have the power to bring this back to equilibrium in due time.

I don't have a quote for this update, unfortunately.

 

11/5/22 (5/11/22 for the Americans)

Weight at the beginning of the day: 82.5kg
Weight at the end of the day: 83.2kg

This is fascinating to note. I must be blocked up to be keeping all this food in me.

I have to confess that I'm not in the mood for a Wall of Text this evening, so I'll just post my gym results.

Overhead Press
1x10 - bar weight (20kg) warmup
1x10 - 30kg
1x5 - 40kg
2x5 - 50kg
2x5 - 55kg

I really felt it on this exercise today.

Dips
5x5 - Body weight

These were painful. Can't wait to do them again. Saw some chains lying around that I can use as added weight in the future, over my shoulders.

Deadlift
3x5 - 40kg
3x5 - 60kg

Did an extra set just because I loved the exercise, but today I was just trying to perfect my form.

Squats
1x5 - 40kg
4x5 - 60kg

These finished me, I was still sore from Monday and today it was quite frankly, grim. But I did it and will up the weight come friday.

That's all for today. I finished my studies I promised to do, worked, and now I'm exhausted.

 

Feeling under the weather today and last night.

Chest
1x10 - bar weight
1x5 - 60kg warmup
1x5 - 65kg
1x5 - 70kg
1x5 - 75kg
2x5 - 80kg

Rows
1x10 - bar weight
1x5 - 40kg
1x5 - 60kg
1x5 - 80kg (bad form, so I dropped back down)
2x5 - 60kg

Squats
1x5 - bar weight
1x5 - 40kg
4x5 - 60kg

Hamstrings were tight, I didn't want to risk injury by going over the top just yet. The weekend will be good recovery.

 

Quite possibly! I'm also noting a general dehydration throughout the days despite high water intake.
& thank you.

 

Bench
1x5 - Bar weight, 20kg
1x5 - 60kg
1x5 - 70kg
2x5 - 80kg
Failed on the last rep of the second 80kg set.
1x10 - 60kg deload set

Pullups
Body weight wider grip pullup - 5x5

Squats
1x5 - Bar weight, 20kg
1x5 - 40kg
1x5 - 60kg
4x5 - 80kg

Felt good. Painful.

But I haven't been feeling myself the last few dreams. Strange dreams, strange body reactions. Still going strong NoFap wise, perhaps I'm experiencing some kind of detox/reset. Didn't take weight measurements today.

 

Disappointed to report I've experienced a setback regarding NoFap.
Today I got roughly 4 hours of sleep overnight, early shift for work. Went to the gym after.

Overhead Press
1x5 - 40kg
1x5 - 50kg
3x5 - 55kg

Dips
5x5 - Body weight + chains ~5kg

Even more painful than before. I love this exercise.

Deadlift
1x5 - bar weight
1x5 - 60kg
1x5 - 80kg
3x5 - 100kg

I surprised myself today by pulling 100kg in such a manner as I did. I do not think my form was atrocious, it could have been better, certainly, but I'm proud of what I did there

Squats
1x5 - bar weight
1x5 - 40kg
4x5 - 60kg

Extremely sore from runs I did both yesterday and the day before (after that group of 80kg squats I did). Pulled it back today and kept the rhythm going.

 

Forgot to post last night.

Chest
1x10 - bar weight
1x5 - 40kg warmup
1x5 - 60kg
1x5 - 70kg
1x5 - 75kg
2x5 - 80kg

Rows
1x10 - bar weight
1x5 - 40kg
2x5 - 60kg
2x5 - 70kg

Squats
1x5 - bar weight
1x5 - 60kg
4x5 - 80kg

 

Been seriously under the weather yesterday and today. Didn't go to the gym.
Considering doing a Tue-Thurs-Sat split this week to still get my three days in and get that Sunday for recovery regardless. Will see how I feel tomorrow. I had a mid-day nap today and it helped me a lot, I sweated it out, surprisingly. Still coughing like a motherfucker. This isn't covid, because I've already been subject to the glorified flu.

I've been slacking on my philosophical readings, my university term is nearly done which gives me a lot of free time I don't need to be studying. Will try pick it back up soon.

 

Feeling a bit better today, I think the illness I'm just seeing the tail end of now was the Flu. This was a bastard of a virus this year. As much as I would love to go to the gym, I don't have the energy to push myself today. Instead I will use the remainder of this week to recover properly, do my University work, and get back into it next week.

I however, do think that I am spending too much time and am giving too much of myself to my casual job. This is an observation I've made in the past, long ago, but the situation changed and I went a while without much work, so when the opportunity presented itself, I picked up more thinking I can handle it. I however am starting to think it is not as worth it as I used to. This is something I will note going forward.

Having money is nice, my savings rate is something I'm proud of. I don't need to work as much as I do, my workplace needs me more than I need them. I'm not foolish enough to think I'm irreplaceable, after all it's only a low skill casual job, but my experience and tenure puts me above the average margin in & among casual employees of this industry.

Right now I feel very lost, lost in what I'm doing and where I'm going. I know how to change this though, which is why this feeling of loss is counter weighted and I feel overall strange. It's something only careful planning, action, and time will change. I must find my path and remain patient on it.

I weighed myself this morning, 79.6kg. Lost a fair bit this week, but I will make the smart decision to cut down on my fats and keep my protein and carbs up starting now, I can definitely use this as a weight redistribution opportunity.

 

That week was just not meant to be, apparently, I did not go to the gym. I will start again tomorrow but I will need to be mindful on the squatting, because I went for a run last night and jarred my already relatively weak ankles. I think I should be able to squat up to 60kg without relative harm, but I will see how it feels tomorrow.

I've made the decision to resume my studies into Latin via Duolingo. That application is amazing, I think 15 minutes of study per day over at minimum, a year, will develop my understanding of the language and the syntax of many words we use now. This study is pretty important to me, because in the legal language Latin words and phrases are pretty popular. It doesn't hurt that I'm a massive ancient history stan, and anything from the classical era I'm interested in. But I digress, it is my goal to do 15 minutes of Latin study per day. I may branch out into Italian ontop of that, but I have a solid grounding in Italian from past study and passive use over the years.

I weighed myself this morning, shocked to see 78.3kg. I still haven't got my appetite back in the evenings, but I'm not surprised because that always comes back slowly when I get sick like this. I will be interested to see what I weigh before I go to bed tonight, I will edit that into this post post-haste. Edit: 79.6kg

I am excited for tomorrow to go back to the gym and get back into my normal routine. However I must drink more water, I must force a greater degree of hydration into my body if I want to feel good on a day to day basis.

That's all for today.

 

30/5/22

Salvete

Forgot to weigh myself at the beginning of the day, woke up too dehydrated so I immediately went to hydrate myself. End of day weight is 80.2kg. Not bad.

Gym

Went to the gym for the first time in a week today. Thankful and overjoyed to be back, I missed it wholeheartedly. Warmed up on pec-flys today, to open the chest.

Bench​

Bar weight warmup
40kg warmup - stop & hold 1x5
60kg - stop & hold 2x5
70kg - stop & hold 2x5

Tried holding the weight on my chest for two seconds today. This feels pretty good, so I may try incorporate it semi-regularly into my routine when I want to change it up a little.

Pullups​

5x5 - wide grip pullups

These felt good, my only regret of doing them is that it doesn't activate the biceps as much as other variations do. However, those variations also activate the chest which is something I want to avoid, and do a back focused exercise. Food for thought, so
I may throw a bicep activity in soon.

I avoided squats due to my ankle which wasn't up to it, unfortunately. I need to start using my balance board for my ankle, to strengthen it up, to avoid this from happening again. I can't deal with a sprained ankle anymore, I've dealt with my fair share throughout my life. Fucking weak joints.

Misc
I did 15 minutes of Latin study today. Slowly getting more and more accustomed to the language, but its probably high time that I start noting some of the things that I'm learning, instead of relying on memory. Duolingo offers useful information and notes on each of the lessons it provides, so I will perhaps note that.

I did a bit of Law study today, because I have my exam tomorrow and I hope to do well. Naturally. I'm confident that I will be going into this with all I need to pass and achieve a good mark on it.

I feel pretty numb with life in general, still. I need to fix my mindset regarding PMO, I know what I need to do yet I justify relapse because I am not disciplined enough to contain my own mind. I am a slave to sexual impulse at times. I know that I do not relapse daily, nor do I fantasize daily, yet at times when I do relapse it is entirely avoidable. Masturbation is not worth it.

I need to find a goal to work towards, I need something strong to drive me. I have a broad set of interests that could keep me busy, yet I still feel numb. It is like I am missing something, not doing something. And I don't know what it is, but I need to find it. I also feel trapped and caged, especially the last few weeks. I feel discomfort in my own body, and I'm not sure why. I hate the feeling and I want to feel free, agile, strong. I feel like something in my head is holding me back.

Anyway. That's all for today. I hope to have a restful sleep, and to not wake up feeling dehydrated. However, I don't think I will be gifted either of those possibilities.

 

31/5/22

Did my exam today. Feeling content about the quality of work I produced. I hope my diverse knowledge of legal precedent and unconventional answers is enough to impress the marker.

I consumed too much coffee today, I will look at cutting that back now. I am too dehydrated at all times of the day despite a high water intake. Less coffee, less sodium, and more fruit and water. This is something I must focus on if I wish to feel better.

Went into the sauna for 2x10 minutes today, sweated it out. Did some quick core exercises beforehand, I miss doing core exercises. I will maybe try and incorporate them on Tuesdays and Thursdays before I go into the sauna. Perhaps on Saturdays too, dependent on what my weekends look like. Running, core, stretching on my off days sounds like a good idea. Either that, or Kickboxing + sauna on Tuesday + Thursday. That would be really good. Anyway, thoughts and schemes.

Did my 15 minutes of Latin just now, learnt about the words in the class room. What I love learning about learning Latin, is seeing similar words to what is found in English and Italian today. The Etymology and Syntax of the words is absolutely fascinating. I do sometimes think about not choosing Latin as a study option in school, that would've been a good experience. But I digress, perhaps I was meant to study through Duolingo. That might just be fate.

Didn't weigh myself today, whatever, will do it tomorrow. That's all for today, time for bed because I have an early rise with work, and the heat from the sauna gave me a headache in the second leg.