The theory about approaching women on street.

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by xKiwi., May 24, 2019.

  1. xKiwi.

    xKiwi. New Fapstronaut

    I am on my 21Day streak, even though I had many wet dreams during nofap.

    At the very beginning of my journey of Self-imporvment, I got introduced to "Game" by the Real Social Dynamic community from YouTube. (RSD)

    I WAS very glad and RSD taught me one important things, such as developing my body language, and having a positive mindset.
    Which to be honest, it really drastically changed my social life when I met new people at the university.

    ( I am 18 years old, and I have traveled off to a different country, so I started a new life with a better version of myself)

    Unfortunately, maintaining what RSD taught me didn't last for long, just when my first semester finished and saw my exams results which it was 2.5 GPA out of 4.0

    I had some really ruff time with my parents, basically I've been doubted to take care of myself and etc.

    However, I lost my desire of socialising anymore, and even try taking care of myself enough.

    I was still into self improvement, but I was just depressed. 0 motivation of doing anything, and just hoping that the end comes ASAP because nothing in life matters anyway.

    Whateven worse, that I also found about Redpill of what attracts the women by FaceandLMS
    LINK (Only if you are strong enough) :

    I've watched his whole series about the Redpill
    And how they view the woman nature like & to be honest I just really hated women after then.

    It just intiate into self hate and made me view women in a different point of view.

    But however thanks God for the Redpill awareness.
    I even started to hate women more when I seen MGTOW videos stories stories from a YouTube channel called "Sandman"
    Some example of sandman videos :-
    LINK :

    I must say, I am glad to discover MGTOW and Redpill. Even though it changed my whole view about women.
    "That women mainly care about the looks"
    But let's be honest, we all do.
    That would never bothered me if I was attractive an man. But oh boy, I definitely see that in looks... I have no chance!

    I already got a receding hairline, could be genetics? But I don't think so, I don't think at age of 18 and I already started to bald.. must be the depression, the stress and the lack of caring anymore.. even worse I fap my days off ever since I was 10 years old!
    FUCK ME. I AM SUCH AN idiot.

    However now I am trying to improve at my best now. I can't allow all the stupid little shit about my life terminate me.
    I started doing nofap, and I slowly find myself getting better, I decided to do calithenics at day 19 for the sake to be strong and hopefully restore my shit receding hairline.
    Thanks to nofap it made me commit one thing to view women as a human being & not as a satisfaction tool.

    Which right now, I am really confused & I want to get women and be good with them, but I don't know how to.. I see so many beautiful women on the street, and I can't do shit. I find "cold approaching" is some sort of harassment..

    Like what's the point to stop a beautiful girl on the street just to tell her that she's beautiful?
    Could be there a better way that just give me a reason to get to know a girl on street without picking her up like that?

    Or maybe after all, I just don't have enough balls to approach her anyway.
    Ra's Al Ghul and Deleted Account like this.
  2. So I'm not the best at this stuff but I've very recently been flirting w girls & I'm love w it. I don't like cold approaching, i have confidence that it will turn out well 100%, just not enough to do it if that makes sense. Theres to many factors and i do well in smaller enviroments vs bars or clubs for example.

    My friends (both guys and girls) sometimes say i have a flirtatious personality when i meet cute girls. And it's instinctual, i dont mean to. I don't hit on them, but i just talk to them & smile/laugh if i meet them for the first time & they respond back well. I think watching those videos aren't helpful, and rather, unbeneficial to you.

    Ive tried to be somebody im not when talking to them and to be more "cool" but this has turned out disasterous. But now i say fuck it and am being myself and if they dont like it, they dont have to stick around tbh. Theres alot of girls out there and i dont need any one person, even if they are cute. That being said, i dont say this to people bc thats rude. But its true. And im a cool dude so when i just talk to them naturally w/o trying to emit a vibe and let the vibe go naturally, they have been responding really well and flirtatious laughing and stuff. That's where I'm at. And that's on constant relapses, imagine what i would be on a decent streak.

    So in conclusion, i know its corny, but i would just be yourself. Even if you're not a cool dude, its better then pretending to be a cool. Oh, and also smile!

    When I'm in public and by myself and a cute girl is in my vicinity, i smile to them (sometimes wave). And this is the best thing ever. If they were to come up to you & say they arent interested, youre just being friendly. A smile is everything bc then you maintain relaxed eye contact and see what they do. If they don't smile or give me a weird look, i dont do anything. But alot of times they either smile just to be friendly or smile in a flirty way. Its hard to explain but you can tell after a while if theyre just being friendly or if theyre into you. Alot of times they give me a certain look and then ill engage in talking to them. Im still working on the getting snapchat part, but am getting better at it.

    Also im not good in bars for some reason, unless i can talk to them first. I picked up a bartenders # bc she was into me heavy. But ill be at a bar and w/o smiling, therell be a girl smilimg at me and giving that certain look but im still shy so i dont approach them, mainly bc at bars youre looking for hookups and i cant hookup so... what i really wanna do is approach the most attractive girl at a bar and get rejected. So i can get used to getting rejected.

    I know i write long posts. But if you read this all, you the MVP. Just start small. Smile at girls in public, work on the smile being friendly and geniuine. Every encounter is a victory, even if yoy get rejected or you didnt ask for her # and she left. It's a victory, you got this.
  3. It's too bad the guys on this forum are so misinformed about PUA. That knowledge was a huge part of me overcoming some of my confidence issues and taught me to connect with all people better, not just women. It offers a perfect explaination for why all these perpetually lonely guys cant get a break with women and easy to follow advice on improvement.

    I'm not even intimidated by hot women anymore but I'm still indimidated by cold approach and I'm do not like approaching in clubs and bars though Im way more comfortable. @wethebest Some of the PUA coaches I've seen believe the clubs and bars are the most difficult places to pick up because of all the crazy stimuli and distractions.
    Ra's Al Ghul likes this.
  4. It is. But also, if youre drunk, it can be an easy way to do so. With crowded clubs the only thing to do is smile and try to grind w them lol theyll be talkimg and i camt hear a word theyre saying. I like less crowded bars where you can talk amd whatnot
  5. I have no idea what you're talking about. I think your focus should be on improving your grades and realizing that there's so much more to life than what you're feeling and doing right now and that perfect woman will come along and shall be your best friend if you just make yourself the kind of person that another woman would want to be with.
  6. Listen I will save you hours and hours of valuable time.

    When it comes to women, pick a lane, and stick to it.

    There's no redpill! The only thing that will ever land you quality women is building a quality lifestyle, career, healthy physique, and a genuine attitude towards life. Get good at whatever sets your soul on fire. Do something better with your life everyday, and eventually you will find self-confidence and self-respect. When that happens, you can basically attract any available woman easy enough.

    There's no secret trick. Be a better man than you are, and you will get a woman. It takes time, 6 months, 6 years, I can't tell you. But when you start valuing your life, and invest in building a worthy one, you get everything else sorted out. That's how life works. Get strong! And by strong I mean, the kind of person who makes others strong as well by nature. If you have ever met anybody who did the best with their life, and gave it all, you will realize what I mean. These guys have an aura (maybe it isn't there in reality), and nobody can teach you how to get that aura, you gotta discover it on your own, but the journey you undertake for it, will certainly get you everything you will ever need (I am not saying you will get everything you want).

    Good luck once again!
  7. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    Here's the thing about cold approaching women on the street.

    It communicates =

    - You have nothing better to do.
    - You have nowhere better to be.
    - You have nobody to be with.
    - You have no interests or community that you contribute towards.
    - You are someone that spends the majority of their free time wandering the streets approaching random women in random public places for superficial reasons as a hobby / lifestyle / sport.
    - You're pretty much a bum on the street begging for women's attention.

    Unless you want to be really good at meeting random people at random places and giving them an amazing sales pitch that will make them want to get to know a random guy on the street in the first 30 seconds of the interaction....... find a better way to meet people. You're basically like a telemarketer or a panhandler interrupting their day. Of course there are people who can become great at this, but why not just do something you're actually interested in and meet people by contributing to that community? Rather than trying to convince random women in public places to give you a chance.
    Deleted Account and recon117 like this.
  8. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    You're 18 years old so you shouldn't even have a girlfriend. In my kingdom, any 18 year with a girlfriend gets arrested and in some cases imprisoned. Economies aren't built on 18-year-olds having girlfriends, economies are built on 18-year-olds working and/or getting an education!
  9. I don't agree with that, it depends on the maturity of the person among other factors for a relationship. It may not work for everyone at a young age, but it certainly did for me. I've been with my partner for many many years and glad I met him so young.
  10. Hm... you see, I'm wondering if cold approaching has a high success rate at all. I just read a reddit post where the OP asked women how did they feel about cold approaching. The majority of them (assuming most of them were actually women) said they hate it. That it usually happens when they're not interested in meeting random guys. Especially the ones that are impolite about it, such as "Damn, girl!" while recieving a full-body scan.

    Some said they would be more receptive to the "polite/flirty conversation that ends with asking for my number" approach if they were in a club, party or bar, some place where they were actually looking to meet a guy. But because cold approaching is based on the appearance of the girl and whether she attracts you, some don't like that part of it either.

    I think I'd only do it if I saw an attractive girl blatantly checking me out, that would tell me I'd have a chance, but sticking to clubs, bars, parties, and meeting people in, say, classes and the friends of friends seems like a more solid approach.
  11. I would say nah
    This cat calling, which is alot different.
    This is what i do. So i dont approach and start talking sexual to them, which could also be my mistake, idk.
    Parties are where its at. Bars secindly if its not crowded and noisey. Clubs are the worst unless youre blacked out enough to just literally grab and girls waist and start dancing w them sexually w/o saying a word to her. This has worked for me on more than one occasion. It all just depends on what youre looking for and the mood. My main thing is what music is playing at whatever venue youre at including house parties. If theres good music I'm rolling w it heavily. If there's not good music I'm having the worst time and just want to leave. That's one thing all my friends know when going out to party w me. If theyre playing some bullshit then i would actually leave the bar & my friends and go someplace else. I cant stand it, & this tied into what i was saying but forgot how.
  12. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

    I don't think cold approaches have to be categorized as only a negative thing since in my case that's how I finally overcame being a painfully shy wallflower. One day I decided I did not want to be a wallflower anymore and started making attempts right on the street. Fell the first few times and then started getting dates not long after. It should be one tool to use from the toolbox but not the only tool.
    Xhiddy, recon117 and Deleted Account like this.
  13. Cold approach is a learnable skill just like every thing else. I have no problems getting with women in my social circle and at work but right now I'm not working and the people in my social circle don't party like that. If I adhered to some rule where I only tried to meet women in a club, bar or at a party. I would probably never meet any women at all.
    -I'm fairly attractive and I'm comfortable with people but I've never been good at connecting with women in a club or bar environment anyway although @wethebest the walk up and grind on the chicks seemed to work well seemed to work a few times. I always met more women out side the club or walking from club to club.
    -Some girls have a stigma about clubs (meat markets) and refuse to hang out there. Meeting women in clubs and bars limits you to the kind of women who hang out in clubs and bars. Not saying that every woman in a club or a bar is not ok but thats where alot of attention seeking girls congregate. Meeting women at, grocery stores, malls, beaches, public transportation and bookstores gives you access to different types of women.
    - i'm not great at seeing some chick across the street, make a beeline for her and start macking but I do know some guys who can and get pretty consistent results. I've walked up to strange women in busy public places and told them flat out that I thought they were fucking gorgeous and I actually got great responses but it's hard to motivate myself to do it sometimes. The PUA stuff I read gave me some insights on strategies to minimize the creep factor but I need more practice. I am good a striking up conversatons with people in public places while going about my business. It only takes a little calibration to convert those conversations to phone numbers.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2019
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  14. Yeah to be clear the grind up method only works when both parties are extremely intoxicated, it's alot of fun though. I, too, do better when I'm talking to girls outside where it's quieter and you can actually talk. It just depends on my mood, if i wanna be ratchet or not. Sometimes i want to, sometimes not. I don't do the grind up method when im sober, i feel like a creep lol
    Deleted Account likes this.
  15. Just do a random search on youtube on "girl talks about mgtow(or redpill)", and pay close attention to what is said. Calm down man, I'm very worried about you. It's not true, no one is only attracted to their partners based on look (or money if you think that), and if someone is, you can figure that out easily and they are not worth your time. People are initially attracted to looks sure, but that's not the whole game bro.

    You also mentioned that you feel deeply depressed and didn't talk about any resolution on that problem, I'd recommend you talk to someone or go see a therapist. I'm not trying to be condescending, neither am I trying to cause panic on you, you deserve what's best for you.
    This is not your fault.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  16. Wankeroni

    Wankeroni Fapstronaut

    By the time you get this good, women will become obsolete, but you'll still get them thrown your way.
    Ra's Al Ghul likes this.
  17. Wankeroni

    Wankeroni Fapstronaut

    I've tried pick up when I was younger and that shit's awkward if you're just asking them out. You can't really do that without context though. It's better to be conversational then to come off as a complete stranger.
  18. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

    Its awkward if you make it awkward. You gotta let go of expecting a positive outcome and just not give a shit. If it turns out you get a bad result, move on.
    Xhiddy and Deleted Account like this.
  19. RequestDenied

    RequestDenied Fapstronaut

    Cold approach is very difficult and you must live in a big city to get away with it.

    That said, assuming you have decent SMV, it's the only means to "bat out of your league" without relying on a social circle. You can't get the same quality of girl via online dating.

    The "key" (lol) is you have to have the personality and confidence to pull it off. Some dude on this thread said he read a reddit where the OP asked women what they thought about cold street approach. LOL. Hilarious. Women don't approach. They don't orchestrate dates. They don't initiate sex. So don't ask a fish how to catch fish - ask a fishermen.

    The mindset you need to cold approach is "I'm about to make this girl's day and this girl is lucky to get the opportunity to meet me and have a bit of my attention." If your thought is "gee this is creepy and leery and women on buzzfeed disagree with this and blah blah blah" then you're toast.

    It's all relative. You think women would bitch if Leonardo Di Caprio cold approached them? I didn't think so.

    Now, obvi we can't all be that dude but I'm trying to illustrate a point. If you're a badass, high value dude, with a fun life, present yourself well, work on your body, have a decent sense of fashion, and honestly don't give two shits about the outcome, then do it. She will "smell" that on you.

    If you don't meet those criteria yet, then either work on getting there or take a pass.

    And yes, I've cold approached before. It sucks but it's how I've hooked up with some of the hottest girls in my life. It's not magic. Rejection sucks. But it's better than settling. Better than online dating. And better than relying on your social circle to feed your opportunities.

    Best of luck!
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