The Three Faces

6sha6dow6

6sha6dow6

Fapstronaut
There is an old japanese proverb that says: A man has three faces: The one he shows to public, The one he shows to friends, And the one only he himself can see.
...So my story is that I'm sick of this shit. and I wanna take this moment of internal screaming of depression to show you my real face. The truth is I hate myself, When I look at the mirror, I see a total loser. A perfect, strong handsome guy who could have done things, been places, lived like one of those awesome guys who keep posting on instagram and has a six pack!... But Instead I wasted nearly entirely best moments of my life on this screen. I started masturbating since I was 13, now I'm 23 years old. 10 years of life wasted. Throughout these years I did it like twice a day, or at least once everyday. One time I did it 9 consecutive times... I never thought this is something serious. my excuse was that everybody does it, so why not me?! I realised I need help when I got severe backache, my penis not getting hard even to porn, starting to get excited about other weird crazy shit such as Taboo porn, hentai, and sometimes even cuckold porn!!!!! yeah... you know what I'm talking about! I completely lost my confidence, not only to girls, but even in simple ordinary arguments with everyday people. meaning I always prefered to take shit rather than arguing with them, cause I always thought everybody knows better than me, and I didn't stood up much for my beliefs and my own set of thinking even though when I was pretty damn sure that I'm right! I'm not doing this to attract women and have sex, not that I mean I don't like it or anything. It's easy for me to get their attention, It's just my natural thing, but I haven't went any further with them. The real reason why I'm here... It's because I want to have a normal life again... Being different than other ordinary boring people is a good thing, but not when you are a sick fuck acting like a sorry ass loser who gets aroused by weird dungeon sex n' shit. I wanna be healthy, get motivated, gain my confidence back. I really want to live like a MAN!... I really want to... I've already done NoFap about a few weeks, of course with some relapse at weekends. But I'm here to be serious with myself this time. I shared my ugly side you and tired of hiding myself and pretending like there's nothing wrong. I will do my very best, and I hope I won't let my fellow fapstronauts down, and most importantly...
I hope I don't let myself down.
 
Hi
Glad you are here. And very welcome to join us in our journey to a healthy, fulfilling life without any self harming habits.

It's a safe place here. We all are in the same boat, so there is no single space for judgement here.
Maybe it's a good idea to keep a journal. Sharing your struggles, thoughts and feelings may help you to understand the underlying issues.

Keep coming back and get the most effort out of nofap!
You don't need to do it alone!

I wish you lots of luck!
 
Roady said:
Hi
Glad you are here. And very welcome to join us in our journey to a healthy, fulfilling life without any self harming habits.

It's a safe place here. We all are in the same boat, so there is no single space for judgement here.
Maybe it's a good idea to keep a journal. Sharing your struggles, thoughts and feelings may help you to understand the underlying issues.

Keep coming back and get the most effort out of nofap!
You don't need to do it alone!

I wish you lots of luck!
Click to expand...
Tnx for the very warm welcome dear roady.
 
6sha6dow6 said:
There is an old japanese proverb that says: A man has three faces: The one he shows to public, The one he shows to friends, And the one only he himself can see.

Such a great way to look at our problem. What happens is that part of us that no one sees starts to consume us. Time, energy, etc. we feel like we are alone. Reality is that just logging on here a couple times you find you were never alone at all.

It’s easy to look back at time wasted, or what might have been. Maybe that’s ok to remind us of the price of this addiction. We can also look forward. How much better is it going to be! We can get ourselves back.
Click to expand...
 
6sha6dow6 said:
There is an old japanese proverb that says: A man has three faces: The one he shows to public, The one he shows to friends, And the one only he himself can see.
...So my story is that I'm sick of this shit. and I wanna take this moment of internal screaming of depression to show you my real face. The truth is I hate myself, When I look at the mirror, I see a total loser. A perfect, strong handsome guy who could have done things, been places, lived like one of those awesome guys who keep posting on instagram and has a six pack!... But Instead I wasted nearly entirely best moments of my life on this screen. I started masturbating since I was 13, now I'm 23 years old. 10 years of life wasted. Throughout these years I did it like twice a day, or at least once everyday. One time I did it 9 consecutive times... I never thought this is something serious. my excuse was that everybody does it, so why not me?! I realised I need help when I got severe backache, my penis not getting hard even to porn, starting to get excited about other weird crazy shit such as Taboo porn, hentai, and sometimes even cuckold porn!!!!! yeah... you know what I'm talking about! I completely lost my confidence, not only to girls, but even in simple ordinary arguments with everyday people. meaning I always prefered to take shit rather than arguing with them, cause I always thought everybody knows better than me, and I didn't stood up much for my beliefs and my own set of thinking even though when I was pretty damn sure that I'm right! I'm not doing this to attract women and have sex, not that I mean I don't like it or anything. It's easy for me to get their attention, It's just my natural thing, but I haven't went any further with them. The real reason why I'm here... It's because I want to have a normal life again... Being different than other ordinary boring people is a good thing, but not when you are a sick fuck acting like a sorry ass loser who gets aroused by weird dungeon sex n' shit. I wanna be healthy, get motivated, gain my confidence back. I really want to live like a MAN!... I really want to... I've already done NoFap about a few weeks, of course with some relapse at weekends. But I'm here to be serious with myself this time. I shared my ugly side you and tired of hiding myself and pretending like there's nothing wrong. I will do my very best, and I hope I won't let my fellow fapstronauts down, and most importantly...
I hope I don't let myself down.
Click to expand...
bro......cool..relax........dont worry...u have just 10 years experience...i have 13 years experience....its never too late to change,..use this community.........if you compare with me, you have 3 years extra time to recover....see my thread..
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...ed-pics-my-diseased-body.146729/#post-1201742


even i tried many times and failed...the final secret of change is dont fight.....'The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.....go to gym, meditate, learn new things...forget about your past....over a time everything will change
 
Your topic title made me think of this:

faces+of+foley.png
 
Welcome to the forums man! We're in this together, and you've come to the right place. Glad you could use this space to process and get out some of your feelings. Definitely would recommend keeping a journal - I'm about to start one myself. I've been reading through others' and it seems to really help!

Best of luck on the journey, and hope I'll see you in the 7-Day Challenge as a start!
 
@rishi123
"even i tried many times and failed...the final secret of change is dont fight.....'The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.....go to gym, meditate, learn new things...forget about your past....over a time everything will change"
Thx for that. I easily forget that

Welcome to the forum 6Sha6dow6. You are not alone in here.
We all show are third faces, it feels like a safe place to do so. I feel your struggle, I'm going through something alike.
Only, i'm in my 30's. It is never too late to make a new start.
 
you can do it bro.....The only proper way to eliminate bad habits is to replace them with good ones.”.......the most important one is selfawareness..remove all things which provoke you..i even lived 2 months without smart phone few months back, so that i dont resort to mobile porn....install antiporn softwares and apps....be selfaware
 
rishi123 said:
bro......cool..relax........dont worry...u have just 10 years experience...i have 13 years experience....its never too late to change,..use this community.........if you compare with me, you have 3 years extra time to recover....see my thread..
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...ed-pics-my-diseased-body.146729/#post-1201742


even i tried many times and failed...the final secret of change is dont fight.....'The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.....go to gym, meditate, learn new things...forget about your past....over a time everything will change
Click to expand...
Thank you bother. I'm actually doing Home workout + 100 pushup challenge to utilize my energy. and other mind activities to keep me from thinking about porn. you might find this a little odd, but for example, I replaced Instagram with other Apps such as Vocab.com to use my time in order to learn new vocabularies. To be honest with you, It is very boring... but it keeps you away from those random sexy girls you see unintendedly in your instagram feed and search that makes you feel a little horny and brings back naughty memories... and you know where this goes...
 
LorenzoStar said:
Welcome to the forums man! We're in this together, and you've come to the right place. Glad you could use this space to process and get out some of your feelings. Definitely would recommend keeping a journal - I'm about to start one myself. I've been reading through others' and it seems to really help!

Best of luck on the journey, and hope I'll see you in the 7-Day Challenge as a start!
Click to expand...
Tnx man. You know to stop myself from masturbating, I made myself pretty bussy, currently I'm trying to get to know the site better by "getting started with nofap pdf". I will definitely make a journal sooner or later.
 
2525 said:
Welcome to NoFap!

NoFap is a comprehensive community-based porn recovery website.

We offer all the tools our users need to connect with a supportive community of individuals determined to quit porn use and free themselves from compulsive sexual behaviors. We refer to the process of recovering from porn addiction as "rebooting". Research has shown that heavy porn use can change the neural pathways of the brain causing addiction, hormonal changes, and sexual dysfunction. The rebooting process is intended to restore these neural pathways to factory settings, so to speak.


Firstly, I suggest you to read these two official pages :

- What is Porn Addiction?
- Rebooting from Porn Addiction


Secondly, I suggest you to pick up one of these challenges :

- The 7 Days Challenge
- The 14 Days Challenge
- The 21 Days Challenge
- The 30 Days Challenge
- The 60 Days Challenge
- The 90 Days Challenge
- The 365 Days Challenge


And third, I suggest you to take a look at these threads :

- 50+ Habits for a Successful Reboot
- Daily Intention Thread : "Today I will not use porn because..."
- A question about your reboot? Get a fast reply!
- The 3 Most Common Mistakes


After all of this, you should be able to have an important understanding of what is Porn Addiction and how to start your own reboot with maximizing your chance of success.

I sincerely wish you all the best, and if you need anything concerning a moderation issue, make sure to send me a Private Message.

Best regards,
2525
Click to expand...
Thank you 2525. I really needed these link to help me find what I need to know. You really did me a great help.
 
rishi123 said:
you can do it bro.....The only proper way to eliminate bad habits is to replace them with good ones.”.......the most important one is selfawareness..remove all things which provoke you..i even lived 2 months without smart phone few months back, so that i dont resort to mobile porn....install antiporn softwares and apps....be selfaware
Click to expand...
dear rishi, I can feel my confidence to win this fight. And right now I'm trying very hard to be aware of myself and actions. I know what you've been through... cause I did this smartphone thing too. replaced it with a cheap flip phone. the struggle was so hard, that I took my friends laptop to gain access to high quality porn... so I realized this point: what's the point of restraining yourself from technology when you still do porn... plus I needed the smartphone to go on with my studies cause most the books were in pdf format. so I learned this: You're surrounding may be the problem... But you are the solution. It's your inner self you must fix. No matter how tempting your surroundings may be, You must be stronger than them!
 
Welcome, stopping PMO will be the best decision you can ever make. I promise it will make your life better. Here is a link to my journal with the plan I used to overcome porn and other addictions. I believe that it is a good starting point and my plan may give you some ideas for developing your own plan.https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/no-cross-dressing-re-boot-journal.87827/. In addition you are very young. I had a 28 year long porn addiction. I didn't give it up until age 48. You still have plenty of time to get on track.
 
6sha6dow6 said:
dear rishi, I can feel my confidence to win this fight. And right now I'm trying very hard to be aware of myself and actions. I know what you've been through... cause I did this smartphone thing too. replaced it with a cheap flip phone. the struggle was so hard, that I took my friends laptop to gain access to high quality porn... so I realized this point: what's the point of restraining yourself from technology when you still do porn... plus I needed the smartphone to go on with my studies cause most the books were in pdf format. so I learned this: You're surrounding may be the problem... But you are the solution. It's your inner self you must fix. No matter how tempting your surroundings may be, You must be stronger than them!
Click to expand...
try to study in group or with friends..attend classes if possible....mostly prefer books......use anti porn browsers in smart phone..keep your smart phone wallpaper something which inspires you....what i finally say is dont try be alone,because enemy is dangerous.....do squats , it strengethens your pc muscle and you will have less wetdreams....meditate also...good luck...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top