The Way of Harmony

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Mark, Dec 24, 2013.

  1. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    "The lie tastes sweet at the beginning but bitter at the end. The truth tastes bitter at the beginning but sweet at the end" ~Guatama Siddhartha (the Buddah)

    "Man is still bullied about by his biological urges. When man is complete, and has truly integrated his still clumsy body with his mind and spirit, his total freedom of spiritual being is beyond the control of the biological instinct. This does not violate the physical laws of tbe universe; it simply postulates that we are beings with the inherent power to cultivate our energy to a level of power where it allows us to direct our bodies freely. It is not mind over matter, as that implies a battle. It is more mind inside matter. The revelations of mind have allowed us to create nuclear bombs, so why not use mind to direct its own body which is immediately at hand?" ~ Mantak Chia

    "If you continue to soil your own bed then you will one night suffocate in your own waste"~ Chief Seattle



    Just some thoughts...

    Everything is energy.

    Emotion is energy-in-motion.

    Movement is life and life is movement.

    Resistance HURTS!


    We can habitually re-act to problems or we can carefully choose how we respond.

    In the martial art Aikido (Japanese for the way of harmony with the universe) they have something called 'tenkan' which is Japanese for 'turn' or 'convert' and basically when a problem (person/attack etc) comes at you the idea is to blend with the 'attack' whilst remaining relaxed/alert and having gathered the force (your 'opponents' energy) you physically 'turn' with it and 'convert' it into something you are now in control of rather than the other way around. Having done this (and of course all this happens in seconds) you can then 'direct' it and use it to find a resulotion that is mutually beneficial for both yourself and the person who 'attacked' you. Your opponent is not viewed as an enemy or an attacker but as your 'partner' as everything is viewed as 'one' (which of course it is, seperation is an illusion!!;-)) and therefore mutually supportive/interdependent/complimentary and in full acknowledgement of this you bow to and THANK your partner (this is so important).

    Is worth trying the above approach with withdrawals/cravings or ANY other (so called) problem in life? Seems a wasted opportunity for learning and growth not to??

    For example:

    This is/was probably your usual 'routine'

    The way of War

    Your stopping PMO.

    You have a craving for PMO, experience withdrawal in whatever way it manifest itself.

    Your mind views this craving as a problem and the tension it creates as something you must resolve in the only way you know how, either by fighting it (which causes more tension) or simply giving into it and through habitual response so before you know what's happening yo have rationalised how you feel and 'move towards' PMO and the 'releif' it offers (and even if you successfully 'fought' it off it will lurk in the shadows and find another means of expression when you least expect it, road rage, an argument with your spouse, drugs, kicking the cat- what's your 'alternative'?)

    You PMO and the usual cycle is re-enforced

    You feel shit

    You have a craving for PMO...(and round and round it goes as you continue to allow yourself to be caught in the descending spiral of addiction)

    Next time you experience any kind of withdrawal try this...

    The way of harmony

    You have a craving for PMO

    You relax, breathe, acknowledge and accept that how you feel is part of the process of a change YOU have chosen and you blend with the 'problem', embrace it, and direct the energy you feel (emotion= energy in motion!!) towards something more beneficial not only for you but for others if possible. This way you have 'converted' this 'problem' into something that you can work with BEFORE you move into your habitual responses (which eventually becomes a habit in itself)

    Then thank your 'problem' as it has helped you move forward! (onwards and upwards in the ascending spiral of recovery!:eek:)

    Resistance is the opposite of being receptive and it is so important to be open to new ideas if we are to change and move forward because, as Albert Einstein once observed, "You will not solve a problem using the same thinking that created it in the first place."

    Wise words indeed!

    I hope I've managed to 'convert' you!! ;) :D


    If the above helps maybe try these...

    The Way of Peace

    Sexual Energy Transmutation

    Permission to Fail!
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2014
  2. Thanks so much John, i always find your posts motivating and it gives me hope to "keep going" (which was the subject of your latest post :)).

    Keep it up man!
     
  3. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Cheers man, it motivates me to know somebody has been motivated to post a reply to say thanks for the motivation...;)
     
  4. john13

    john13 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks John, I'm going to give this a try. Seems like trying to fight just makes it worse for me.
     
  5. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Cheers, yep, just look what happens when we (or should I say those who are apparently 'elected' to serve us) wage 'wars without end' on anything, drugs, crime, 'terror' (the most ridiculous contradiction of ALL time- war IS terror!!) we just get more of it!! War is a symptom of fear, ignorance and weakness- harmony is a flowering of love, knowledge and strength!:eek:

    Stay strong mate and I don't believe in it but just in case you do...Merry Christmas (bah!) ;)
     
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2013
  6. drizztsaysno

    drizztsaysno Fapstronaut

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    Jiltedjohn you're an inspiration!
     
  7. manfredswang

    manfredswang Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man, that was an awesome way of looking at it. I've always been fascinated by Aikido and it's relations to taoism, i once took it up for a month or so, but it was just a phase. I'd almost completely forgotten about it till your post. Good stuff.
     
  8. john13

    john13 Fapstronaut

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    Very true! And a belated Happy Winter Solstice to you!:)
     
  9. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Hey! And to you, happy new year...in the truest sense!!;)
     
  10. matø

    matø Fapstronaut

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    I'm having a bit of a tough one with my addiction at the moment but this helped me. Thanks alot!
     
  11. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I've heard people say they looked at porn because they couldn't 'resist' the temptation. Try this:

    Don't resist temptation because resistance causes more tension and pain. Imagine a water hose with water passing through it. Now imagine blocking it by squeezing the end and of course what will happen is that resistance will cause tension to build which will get increasingly intense until its fit to burst.

    Isn't this what happens when your thinking of porn and especially if you progress to edging?

    So instead of resisting it simply RE-DIRECT it. As soon as you recognise you are thinking about porn etc use your ability to choose what happens (because you DO have that ability!) and rather than resist the energy that has accumulated as a result of your thinking GO DIRECT YOUR FOCUS/ATTENTION/ENERGY ON SOMETHING ELSE! Something constructive and healthy. Something with meaning and value.

    It's all a choice but remember this:

    If you keep doing what you've always done you will keep getting what you always got!

    Tis your call.
     
  12. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Just another quickie regarding the above.

    What IS temptation? What does that word actuaally mean? I don't know I just think it helps to understand the language we use?

    Looking at it I'm going to suggest it means temporary-sensation.

    So its a temporary sensation THAT WILL PASS, especially if we re-direct it into something more beneficial!

    That'll do for me!!;)
     
    SleepyFox likes this.
  13. AC81

    AC81 Banned

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    Very inspirational. Thanks
     
  14. Asadi

    Asadi Fapstronaut

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    Awesome I am currently struggling with this temptation as I move towards my current 90 day goal and this post is helping me a lot!
     
  15. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Glad this is helping, hopefully you can reframe temptation and experience it as a temporary-sensation and any accompanying emotions as energy-in-motion you can direct/channel into something positive/beneficial?:cool:;)
     
  16. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Last edited: Jan 11, 2014
  17. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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  18. Harold

    Harold Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for this post John. I caught myself fighting the urges instead of redirecting. Maybe this advice will help me overcoming this habit. Still I have one question: if you get an urge and are tempted you say you could use the energy to be productive instead, but what is when temptation comes because you have low energy after a hard day and want to give yourself a treat/ a relief ? Can you always be productive and work the "energy" off ? I suppose this concept of energy you describe is no physical energy you can receive but rather an analogy for emotions/thoughts that can trigger different actions, right ?
     
  19. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Hi Harold, everything is energy, including thoughts and 'urges' and emotions are simply energy-in-motion and so I guess there are many ways to answer your question and I can only offer you one? Even if you are running on empty you can still get a sexual urge (energy) just by having certain thoughts (energy) and even habitual beliefs/behaviours like 'I deserve a treat after a hard days work's will generate a Pavlovian 'urge' etc. The idea, in this instance, would be to redirect that sexual energy either inwards and upwards (but obviously you would need to know how to do that) and/or doing something else OTHER than treating yourself in the usual way.

    It might be best if you had a good read of these threads as they may help you understand these ideas more?

    http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?3356-Creative-use-of-sexual-energy-(life-changing
    http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2468-A-way-to-deal-with-horniness-works-for-me
    http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthre...s-it-will-help-you-instantly-and-dramatically
    http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2930-Easy-Tiger!!

    There's a fair bit in there but well with a look and I hope they answer your question? :)
     
  20. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Just a quickie to say that what's helped me enormously is understanding that my sexual energies needed channelling inwards and upwards when not outwards via ejeculation (to be honest I have lost all interest in 'outward' ejeculation now which is massively propagated by porn) When these energies are 'stuck' in the genital area it can make you feel, if you'll pardon the expression, like a dog with two dicks!! (That might be a northern English expression that may or may not translate?!?!)Learning how to transmute/convert that energy into creative energy has changed my life. See if these links are of any interest ... http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?4054-Getting-Started-with-Sexual-Energy-Transmutation
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2014

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