The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by aron, Nov 25, 2013.

  1. aron

    aron Fapstronaut

    This is not directly related to pornography, but nonetheless it has been of tremendous help.

    The reason most people relapse is that they don't have enough self control and will. And the book goes into depth explaining the physiological mechanism why people don't have self control, and also what they can do to increase it (yes, self control and will can be increased and trained, just like a muscle). It also gives insight about the triggers that make people loose their self control, and also how to recognize those triggers before we act upon them.

    For anyone who is serious about quitting PMO, its mandatory to also understand the physiological mechanism of what happens in the brain, and this book clearly explains it.

    I can say that reading it has opened my eyes and can see more clearly the triggers even when they are just a thought. I have gone from max 3 weeks without M, to 7 weeks and still going strong just because of the insight this book offered.

    Stay strong and clean
  2. aron

    aron Fapstronaut

    Well done for you for going strong and abstaining for so long, but I see a lot of people relapsing every day and I wanted to give them my tips, in the case it might be of use to them.
    I am trying to emphasize a point here :) But I will tell you what I learned from the book.

    They were explaining that dopamine, as the reward hormone, is released by the brain when the brain PERCEIVES that the reward is coming, and NOT in the moment of the reward. So, for example, when searching for porn, you have that excitement, feeling that the next picture/movie/website is going to be the one you are looking for. That feeling of excitement is given by dopamine. The idea of novelty, of discovering something new will trigger the release of dopamine in brain. And dopamine can be released as long as the brain PERCEIVES that is more novelty to discover. That's why one can spend hours, or even days looking at porn, and still be excited. As a side note, I noticed on myself that the real excitement was searching for porn and not actually masturbating or cumming while watching it.

    Some researchers did an interesting experiment with a mouse, They connected some electrodes to the brain's reward system, where dopamine is released, and would put the mouse in a box. The box would have an electrified floor and 2 buttons at each end. Every time the mouse would push a button he would get stimulated. Then if he pushed the other button he would get stimulated again. But going from one button to the other meant crossing the electrified floor, which would cause pain. So they did the experiment and the mouse was pushing buttons until his feet were burned from the electricity and couldn't move anymore.

    By searching for novelty, (porn or not porn) the brain releases dopamine, and increased exposure to it will increase the tolerance for it. After that we need stronger stimulation, more graphic/hardcore content. That's why porn consumers go for stronger and stronger forms of porn. I think almost everyone can vouch for that. It's not the actual viewing of porn that gets addicted, but the process of searching for it.
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2013
  3. aron

    aron Fapstronaut

    It's from the book. I haven't actually checked YBOP, except for reading some success stories. But I wouldn't be surprised if they'd reference same research.
    I also just realized that the author is cute. I had no idea :p
  4. snmstyle

    snmstyle Fapstronaut

    Thank you for this. Just the mere impulse of searching releases dopamine. That is so astonishing. What I learned from my last relapse is that the mere searching for Porn got me excited, not in the act of watching it. Stay strong aron!
  5. jason_xm

    jason_xm New Fapstronaut

    The Willpower Instict is actually a great read. For those of you who find sitting down and reading a book about willpower boring, there is an audio version you can get from amazon through AUDIBLE.COM website and app. and you can listen to it wherever (driving etc.)In anycase, it is really not boring, it is an easy read, taken from a series of lectures (but not the boring kind you snooze through).

    It is applicable for porn but for a good many other things, which is part of it's appeal
  6. AtlantaFalcon

    AtlantaFalcon Fapstronaut

    so its worth the 16 bucks?
  7. ikaika

    ikaika Fapstronaut

  8. TenderTalons

    TenderTalons Fapstronaut

    Willpower is nothing without the skills to implement it. One has to make sure that they can catch themselves before their actions get out of hand. I struggle with some things in my life outside of PMO as well, and I'm doing my best to treat my problems all at once.

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