The worst mistake of all for any goal.

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by GonTheHunter, Oct 21, 2019.

  1. GonTheHunter

    GonTheHunter Fapstronaut

    I realized one thing for a year (or so) stupidly trying to stop pornography, because I made a mistake that from today I no longer make, and I will share that mistake with you: Judgment, perfectionism and self-criticism. These three are almost the same, so I count as one mistake.

    It's been a while since I've seen self-improvement videos, they're cool, they talk about productivity, focus, concentration and so on. Some about more mental health things like gratitude and etc.

    However, I think when I watch these videos, I kind of came up with the following reasoning: "I need to be like this guy and the content he produces." I think I made a fatal mistake in doing this, because maybe even the content creator didn't realize the "grandiosity" of the idea, and he's probably leading a good life, just like everyone else. Realizing this, I also realized the biggest stupidity I did for 2 years, telling last year that everything I planned also went wrong. I will count my worst mistakes:

    1. Too generic goals. Many were completely unnecessary.
    2. Lack of strategic planning, I simply put it on paper and end.

    And finally the third and worst mistake of all, judgment and self-criticism. Seriously I believe there is nothing worse than this critical judgment I have of myself, I feel so bad about it that because of that, in an act of self-pity, I procrastinate ... Procrastinating I drown out this judgment a little but the pain of not following the planning, makes me feel like rubbish.

    What did I learn from this BIG mistake? You have to stop (or start) gradually, one day at a time, and not let addiction or the f*cking planning consume all your mental health and life, I made that mistake, no more.

    My main advice from now on is to start slowly: Isn't stopping PMO working? Start by stopping only with pornography.

    "My exercise planning is not going the way I wanted ..."

    My friend, the truth is that it never is. Start slowly and see how you have progressed, when you see that the routine is going as planned (small), then increase. Let's say, every week 3 minutes more of running or gym, not 1 HOUR overnight.

    Sorry for any grammatical or term errors, I still use Google Translate, I am not fluent, and right away I realize that I will not become if I do not admit that trying to study more than I can, that is, my mental capacity allow, not I will reach the level of fluency.
  2. The way I am

    The way I am Fapstronaut

    Yes, I appreciate your understanding in this. And I hope you've realized that I had in common with you too much in terms of perfectionism that comes with the PMO addiction.

    Once I asked my Girlfriend to tell me about the personal mistakes I had been doing very much according to her. And she had told me that maybe I outh to have realised my potiential, my distinctive characteristics from others. She always advices me not to despise myself and not to be desperate about myself. You know, sometimes we need to step back to see the big picture. Or we need someone to tell this. And I believe that you will do your best, you have the potential.

    Stay in touch.)
    GonTheHunter likes this.
  3. Good post. To add to the goals, I always remember the acronym SMART.

    Specific - don’t just say something generic
    Measurable - can be marked against some type of benchmark
    Achievable - aim high but be realistic
    Relevant - make sure it relates to your life vision
    Time-bound - give yourself a cutoff point

    I see so many people with goals that they never meet because they are not worded like true goals. Same thing happens at work and it drives me crazy.

    Good advice too on starting small and building up and not tackling too much at one time. That was a mistake I have made numerous times in my life and I was stuck spinning my wheels.

    Thanks for sharing this post.
    GonTheHunter likes this.
  4. GonTheHunter

    GonTheHunter Fapstronaut

    Thank you :)

    That's a good acronym, i will save it :) ;)
    TheOneRingBoromir likes this.

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