There’s no going back

Really honest post there Permeated Milkshake. BTW, what is a permeated milkshake and what does it taste like?

But seriously, I want to say something sensible and helpful, but not sure if I can.

I know that I';ve acted out to all sorts of PMO, but it doesn't mean that I'm this or that.

I've also physically engaged with sexual acts which have involved Ladyboys (twice or thrice, or so).

Does that make me gay or something else? For me, not really, no. There was context behind it all and I don't have a problem with any of it.

Maybe some others would, but I don't.

Seriously, Just recently for the first time in a long while, I actually connected with some Trans porn.

She was cute, I got off her (and him) and that was that. It doesn't make me anything but a horny naughty little boy, ho ho ho. Seriously. Nothing more, nothing less.

The fact is this: I see my end of days being with a full-blooded chick, not a dick. It has nothing to do with fear or prejudice, or desire, It's about what my heart yearns for.

So what does your heart yearn for?

 

These are the moments can be a real turning point. When I finally broke, it was right after a two hour edging session. I just couldn't let it continue to slowly ruin my life.

I hope success for you in your turning point. Start reading all the experiences here, and maybe start your own journal in the reboot log section. It can really help.

That temptation to jack off all the time; that's not something any of us here take lightly. It's gonna be hell resisting that urge, but that's what you're signing up for. But, as you will find from reading everyone's posts and journals, the benefits are real, and really amazing.

And don't let your porn addiction make you confused about your sexuality. Escalation and novelty in your porn choices is the name of the game in this kind of an addiction. So just concentrate on healing yourself and the rest will tend to itself.

Take care and stand strong.

 

Welcome to the forum Permeated, understand the emotion of 'no going back' for sure, and from a person with over four decades of porn use I can say there were several times in my life where the willingness and desire to never return to porn was very strong, for a variety of life-reasons.

However. I went back. Always some excuse or negotiation or rationale. "It's only porn." "Everyone does it." "It doesn't matter what I do in secret." "I'll stop when (fill in the blank with a change in circumstance like being married)" "I have a high libido." "I am different than other people." "I can manage this."

It's an addiction. And tough, really tough, to leave, because we are made sexual beings.

From a book I'm currently reading, by Milton Magnus, Stop Sex Addiction, page 65-66.
Crack cocaine addiction is often thought to be among the most difficult forms of addiction to address, but clients I have treated who are addicted to both crack and sex tell me that recovery from their addiction to crack came more easily than their recovery from their addiction to sex. Of course, recovery from addiction to sex is complicated by the fact that sex is a natural and healthy human drive. Total abstinence is possible and necessary in recovery from addiction to substances, whereas recovery from addiction involves reestablishing a healthy relationship to sex and keeping it in the context of a committed partnership, not giving it up permanently.
//

I wish you the best, read up here and keep coming back.

 

Don’t doubt yourself bro. It’s porn, it’s not real life. When I started looking at porn, I remember how nasty and exhilarating girl on girl was. Didn’t last long. Without being graphic, I descended into progressively worse categories over time. I’ve ended at the point where I’m disgusted with myself after O. It’s porn. It’s addiction. The high gets harder to find so we have to look for new stuff. It’s natural. All I can say is this: if we don’t stop now, it’ll just keep going. It’ll keep evolving into an uglier beast, until porn no longer is enough. You’ll want to go live it, and the consequences are way fucking harder. Let’s take control of our minds and rule ourselves.