There is always a doubt there, I guess I can no longer MO

So I've been in recovery from Porn addiction for like 3 years now, have relapsed many many times in that period, but have also been able to make some really positive changes in my life. I have however more recently in the past 5 months or so been slowly feeling worse and worse with depression and anxiety and have looked at porn and near to PMO'd a couple of times. I know that this is part of the reason I am so down and my confidence is shaken. Before I always thought that porn was the only issue but I now think I have come to the point where I can't MO anymore at all. Everyones recovery is different and I thought I could but I guess that is out of the question completely as every time I do I end up feeling such a huge sense of shame/guilt and tiredness lethargy and no interest in anything. I am with my girlfriend the last 4 years and she has always supported me through this. I have not suffered from ED but now I'm trying to figure out whether I should abstain from sex completely for a while, I don't even know how I would communicate this to my girlfriend.