Things Are Going Better With Women

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Deleted Account, Feb 4, 2019.

  1. I'm increasingly having success with women from going to my Meetup groups. The thing is, these women are approaching me! LOL Really all I'm doing is just showing up. They're inviting me out to do things together. Saturday and Sunday I went out with some girls from Meetup, they invited me out this coming Wednesday, and another one invited me out this coming Friday. Crazy! None of this is dating or anything, just friends, although I can tell they like me LOL. And so it feels like I increasingly have options. It has a ripple effect too, because other women see that you're out with women, and you become more attractive to these other women too! It's all helping my confidence. I wouldn't say I'm attracted to them beyond just friends though. I'm hoping I meet someone that I'm actually really attracted to, I'm getting there, I think!
     
  2. Its always nice when that happens
    When you do ,you have to start to touch them more hands or shoulder and of course go for a kiss wether it works out or not is not the point its about showing up with a romantic agenda so she is not seeing you as a gay friend. Also don't talk to the them all the time on the phone or texting save it for face to face meetings. BE BOLD HAVE FUN
     
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  3. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    Hey, just out of curiosity what type of meetup groups are going to. Arts, writing, languages, etc.. I have meetup app and am going to do most of those group meets as well..
     
  4. That’s awesome! Good for you.

    I’m still too much of a coward. I don’t see my situation ever changing.

    Glad you’re starting to move ahead with your social life and make female friends.
     
  5. Man ,DONT EVER SAY THAT ABOUT YOURSELF . You never know when the moment things are going to turn around;)
     
  6. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    Your situation will change just put yourself out there. I’m doing it myself now after years and yes it is a little fearful but you do it more and more and that goes away..
     
  7. Yeah I know, I've never been physical but I know I have to do that. It's funny cuz some of these girls are doing to me what you tell me to do to them (touching me on the shoulder or whatever), so I am seeing how it works I suppose. I'm getting more comfortable with it I guess
     
  8. Lots, I go to at least one every week. There's one for Young Single Professionals, New Friends, Hiking groups, Indoor Rock Climbing, Arts and Culture, etc. those are the main ones I've been going to
     
  9. Hey, you should try Meetup! At this point, I still have some anti-social tendencies, like I'll have a Meetup or something coming up and I feel like I don't want to go, but I make myself even if I don't feel like going, then it turns out to be a good time
     
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  10. GigglingTrout

    GigglingTrout Fapstronaut

    Super cool, man. I'm glad to see that you're improving and feeling awesome

    I really should start forcing myself to do things like this...
    The idea of group social stuff makes my stomach turn, and I would love more than anything to finally put that phobia to rest
     
  11. Despite the fact that I still get antisocial about going to these events, I still end up usually having a good time at them and meeting people. Then I tell myself that wouldn't have happened if I stayed home
     
  12. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    Very good! Keep it up as you go out you will be meeting new people all that time. That is the way to do it. Putting yourself out there and seeing what happens. Talking with others and socializing is the best thing to do.
     
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  13. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    What's this meetup thing?
     
  14. This is also where I am in life.

    How do we get past this and start socializing like normal people?
     
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  15. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    People and even therapists will say to out yourself out there as much as possible and force yourself into uncomfortable situations. Eventually the phobia will wear off but will take time eventually as you start talking more and more it will become easier. Even I have trouble with relationships as you are forcing yourself to try and be comfortable with another person.
     
  16. It's a website where you sign up for all manner of groups, based around a variety of different interests, and then go and "meet-up" with the group members in real life. So it's like creating a real-life social circle from scratch. I don't know where you live but it's all over the world. I find that it's popular with adults who are past their school years, and who are sick of just staying home, sick of online dating, and sick of just talking to people on social media. Basically you can go on the site and see what groups are in a certain mile radius of where you live and see what interests you, or you can even start a group yourself. I highly recommend it! Perfect for the socially awkward, socially anxious
     
  17. Last night I went out, a girl I met through Meetup invited me out to a boardgame pub with her friends. When I got there, it was her and three of her female friends. Then two more female friends showed up. Finally eventually two guys that were friends of the other girls showed up. I was easily the oldest one there at 35, most were in their twenties. It was basically a night of silliness and giggling, a little too much for me. The girl who invited me, I'm not attracted to her and I just see it as an opportunity to make friends. I was most attracted to the girl who was the quiet one of the bunch. We tried to play boardgames, but nobody had much of a long attention span, which was disappointing. Oh well. At least I went and had an experience and can learn from

    Also yesterday at work. There is a cute female co-worker who just switched over to the same program I work with. She is ultra-cute. She is also much younger, like probably not even 25, also a single mother. Occasionally she will do things to get my attention and even grabbed my physically. Yesterday she came to my desk for no reason to tell me a story about something that happened with one of her clients, and when the story was turning out to be a long one, she said "maybe I can sit down here with you on your lunchbreak and tell you about it". I took that as her wanting to have lunch with me. And my (and now our) supervisor also happened to be sitting at my desk! IF she wasn't a co-worker, I would be really interested to see where this could go. Plus I am her senior in terms of work position, and that's prohibited there. Maybe if I leave the place? Which I am interested in doing, finding another job
     
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  18. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    definitely pursue the second girl. You can always find a different job like you said.
     
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  19. Yesterday I was at the mall just minding my own business. A group of teenage girls passed me and one of them said hi to me real quick and then they all walked away giggling. Even though they were teenagers, it feels good to be giggled about :D
     
  20. You know there is another benefit to going to the Meetup groups every week. It gives me ideas for where I might take girls on dates, when I get to that point. I've gone to a lot of cool, fun places through Meetup, that made me think "I could make a fun date out of this". Prior to Meetup, with no social life and just staying home alone, I wouldn't have had a lot of ideas for dates
     
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