Things I learned to AVOID relapse.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Playmaker97, Jan 25, 2018.

  1. Playmaker97

    Playmaker97 Fapstronaut

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    Just a few things I learned after my first run, that people might find useful to help avoid RELAPSE.

    Background: After a 10 year addiction, 68 DAYS HARD MODE- careless somewhat O relapse, but still no P for 75 days so far.

    Things to look out for:

    1. Social media/Internet - Instagram, Facebook, Twitter too many triggers, the less time spent on here the better.

    2. Understand that no excuse, is a good enough excuse to relapse. You might be having the worst day of your life, you might be depressed, pissed off, anxious, experiencing flatline- NONE of these is a good enough excuse EVEN if you/your brain might be telling you it is, it is NOT. Now is the time to learn to deal with the hardships of life with new methods: meditation, yoga, reading, cold showers whatever try anything but PMO. Focus all that energy into more intense exercise/diet learning an instrument, learning how to increase your income, anything anything else will be more beneficial.

    3. Awareness of thoughts- any thoughts of P, or any imaginations of P, any throwbacks are just as bad as watching P itself. Your brain/ your addiction will try and trick you into thinking about things you've seen in the past, I NEED you to notice these thoughts and cut them off straight away. Go do something, think about something else, if you can't control yourself think about something sad, just make the transition from being horny/lustful to trying to feel something else.

    4. Edging/ or doing things that you may THINK are harmless or will not lead to a RELAPSE, are all a fucking TRAP and you need to stay away from them. Your brain or your addiction, will trick you into falling in these situations, and the next thing you know you are at the point of no return and you have RELAPSED. On my 68th day of hard mode, for some reason I thought it was ok to put on a condom, and I told myself
    this could do no harm, and I would never relapse as by now I had been able to control myself, and had got so far, and I RELAPSED(only some form of M, and O relapse no P), and I felt I had betrayed myself. But the point is I shouldn't have even allowed myself to be in that situation.

    5. Create a set of rules for yourself that will help you avoid the triggers/ thinking and behavioural patterns that have made you relapse in the past. Follow these rules closely, and if you were to break a rule, make sure you punish yourself in some way, make sure you feel as if though you just RELAPSED but you only broke one of your RULES. I feel by doing this you are able to create some BARRIERS, and some WARNING signs for yourself. So instead of the SUCCESS of your REBOOTING process being dependent upon one thing only ( did I RELAPSE?), you make it dependent on a few things (set of RULES), ask yourself every day did I break any of my rules today? If so I will try harder and focus more the next day. At this point warning signs should be going off, and you should be thinking "I'm getting close to a RELAPSE I need to focus and follow my rules. " Etc etc

    Please post anything that you have learned so far/or anything you are doing that is allowing you to avoid relapse.

    Suggestions from other Fapstronauts:
    Travis90210- "I'd add that one of the most underrated relapse prevention tools is just to run away from the situation. If you're at home and you feel urges, just go somewhere else. Literally anywhere else that you wouldn't relapse. I like to just get in my car and drive listening to music until I feel like I've calmed down enough to go back home."

    Hope some of you find this somewhat helpful, and good luck on your rebooting journey.
    Peace
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2018
  2. Great post. Really summs up alot of key information very well. Its posts like these that have helped me to internally summarize and reinforce my convictions to stay away from PMO. So thank you very much. I would also add to be gentle through the process, not weak but gentle. Also allow for appropriate rest. And if you relapse, dont beat yourself up. Just pick yourself up and keep moving forward. You may lose alot in a relapse but you wont be at square 1. Just minimize the loss and get back on track.
     
    Tt1000 and Playmaker97 like this.
  3. mikeyb

    mikeyb Fapstronaut

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    I really appreciate this post. I look to use these tips as I push toward my goals.
     
    Playmaker97 likes this.
  4. Bounty007

    Bounty007 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for this bro!God bless! I am here to read words of encouragement and to also make sure I can be accountable to people on here. Thanks for helping with this thread
     
    Playmaker97 likes this.
  5. jest

    jest Fapstronaut

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    Very nice post!
    I wish I had been aware of the things you pointed out when I had first heard of NoFap. I can relate to everything you've mentioned and I'd like to add that:

    If you wake up right BEFORE a wet dream, the urges you'll have will be immensely tough to resist.

    I've relapsed many times because I wake up in the middle of the night and I sense that I was about to have a wet dream/was in the middle of one but there was no "finish" and so I end up "finishing" it myself. It's definitely something that breaks my streaks way too often, still not sure of an effective way of fighting it.

    If I can come up with a proper strategy I'll be sure to let you all know, and likewise if anyone has any ideas on how to solve it let me know.
     
    gunslinger215 and Playmaker97 like this.
  6. Playmaker97

    Playmaker97 Fapstronaut

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    Perhaps look into improving your sleep, is there a reason you wake up in the middle of the night? Does it happen often?
    Try looking for ways to use up that energy, anything but RELAPSING, maybe do a quick workout, maybe go for a night run, or maybe think of something really disgusting/putting off (example: play a disgusting/painful sports injuries youtube video- or play like music you hate or eat something really spicy like chillies or something that will make you go and drink water and put you off your urge- or anything that will put you off just have it by your bed so when you wake up that's the first thing you go for and think of nothing else) that will make your urge go away. Something along those lines- hope you figure it out bro.
    Good luck
     
    jest likes this.
  7. Iron Patience

    Iron Patience Fapstronaut

    I cannot even find the right words to express my incredible joy and inspiration every time I read these guiding lines! And my deep respect to the author, who has obviously fought hard every day for every line! DEEP RESPECT!
     
    Playmaker97 likes this.
  8. Optimist85

    Optimist85 Fapstronaut

    Thanks for sharing.
     
    gunslinger215 and Playmaker97 like this.
  9. Adg2587

    Adg2587 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing. I've found that cold showers and reading a book also help. I used to PMO right before I went in the shower and/or right before I went to bed. I found that if I can replace pornography use with these beneficial things, it has helped.
     
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  10. Travis90210

    Travis90210 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks dude, every post like this helps us all keep going. I'd add that one of the most underrated relapse prevention tools is just to run away from the situation. If you're at home and you feel urges, just go somewhere else. Literally anywhere else that you wouldn't relapse. I like to just get in my car and drive listening to music until I feel like I've calmed down enough to go back home.
     
  11. Playmaker97

    Playmaker97 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot man, I really appreciate your kind words, it's nice to see that this post is reaching out to people. The more we know early on, the higher our chances of defeating this monster. I even come back to read this post often as it reminds me of my journey so far, and the things I need to do, to free myself. Anyway glad it's helping, good luck and keep going, you got this!
     
    gunslinger215 likes this.
  12. Playmaker97

    Playmaker97 Fapstronaut

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    No worries, hope it helps!
     
  13. Playmaker97

    Playmaker97 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing with us, sounds very promising, cold showers and reading a book, is a really good combo. Keep up the hard work, and good luck!
     
    Adg2587 likes this.
  14. Playmaker97

    Playmaker97 Fapstronaut

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    That's a really great suggestion that I missed out, and you are right, it's extremely underrated, I will add it onto the post, thanks a lot for taking the time and sharing, good luck on your journey man!
     
  15. Playmaker97

    Playmaker97 Fapstronaut

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    How we doing boys? I find myself in a difficult day today, as I went out last night, got drunk then got high, had this really cute girl with me, but I didn't feel comfortable going all the way cause of my PIED, and today I'm just tryna hold on, the urges are coming strong. But I know I have it under control, I just don't know whether to start seeing this girl or not :/
     
  16. gunslinger215

    gunslinger215 Fapstronaut

    Great post. Bookmarking it for reference
     
    Playmaker97 likes this.
  17. Optimist85

    Optimist85 Fapstronaut

    Sure meet her. The best way to form new habits is to spend time with her. If you don't want to have sex, you don't have to.
     
    Playmaker97 likes this.
  18. Playmaker97

    Playmaker97 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your reply man, yeah I guess I will do that- though it's easier said than done, also congrats on your streak!
     
  19. Playmaker97

    Playmaker97 Fapstronaut

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    How are we doing boys?
    Haven't written in ages so I just thought I will just drop by to say say a few things.
    Today marks 122 days (bit of a random number but whatevs) without P for me and 54 days since my last M relapse.
    I would say I'm definitely at the stage where I have complete control, and no trigger or thought will ever
    make me watch P again.
    I'm 21 now, I'm just looking to move forward in life now and I've definitely been talking the talk, but now it's time to walk the walk.
    And this won't be easy, and there will need to be changes in habits , behaviour and mentality.
    However so far, trust me this journey has been worth it, coming from someone that's been struggling with mental health for 2 years now,
    I have to say doing NoFap has definitely had that positive impact on my life, definitely feel a little more connected, and every day seems a little brighter!
    Change is key, keep going it's worth it, this is coming from someone that's been on both sides, I was there starting my streak not sure about NoFap,
    fuck me I was even questioning whether NoFap was just made as a troll website so that you can't fap, hahaha how delusional was I? and how obsessed with P was my mind jesus.

    But yeah let me know how you are all doing, and if you've learned any new ways which help to keep you on track and help you avoid P, please keep posting them, so we can help
    more people escape this illusion of heaven that the devil set up for us.

    Peace,
     
    Optimist85 likes this.

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