Things parents & kids say (Funny)

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Kenzi, Jul 7, 2017.

  1. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Don't lick the dog!
    (in effort to clean the dog - my daughter)
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2017
  2. Lmbo! Love it! It's true you think "am I really saying this!?"
    ItsNeverTooLate and Kenzi like this.
  3. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Have any to add @Broken3?
    I'm sure you have something hilarious a time or two :)
  4. I have more about the things they've

    My son (at 3) had to give compliments to my daughter & I and mine was that I was "good at cooking & smacking butts"

    My daughter (at 4) after asking for chores to make money then asked if she could have holidays off (also at 4) told me I wasn't the boss of her brain.

    At my daughters 4th grade parent/teacher conference the teacher told me my daughter was really starting to enjoy reading. I said that was good bc she didn't used to. Teacher said "well she said you like to read". I said I do. Teacher says "yeah she said you read books then you and your friends get together, watch the movie and drink wine".

    After my daughter (at 12) had the puberty video and she was telling me in the car how they gave them pads and they brought in a pair of underwear and showed them how to put them on. My son (at 10) overhearing said "WHAT!? Who doesn't know how to put underwear on!"

    Love the funny moments! :p
    Reverent, SOSo, Spiff and 3 others like this.
  5. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

  6. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Daughter saw strawberry soda in a two liter for the first time.... Declared "I didn't know that there was strawberry root beer"!
  7. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Whenever the boy goes to "speak" for the dog, he uses a French accent.
    Finally, I said "you know he's a German Shepard, right?"
    Boy "I know, that's why I'm doing a German accent"

  8. Spiff

    Spiff Fapstronaut

    This neighbor kid was over the other day playing with my kids, he's 5. They had been playing for hours and he hadn't said a word to me. All of a sudden he walks up to me and declares "sometimes I make too much cereal in my bowl" and then walks away.
  9. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    I looked outside cuz I didn't hear the kids playing anymore.
    Kid #5 was in the next door neighbors driveway with.... Something in his mouth.
    I said "what is in your mouth?"
    He said "I don't know!"
    I said "do you often put things that you don't know what it is, in your mouth?"
    He said "I guess"
    I said "is that sanitary?"
    He shrugged.
    I said "is this really something I have to ask?"
    @Rock_Star said "like father, like son"
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2017
  10. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    To kid#4...."You can't hug people not parents when they are on the pooper!"


    As she runs after someone and just Walks in


    ..... Ah, kids.
    Being little is great.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. SOSo

    SOSo Fapstronaut

    Child in my activity classroom with playdough:

    :Makes throne:
    :Sits queen on throne:
    :Makes king:
    Play roughly goes like:
    "You're a fat, mean king and I don't want you here anymore, get out!"
    "Oh, I feel so much better now that I don't have that stupid king here. Now I can enjoy my castle all by myself!"

    Mind you, this was a couple of days after re-discovery of PMO. First time I laughed in a while.
  12. Was driving my 5yr old nephew around the other day and told me I "scared the "trap" outta him" when I started going! Priceless :D
  13. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    I mean, if you have to be good at two things, those aren't bad choices.

    The two stories I'm about to share come from the same hilarious 5-year old.

    He and his sisters were making homemade slime, and somehow he got some of it on the ceiling (guess they got a little animated as they were playing with it).

    His dad (my best friend) says, "Cody, no more playing with slime inside the house--PERIOD!" Cody walks by me, dejected, and under his breath says ".... more like exclamation point."

    A few weeks earlier, Cody's mom was giving him a piggy-back ride. Cody said, "Kevin's coming out!"

    "Who's Kevin?"

    "Kevin is what I call my peepee when it gets long."

    *she slowly eases him off her back and sets him down*

    "You call your peepee Kevin?"

    "Well, only when it's long. When it's short, it's Bob. And if it's normal, then it's just Stuart."

    No one had any idea how he came up with this. Then they figured it out:

  14. Lmbo that's funny!
    Deleted Account and Kenzi like this.
  15. That's great!
    Kenzi likes this.
  16. Oh yeah after the black bear incident yesterday same 5yr old nephew tells my bro in law he's not allowed to hold him anymore bc he almost got him eaten by a bear
    Deleted Account and Kenzi like this.
  17. Spiff

    Spiff Fapstronaut

    My 7 year old just now "How is this fun? The eclipse isn't fun at all"
  18. 5yr old nephew AGAIN had us crying the other night..

    He wanted to watch "Puss in Boots" which he kept calling "Captain Boots (capin boots)" who he said he was going to be. Then says his Dad could be "Humpty Dumpty" and I could be "Kitty Soft Paws" which of course came out more like "Titty Soft Balls"

    Needless to say we were dying every time he said it!
  19. My oldest son, when he was about 6 said "Mama, you are soooo careless... :)" What he meant was caring :D
    My youngest at about 8 (she uses English only at home) said "Mom is a very good cock, you know?" Since then we say "chef" instead of "cook", just in case ;-)
    My middle was heavily into Indiana Jones and used to refer to Harrison Ford as Harrison Frog all the time :)
  20. In the car yesterday my
    11yr old: why is she looking at me?
    M: "maybe she thinks your cute"
    11yo: "no"
    M: "maybe she thinks I'm cute"
    11yo: "really mom"
    M: "what I'm cute"
    11yo: "yeah to boys"
    M: "awe you think I'm cute"
    11yo: "adult boys mom"

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