Thinking about my crush

I haven't seen her in about 3 weeks. Its going to be 2 more weeks until I see her again. I have stayed in touch with her a little on WhatsApp since last time. We both stayed at the same hospital for about 5 weeks half a year ago and got to know each other quite well. I was feeling so down but with her around everything was a little less miserable.

Then she has returned for a 1 week stay at the hospital every 4 weeks since then to take a break from her daily life. So every 4 weeks for the last 8 months I spend a week with her.

She is probably coming back in January some time. I am leaving the hospital for good the 13th of January.

My mental state have been so bad recently. I really wanted to invite her on dates and all that but I got hit by the dark knight of the soul and attempted suicide instead. Forced hospitalisation in the emergency psych unit.

I really want her to be my girl friend some day soon. She dances like a queen, are funny and have a cute laughter.

I really want to be with her but I'm so afraid of messing up.