Thinking of emailing the Samaritans or someone

I try to be strong and not be over dramatic. I try to put things off and try to avoid painful situations. I don't like to talk about how bad things are. I like to fantasise so I forget my troubles. The fantasies aren't always sexual sometimes they're romantic. There are things that are going on in my life that I feel too embarrassed to talk about even on this forum. I've isolated myself and feel so alone. I don't want to kill myself but I don't think it would be the worse thing in the world if I happened to die.


I don't know why I've written all this since my reason for writing this post is to ask about people's experiences of contacting the Samaritans. I won't call them because I think emailing will be better since I can get it all out. My plan was to wait until I was able to talk to a counsellor but I can't afford it at the moment and I feel like I need to talk to someone. I can't go on like this. I need changes, I to talk to someone asap.