Thinking of getting an arranged marriage

Namekian23

Namekian23

Fapstronaut
This has been on my mind for several years. As of now Im a 36 year old male struggling to find myself in the world of marriage and relationships. All my life Ive been trying to find the right one which has been impossible. Part of the reason was my porn addiction. Also I never knew how to talk to women and had low selfesteem. Its better now but Im not quite there yet.

On the other had the biggest problem is my parents who are very traditional and culturally orientated. Deep down they would rather have me marry a Buddhist Vietnamese woman and carry on the family legacy. Its a ton of responsibility and Ive tried to avoid it my whole life.

However now that Im older Ive realized all the misopportunies Ive had with women maybe happened for a reason. I know now that none of them were the best fit. And besides society nowadays have taken marriage less and less seriously. Its not as strong as it was before and Im a type of person who takes marriage at heart.

But also a small part of me stills holds on to the American culture. And thats having the freedom to choose whoever I wanted to be with. But in the end I know it will end up the same way as it did before. And being 36 I dont have much time left. I want to have kids and start family one day. And maybe having an arranged marriage where I can still keep all my values might be the better choice.
 
I’m a white American man, and I can tell you that the Western ideal of finding your true love is not what the media portrays it as. Nowadays people use this as an excuse to live their lives without moral responsibility or self respect, and many people are burned and broken inside as a result. In the past in America or the West, it’s was more like the Eastern way of arranged marriages, because all cultures used to believe that the divine has an arrangement for our lives, including who we will marry. This has helped humanity to thrive and prosper for thousands of years, in harmony with gods and your fellow man.

I think the more traditional route will give you greater fulfillment in your life than the so-called American way. I met my wife through some friends introducing us, we also have a similar faith, and that has helped us through the challenges of life and marriage
 
If you get along well with the girl I don't see any reason to be opposed to it. An arranged marriage to a decent girl would make your life easier it seems, especially if you feel ready to marry someone.
 
Sunshine_Traditions said:
I’m a white American man, and I can tell you that the Western ideal of finding your true love is not what the media portrays it as. Nowadays people use this as an excuse to live their lives without moral responsibility or self respect, and many people are burned and broken inside as a result. In the past in America or the West, it’s was more like the Eastern way of arranged marriages, because all cultures used to believe that the divine has an arrangement for our lives, including who we will marry. This has helped humanity to thrive and prosper for thousands of years, in harmony with gods and your fellow man.

I think the more traditional route will give you greater fulfillment in your life than the so-called American way. I met my wife through some friends introducing us, we also have a similar faith, and that has helped us through the challenges of life and marriage
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Hey man thanks for your feedback. Yeah I've been thinking about this for quite some time now. I think just years of trial and error and finally realizing what's best for me in the long run is what really matters. Like I said, a part of me still holds on to the American dream, but in reality, I've learned that this isn't always the case. And given the fact that I don't have much time left, I think it's best that I go with my parent's wishes. I mean I've tried many times to get into a relationship only to have it fall apart again and again. I'm pretty sure I've learned from my mistakes by know. But yeah thanks again for your advice and feedback. I really appreciate it.
 
Mob Barley said:
If you get along well with the girl I don't see any reason to be opposed to it. An arranged marriage to a decent girl would make your life easier it seems, especially if you feel ready to marry someone.
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Yeah you have a good point. In fact, there are some relatives back in my country that can look for a suitable wife just in case. Also, my parents have friends that have connections to their own family members back in my country. So, there's some leeway at least. In addition, I kind of know what kind of personality traits for the type of woman that I'm looking for. Other than that, thanks for your support. I really appreciate it man.
 
I am thinking of going to one of this agency's were they try to find a partner for you, so not a dating app but how is it called...relationship mediation.
 
victorrr said:
I am thinking of going to one of this agency's were they try to find a partner for you, so not a dating app but how is it called...relationship mediation.
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I understand relation mediation involves counseling of some sort. However I think its better than having your heart broken a dozen times throughout your life. I dont know where your at right now but I hope everything works out. Everybodys deserves to be loved and appreciated.
 
blue-sky-900 said:
I understand the reasons.
I'm just saying that it's ideal for a woman to have the same life goals as you.
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I hear what youre saying. Life goals are important but I feel its the values that we share that will keep the marriage. I value marriage religion and everything thats cultural and traditional. And I hope she values the same thing. I definitely agree that similar life goals is important. And maybe hers might be different than mine. But Ill do my best to support her even if her goals are not the same as mine.
 
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