Thinking of hiring an escort...

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Thelambofdeth, Nov 17, 2019.

  1. Thelambofdeth

    Thelambofdeth Fapstronaut

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    So some background on my situation:

    I'm 26 and I basically have crippling social anxiety. I feel into the incel scene and few times and because of my lack of any actual female companionship, I do have a porn addiction. I do have a few friends, but they don't really share the same interests as I. For the past year and a half, a least one a week we go to the couple of bar. Ones is a wine bar , one is a dice. In that span I've been bit on only a few times and it's either gone nowhere, or I was too oblivious to notice. But I flat put cannot approach any female I see out that I'm attracted to. It never gets any easier for me.

    The top two recommendations are also dating sites and meet-ups. I've tried dating sites and it hasn't worked. Not bc the dates don't really go anywhere or whatnot, but because I can't get any. I've has tinder, okc, and humble active for years and I cant get a single reply. I'm 6'3, black, I work out 3x a week and have six pack abs, I groom to the point of metro sexuality, I wear literal high fashion suits(tom ford, slp, Burberry,) I make decent money, and I live alone. I know I'm not really physically attractive, but I'm not totally ugly either, so the cpmplate lack of any replies or matches on these sites have all but destroyed any confidence I could have with females irl.

    When I go out I'm basically uniformly ignored by females. Hell, pretty often I get compliments from guys based on my attire but females completely ignore. I don't get looks, or glances or casual chit-chat. Nothing.

    The second recommendation tends to be meets ups. And while that is probably more conductive to meet a mate, its not possible for me as an introvert. None of my friends are really interested in the ones I'd attend, and I simply cannot go alone. Thus the only option I really had are the bars I frequent, which has beared no fruit.

    Hence why at this point entertaining hoookers seems to be the only option. The feeling of loneliness and unhappiness is reaching levels I cant handle. Constantly seeing everyone else with dates, fwbs, gfs, wives, etc while I have nothing is just killing me. If I has the luxury of dating sites or parties, of if I had tons of friends or was still in college, or an extrovert, I would have other venues, but I don't.

    At this point porn isn't enough, and I know empty sex as a business transaction likely won't help my situation in the long run, but I don't know what else to do.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  2. Fifth Horseman

    Fifth Horseman Fapstronaut

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    Can’t tell from this post if your apprehension is sexual performance anxiety or social anxiety, or some combination. There’s a ton of disagreement on this site, but if it’s performance anxiety then maybe the hooker visit (it may take a few) could possibly get you past that and restore your confidence to some small degree. It’s empty and mechanical (and of course costly) but as long as you view these visits realistically it may not be harmful to your psyche. I am sure a bunch of people will now come in and violently disagree either on religious or moral grounds, but it’s a common way to move ahead in many parts of the world and just because it wasn’t needed by some of us we shouldn’t judge.
     
  3. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    Up to you. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 31, via a woman from an online dating site. Haven't had sex since. Perhaps getting the deed out of the way helped, perhaps not. It definitely did not magically fix all my woes. The path I'm on now is ditching the porn and masturbation. Going to SA meetings to learn to let go of my lust related crap I'm holding onto and to learn to be a better person. Being able to share with other guys, face to face, is a good help. Aiming to see women as people, not sex toys. This means learning to be friends with women and not expect sex in return. Taking a mindset of considering sex optional, not a life requirement. Sex will be after marriage with a woman.

    Take whatever advice from this that you will.
     
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  4. L'empereur

    L'empereur Fapstronaut

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    you still young probably if you invest hard in yourself the next 2-4 years good things can happen .

    Much love .
     
  5. Thelambofdeth

    Thelambofdeth Fapstronaut

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    My apprehension stems from my situation. It's one thing to see an escort if you're in a slump you're looking to get your luster back. That's not my predicament. I'm desperate with no other options in sight and I'm afraid I'll form a delusional, unhealthy attachment and furthur descent down this unhealthy spiral.

    I lost my virginity two years ago in a relationship that went nowhere. I've had next to nothing sense.

    Not that young. I've worked on myself the past two years, and nothing has changed. I'm in the best physical shape I can pretty much be, and I go out routinely. Good things haven't happened, and there has been no signs of them happening.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  6. L'empereur

    L'empereur Fapstronaut

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    It ain't all about that and you know it .

    Focus.

    Much love .
     
  7. Thelambofdeth

    Thelambofdeth Fapstronaut

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    It really is for the most part. If you're not good-looking, you better be rich or a beacon of charisma. And I'm in fact neither.
     
  8. Blues017

    Blues017 Fapstronaut

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    I'm in no position to give you any advice on whether you should hire one or not, or what you should do. But you know, nobody will "cure" your loneliness. Does not matter if it's one escort or a gf, or tons of them, or even some friends. That feeling is not going to go anywhere no matter how many people you surround yourself with.
     
  9. Max666

    Max666 Fapstronaut

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    No, I wouldn't do it. It wouldn't be a good idea to get a hooker. You'll just be telling yourself "I have to pay for sex because I'm not good enough to get it on my own". You'll feel like crap after, I've been there. Instead, join a club or course or something, a class that attracts a lot of women like Qigong, call them in advance and find out how big the class is and how many women vs men. Your end goal is not to have sex, it's to find that special someone...and then have sex. A prostitute wont build your confidence, it'll do the opposite. You need social skills, that's it.
     
    debaser likes this.
  10. Thelambofdeth

    Thelambofdeth Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I think you're pretty right. Issue is my social anxiety. Its crippling. I was love to go to meet ups and social activities, but I just can't take that step. It's a lot easier when people when you're in school but I'm not college aged anymore and the opportunities are a lot less.
     
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  11. Demodectic

    Demodectic Fapstronaut

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    If you can afford to blow the $200 then the hooker idea might not be so bad. Maybe it will get you out of the slump.
     
  12. Cool I Can Use Spaces

    Cool I Can Use Spaces Fapstronaut

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    Never been with a prostitute. Have considered it. But it seems like something that would leave me a lot worse off emotionally after it's over as the woman gets away as fast as she can with my hard earned money.

    I'm just going to keep enjoying the things I like in life and not worry about women and relationships.
     
  13. Prostitutes are just an unscrupulous being looking for your money.
     
    Cool I Can Use Spaces likes this.
  14. Poseidongodofthesea

    Poseidongodofthesea Fapstronaut

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    Well you work out 3 times a day and you have 6 pack and are tall,the tall part is a huge plus most women have a height standard from my experience . What kind of women do you like Latin black mixed white . Also what state or city do you live in . If you give me some information I can help you out . Don't waist your time or money on escorts it's really tuff to get to know if you will vibe well together from just a picture and when you meet in person it could be akward and you will still have to pay .
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  15. ⏳⏳⏳

    ⏳⏳⏳ Fapstronaut

    No, you're seeing just a select few. Most people are either alone or with a long term partner who they're scared will leave them.

    When it comes to prostitutes - they're great. If you do your research beforehand you're likely to end up spending quality time with a beautiful woman. But the question is - what next? Will you pay for another one (and another one and ...)? That can get expensive. Will you start looking for a "normal" girlfriend? Having sex with a prostitute will not give you any extra confidence and won't remove any mental blocks you might have. At least it didn't for me.

    So do whatever you want but don't expect anything out of it beyond the sex.
     
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  16. Poseidongodofthesea

    Poseidongodofthesea Fapstronaut

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    Also how long have you been pmo free the reason I ask is because when you abstain from looking at porn and masterbation you create a natural longing and desire that can not be stopped it's not you it just nature .
     
  17. Self Worth

    Self Worth Fapstronaut

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    Stop caring how others think, what society thinks, nobody gives a fuck about you or me (the only one you should care about impressing is yourself)

    your happiness and closeness needs to come from yourself alone, you need to be happy and content with yourself.

    if you can't enjoy your own company no ones else will.

    all you need to know is if you can be happy by yourself, you will be able to comfortably get into healthy relationships and if they end you will get over it and become a better person.

    basically your internal problems with loneliness makes any relationship you get into unhealthy and when it ends you will become way worse than you were before going into it. your internal problems is whats making you uncomfortable because you need them to like you. STOP FUCKING CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. its only you that you need to like you.
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2019
    Fifth Horseman likes this.
  18. This is a smart idea. But i think you talk too much, just go out and do it then come back to us.
     
  19. Thelambofdeth

    Thelambofdeth Fapstronaut

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    I like all women. Black, white, mixed, Latina, doesn't matter. I don't even have high standards. Most of the women I tried to match with on tinder or messaged on okc were average looking women. Mostly alternative and weird. I don't even attempt with the hot ones. And I live in Maryland btw.

    I don't care what people think. I'm just tired of being alone.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  20. Poseidongodofthesea

    Poseidongodofthesea Fapstronaut

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    First thing is first no porn no YouTube no big booty Instagram models nothing not even vid. games and stop pulling your sausage its going to be hell and the feel good chemicals you been getting from looking at porn are going to be depleted and your going to feel like shit it's basically pmo is reverse yoga . To fight this cold showers excercise and socialize especially socialize get your dopamine rush by talking to people . And yoga means way of life not the stuff you see in California twisted up like a pretzel its a science of living and nofap is yoga and it works .
     

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