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Thinking Of Making A Bigger Change

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by VyMe, Feb 1, 2018.

  1. VyMe

    VyMe Fapstronaut

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    I'm 16 years old. Ever since I was 14 I dreamed of trying MMA fighting. Why? I've never been in a fight, I've never done any other martial arts or anything and I don't know if I would be good at it, but I feel like I might be or I think I might at least enjoy it... You see... I have a pretty boring life especially now that I'm addicted to porn. Before I got addicted I didn't have any hobbies, I loved hanging out with my friends (I guess if you consider that a hobby, then I had 1, BUT JUST 1) and nothing else. What did I do when I was alone at home? I don't know, play games, watch videos, movies, nothing active or interesting. Never felt like I needed a hobby because I would hang out with my friends pretty often so I didn't even consider trying anything new. But then... I got addicted to porn... It made me distant towards my friends, couldn't think of anything to talk to them about anymore, so it just became awkward, they began thinking that I just simply didn't like them anymore and... We eventually just completely split up. So what now? My friends were the only thing I had and now I don't even have that. And it's not that I can just easily make new friends, no, porn ruined it all, I became socially awkward. By the way the addiction began a few months before the summer, meaning that I've been at home wasting my time for quite a while... Porn also affected my motivation for school, so my grades went down... So now I need a hobby to be happy but I also need to study if I want to pass the year... These both require time and lots of it. So now that I've been clean for 15 days I feel like it's the right time to really start my new life. I already study more on school days but I'm not as happy as I should be because when I have free time, I still waste it on something I don't really even enjoy. I recently realised that no matter how hard I try to force myself to do school work on Saturdays, I can never get myself to do it, I just end up wasting the whole day doing the same old boring things, meaning.... I have a whole day free. So I will try and find a place near me where I can finally try MMA. Even if it's just 1 day per week, this is something I've wanted for over 2 years, I hope I find a place for me.
    I'm also really looking forward to this because this should also help with my recovery, since everything I've been doing up until now was so boring, porn was the only thing that would excite me, so maybe I will have a found a better substitute, MMA, a fun and exciting activity that I can enjoy every week!
    Thank you for reading, I hope you found my story interesting, if not... sorry, I'll try and improve.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2018

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