This challenge is completed by all or none! [CLOSED]

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by The Great Safecracker, Jun 25, 2019.

  1. That's how I feel as well. There we have a problem, and it feels like something has to be sacrificed because of it. But taking care of that issue brings only more benefits. I need to remind myself of it frequently.
  2. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    I'll go ahead and do a post of the day.

    It takes a village to raise a child, maybe it also takes a village to fully recover.

    We know there are a lot of unhealthy dynamics in the collective, we don't have to focus on the negative. And even without judging it that way we might just have our preference and tend to be in our echo chambers, either online or in person.

    But there's no question there's power in true community, which I think is more diverse than a preferred group with apparently similar interests and more depth than just posting stuff online, though really careful writing can go a long way.

    I am starting to see how this can work not just in recovery, but just .. real human relationships. People who care about the whole, even if it's as simple as the somewhat dishevelled guy picking up trash around the bus station, presumably for the simple reason it's his town.

    This is of course the simple message of this challenge, we're all in it together. In that sense, there's no boundaries not just in terms of our potential for us individually, but also no separation from each other.
    Ghost in the Shell likes this.
  3. Nicely written. I think nature has intended us to be cooperative species. When you recycle, do the dishes for the houshold, volunteer for something etc. there's a psychological reward during and after. Different than personal accomplishment but still good.
  4. @Awedouble @optimum How do you think individuals (and hence communities) are affected by not being that responsible for anything on the collective level?
  5. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    July 16, 2019

    Checking in
  6. DeepSeaDiver

    DeepSeaDiver Fapstronaut

    Ugh. I hate to post this but I relapsed yesterday. I am sorry to the guys on this thread who have been able to start and continue their streak. In hindsight, maybe this challenge was to big for me to take on with my history.

    So I am at day 1 today.

    @optimum @Awedouble @Rising Force @Jerky @control your life @StraightEdge3616
    Thank you for your support. You all should decide the rules going forward and continue. This is Day 6 for all of you!

    At work currently but will post my assessment as to what caused me to fold. I think you all deserve to hear that if you want to read it.
  7. Dont worry too much pal. Im sure you tryed. Just try again and do it.
    Jerky and DeepSeaDiver like this.
  8. Okay, thanks for being honest @CADiver. That's respectable. And you owe nothing for the others, even though this challenge is what it is.
  9. We will try again until success guys ... the fight is on !
  10. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    We will prevail so long as we continue the fight. Never give up.
  11. I know this challenge is closed but I just wanted to stop by to say two things:

    1. Awesome work everyone! I think this challenge is a great one, especially in combating selfishness. You’re thinking of each other and not only about yourselves; all for one and one for all. Very inspiring to see you all rise and fall and then rise again with each other.
    2. I would very much like to be a part of the next challenge you have.
    Best wishes!
    Force Majeure likes this.
  12. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Yes and of course that's kind of the point, we cannot support each other without some detail and it was unclear to me whether we keep trying but that seems to be the consensus.
  13. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    We're only hurting ourselves. At times people may think they can just go away from the recovery community and do more with their life, and a lot of traditional recovery meetings may be repetitious, but of course the community itself is poorer for it if there's not that much devotion and people just kind of get what they want out of it and take off.

    I think related to this it's also important to consider what we mean by responsibility. Lots of people seem to have an idea of accountability as responsibility, and there are just some things you're expected to do and not do as a standard. I think a better way is to think of it in terms of ability to respond. Human beings and their life situations are complicated, at any given point any one of us may not have the ability to respond skillfully, not just to our own but others in our community. But the point is we actually do try to do that rather than just go with a cookie cutter program and when that standardized view doesn't work just blame people whether that's ourselves or others. We are not machines.

    So I guess we have to care about and be interested in that ability. Just kind of doing the standard things and hoping after X amount of time everything will turn out great is just too simplistic. No doubt we'll see an improvement if we stick with the essentials, but I don't think it's ever too early to care about the entire reality of what we are dealing with, which is not the same as the laundry list of things to do but in addition to it.
    Ghost in the Shell likes this.
  14. So, what will happen to this challenge? I don't know. This was intended to be a one-off challenge. With that in mind, it's pretty clear what should happen now.

    If you think this challenge should continue in some way, please let me know. And don't forget to justify your opinion. I could have many points but I will tell them later.
  15. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    We could make it a One Day at a Time check-in, where we just count each day and notify the group of our progress as it stands, as a team. We count days as a group and reset the group counter should anyone relapse. But we all continue, doing our best to make the daycount grow bigger and bigger and resetting if needed. This way our goal remains that we have to beat our last reset. We keep going, trying to beat our record as a group.

    If we start today, with Day 1 and we all make it to tomorrow clean, tomorrow it will be day 2, followed by day 3, on and on until we reset, if need be.
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2019
  16. DeepSeaDiver

    DeepSeaDiver Fapstronaut

    Hey everyone.

    Had a slight handle change; just because the old one could be read a couple different ways.

    I am not sure if this matters to anyone, but since the thread is still fresh from the challenge, you could start it again from the midpoint, or take 10 days off of it as a way to reset it. So now it’s a 25 day challenge. For those who are still on board it’s now day 3 of 25. Just an idea.

    Short reason why I relapsed.....

    This time was a lot like every other time. I start the commitment to no PMO. That means I have to come up with a different mindset and strategies for dealing with my day, my stress, and coping with everything. I have not yet crafted the right mid set to get ahead of this, but through this challenge and the last week, I have gained some valuable insight from members on the forum. Like everything in life, this is a learning opportunity. I continue to learn.
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2019
    Jerky likes this.
  17. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Regarding how to continue: We have to face the fact that it may never be finished depending on what specifically is going on with particular individuals who have opted in - or at least for a really long time with continual resets. With that in mind, I thought of the possibility that when measured individually, those who complete it stop supporting those who are still trying via this challenge, because they will have completed it. The spirit of the challenge will still hold during those persons streak, but frankly people just do not have unlimited time and resources and a part of it should be valuing that. Putting a limit on it will also encourage people to take THIS time more seriously rather than expecting that it will just go on forever. It is just not realistic to expect people online to continually support strangers when they may in effect be even inadvertently enabling them in the worse case scenario. (more on that below with intention) Also a lot can be done in the original time frame of 50 days. If you have people who are willing to share at the very least a very solid plan can be worked out between all who are involved, so even if everyone else in the challenge completes 50 and one person reset they will have had that much detailed support from all the people during that period even if they reset.

    There is of course still the general posts online and anyone can post in reply to threads if they haven't want, but we have to face facts: Sometimes people haven't hit bottom, and they kind of don't care that much. A time limited reboot is also very different from the goal of lifelong abstinence that is the case with mainstream addiction recovery.

    One factor is intention. You can't exactly just get people to straight up admit this, but one reason for posting online could be kind of a lot of hand holding, and even healthy support does not equal recovery. I do think realistically any addiction recovery endeavor may attract people who just want the social aspect but are not really going much beyond that, and I think the success will be limited because that's how they see it even if it's never really admitted. Sometimes people read and post just to connect, and it isn't so much about changing themselves.

    And I think the intention that a challenge like this really demands is being all in for all of the people. Since there's always the chance that people may not fully appreciate that and just show up to be supported, that's why the time limited basis is appropriate. You can imagine any number of people out there may just go to the standard 12 Step recovery groups like AA that's so prevalent, just because it's a place to feel better - but obviously not everyone who shows up does so in the spirit of service. Some report they go years or over a decade not taking it seriously - that's hardly all in.

    Communication is of course a huge factor. People have to really be willing to be helped and everyone else needs to know what they need help with. Even if any given member may not feel like they have that much to contribute, I think actually having the intention that you're going to really be there for the other members can make a big difference - and doing so during this limited period of time, as if this is an opportunity that's once in a lifetime for all involved, an urgency that it's an opportunity that will never come again. If people can actually see it that way I think it could be very effective.
    DeepSeaDiver likes this.
  18. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    BTW another idea if people want to use the format where people "graduate" so to speak: When any member completes the 50 that could make room for new people to join - if anyone wants to do that, to kind of carry on the tradition with a different group..
    Force Majeure and Jerky like this.

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