This happens every time I feel like I'm near 100%.

Hey guys. So, as far along as I am with attempted reboots of varying levels of success, I've started to see some patterns. Especially this last time which has been successful, over two years now without PMO. Unfortunately, something else keeps happening, which is out of my control but almost feels like a new cycle of relapse/reboot/feel healed.

Every time I reach near 100%, I manage to somehow injure my penis and/or balls. Afterwards, it doesn't feel the same, the stress I suppose is what makes my pelvic area tense, the dick/balls hurt from the injury, and all the old tension in my legs and my upper spine comes back at once. Suddenly I'm this hunched over, withdrawn guy who can't look at people and seems to talk in a higher voice than is natural for me when I'm not in this state of mind and body.

Anyway, this time it was in my sleep. I actually had a very erotic dream which I will not bother sharing details about here since they're quite triggering and not very important to the point of this thread. Basically, what happened in the dream led to both in the dream and in real life, me having a rock hard instaboner. We're talking 100% steel rod, something I rarely achieve even at this stage of the reboot... though I think of this as an above average erection, not even just the 100% normal we hope for after PIED.

Sounds good, right? But... my dick had been in an awkward position in my boxers, so it was kind of crunched up against my leg, pushed down and left and stopped by the bottom of my boxers, which were pinned tightly between my leg and the bed. Long story short, I'm actually blessed with a large penis, and this time it got very hard and because of my sleeping position at the time and what I was wearing, had nowhere to go.

When I woke up, it was awkward and painful and my boner quickly reduced to half mast or less. I had also had a pretty big wet dream, so I went to clean that up. At that point I felt that the half of my dick that includes the head, was feeling colder than usual. After all that, I went back to sleep eventually, though it was pretty stressful. When I woke up, I woke up with a half morning wood like from the days of fapping too much.

Something like this happens everytime I feel 100% rebooted. This time it was a bad sleeping position in the night, last time it was my messenger bag swinging and hitting my erect penis while I was walking, the time before that I was trying to adjust my pants around it and accidentally pushed it hard with my hand. It's like the environment is against me and my mind and body don't know how to cope with a fully erect penis anymore.

All this said, I've been to the doctor sometimes when it happens in the past, and they often laugh it off and tell me to just calm down about it and take some anti-inflammatories if that makes me feel better. 3-5 days later things end up seeming fine in most cases. But there was one time long ago when it permanently changed the angle of my erection (I set a laptop on it stupidly)... so I'm pretty scared when these kinds of things happen.

What I'm asking here though is... why? Why does that happen every time I'm at 100% finally. This seems to be a consistent pattern that shortly after I reach that milestone, this kind of thing happens. Almost every time has been after feeling very manly and finally like, one with my cock and back to normal. Wtf.

 

Anybody?

 

Anybody else? I'm trying (and succeeding more than usual I think) to keep it together emotionally and not let anxiety compound things but it's tough. I feel like PMO gave me fragile dick.

 

Nobody cares since I've gone a long time without fapping.

 

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