This is 1 reason why I can't stand the german society & their relationships

When couples have tensions or breakups over money, it’s not always because they value money above love. Actually it may be precisely because they never cared about money that much! They know there are much more important things in life than money.

So they never talk about money much when they’re dating, and then they get married or in a cohabitating relationship and discover that it’s hard to have shared life goals, trust, and a resentment-free relationship without having some sort of agreement on your approach to money. Especially if you don’t have a lot of it. Partner A might want to save up to buy a home (a reasonable life approach) and Partner B might want to keep spending on memorable life experiences (also a reasonable life approach). Partner B is always wanting to spend, and Partner A is always disagreeing, and this gets old really fast. Partner B starts accumulating a balance on their personal (not joint) credit card but doesn’t tell Partner A until much later, even though Partner A is the only one who makes enough money to take care of that. Or Partner A has paid off their students loans but then discovers soon after marriage that Partner B has massive student loan debt and the household will have to pay many hundreds of dollars a month for years. Resentment kicks in every bill cycle.

In other words, if you don’t find money sexy, that is even more reason to have some conversations about it before diving into a marriage or serious relationship.

 

I think it is possible that the root cause of this is being completely ignored.
This was not a problem a 100 years ago! Now before laughing and thinking how is this relevant. Think of how society have transformed since then.
It was not completely organic, European women and society as a whole needed to be pushed to drop their old ideals and morality and to come to this new world of: sexual "liberation" and money worship which makes that society easily controlled.

A strong family man (mentally and physically), in a cohesive society will fight to keep his family and society prosperous and virtuous. But the new modern man and woman do not care about anything, since they do not feel any belonging and no moral basis and the only thing that matters is money, this is why all relationships are heavily influenced by material since money is the new god and by consequence those who print the money are the new demigods and prophets of society who shall never be criticized. Or you will be labeled as a heretic.

The strangest thing I honestly find with Germans, is the fact they do not know their history.
They do not know the conditions of Weimar republic Germany nor the decadence that permeated and how it came about.
They do not know that for example, most if not all women and children in east Germany were brutally raped under the occupation of the Bolsheviks, they do not know who the Bolsheviks leaders were!
They do not know that a similar treatment happened for west Germany, where people were starved and forced to sell themselves to the allied "liberators" to get food to eat, and do not know that many German men were deliberately starved in concentration camps where they could have been easily fed.
They do not know that pornography was pushed in Germany after the war and their culture actively changed to create that liberal society and that immigration into Germany is not completely organic.

 

I understand what you intend to say, and the sexual 'liberation' is nothing but a huge mascarade. A wolf in sheep's clothing.
But I don't understand why a strong family man (mentally and physically) is desperately needed to keep a morally virtuous society. This task isn't some sacred duty only men can preserve. In fact, what is truly needed is an egalitarian approach and revision toward old moral stigmas. the only way to prevent socially cohesive phenomemons like prostitution and rape, that victimizes mostly women and children, is an alternative education based on teaching young boys their limits toward girls and to respect both their and the girl's humanity. This way, men will not be accomodated to see women as sexual objects, whose any intercourse with will result in unbalanced shares of blame and discrimination. And expect to have a distorted form of apologism designed only to protect them from their own moral obligations and humility. I hope people understand my point.

Empathy and compassion need to incorporated into the concept of sexual intercourse. Sexuality shouldn't be a competition where the winner is the one who has most sexual partners among all, or simply considered as a comodity (prostitution/porn). People tend to see sex as another form of biological simplistic 'need', like eating and pooping, and sleeping, while it is vastly different than all those needs. Sex is above all a social phenomenon, that involves two individuals. After climax both men and women release a hormone called oxcytocin, it is a biological mechanism designed to install trust between the two sexual partners and push them to colaborate in order to raise any potential offspring. It true that sex has both physical and biological drives, but the most important aspect is the societal one.
So, it isn't an aberration if one might see those who collect 'partners' as callous unemotional narcissists. Or at least weak hypocrites who seek only the appreciation of their liberal societies while bashing more deep important elements. The psychological impact of 'casual' sex is burdening and destructive in the long run, because casual sex isn't soo casual after all. Your hormones, including oxcitocyn, don't care if it's 'meaningless' sex or not, they will be released, and even if you try to ignore it, it will have an impact on your mind.

I think materialism and money worship, are among the mobilising agents of liberalism, and sexual 'liberation'. They facilitate any comodification of human experiences, and enable capitalists to profit from the populations in ways that would never be possible in alternate settings. The only other agent that makes people blind to their own suffering are mass media, they best serve as a form of distraction than a real instructive entertainement, at least nowdays. Media are responsible for creating celebrity cults that is empty and glorifies trashy behaviors. A good example of that are reality tv shows.

 

Cant be paraphrased any better than this.

 

Thank you for the articulate reply, I can only wholeheartedly agree with you.

 

Yo I'm German and The "BILD Zeitung" is basically the FOX News newspaper of Germany. We call it "Boulevard Presse". They write loads of bullshit. Don't read that crap. If you want real good journalism, I recommend "Die ZEIT" or "Süddeutsche Zeitung".

Paarship is a dating/matchmaking platform for people above their thirties, who wanna get married. And it's definetely not the most famous or popular Dating-platform (vs. Tinder or Bumble). There have been numerous scandals around parship and their gigantic publicity machine.

WTF this is actually sick, wrong and almost xenophobic. There is so much wrong with what you just wrote there. It's just not true that german girls get pregnant fast, men don't use condoms and they all don't use the pill. You are spreading lies base on what you heard??!! There is no proof of what you're saying and BILD sure as hell isn't a believable source. They fotoshop prominent people on to nude bodies!!!

so having a lot of sex is bad??? What the fuck...

 

Are you aware of the hormonal influence sex has over the human brain ? Many hormones are released, including dopamine and oxcytocin, in both genders. Having 'casual' sex can leave a person, male or female, more empty than ever. Because it's a form of psychological/emotional severage. For this very reason among many others, mutiplying partners will certainly have a harmful impact on a human's mind. There is no such thing as a one-night story.

 

I think a lot of the degenerate - sorry, 'sex-positive' - statistics in the press are predictive programming. They'll tell society women sleep with 7 men on average, when it's only 2 in reality. Then, everyone starts adjusting to fit what they perceive to be the normal standard, and behold! Demoralisation.

I've seen this first-hand with demographic change predictive programming in advertisements where I live. A certain race very heavily over-represented in corporate and governmental advertising years before they actually showed up in person. It's so obvious once you see that reporting isn't reporting; it's propaganda designed to shape culture to fit the vision of the owners of everything.

 

dont be sad and loose hope man

majority of man maybe almost 90% of man watching porn and 60% of em is addicted, and its increasing tho

but u will find man like us in these forum who fight with porn addiction, yes we are small in number compared to the addict....but we are here , we exist ,, even among fully sexualized world we are here and alive

so even tho maybe its 80% woman like that in german , i believe there will be a woman who are not like that....(just like our case)

and idk i dont really believe with media nowadays sometime its exagerating thing's so they gained a lot of viewer

and tbh i feel that most of big city have a problem with society,, like in my country the capital city in my oppinion is hars af...prostitution everywhere, fast life, highly poluted, a lot of corruption etc

but if u see the world beside that,, like other small city, its not as bad as like that ... the people are nicer,,, the woman are nicer...try to explore more my friend...our world is not that small

 

Multiplying partners is a destruction of one's mental health. Pure and simple. Those 'sex-positive' medias are only liberal-capitalist propaganda outlets. Their whole 'sex-positveness' is a discreet strategy with a goal of increasing the demand of sex toys, porn lobbies, and all similar industries. It's priority is by no means the mental stability and fulfillement of the population. The bitter truth is that in the end, it's all about strenghtening the flux of incoming clients toward some industries specialised in the sex trade, or some items related to it.

 

I think that some kind of arguments/disagreements about money are inevitable, as when you are married you (generally) share all your money. People are brought up in different ways with different attitudes towards money. So one partner might be very frugal and wish to save money, another might be used to spending a large portion of their money every week, perhaps as motivation to go to work or have something to look forward to. Co-living and sharing a life with someone is difficult, even if you love them very much. Especially as society becomes a lot more diverse in terms of attitudes, so there is no one way to be a good husband/wife (if there ever was), but you have to work it out for yourself. This is hard.

I actually think that 7 sexual partners is remarkably low, considering how much opportunity there is for 'western' women to have sex. How many different people would you have had sex with if you had received an offer over 50% of the times that you went out in the evenings? And even in shops, waiting for the bus, etc. If I was one of only 7 men that she had slept with, I would know that my partner had been very choosy indeed.

 

every tenth relationship is not even that much, also why do you use BÍLD as a source, it is the worst paper ever...

 

Young people need to first learn how to drive a golf before they can drive a Ferrari. Having a relationship is great, but you need to know yourself well enough and find the right person for yourself and sex is part of that journey.

 

You can always try. I understood that for you, sex is only a matter of performance. What a one-dimensional view.
It's sad you view it this way. But the impact on your brain and mind is very much real and irreversible.