This is a Sad New User Introduction

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by NF ENG, Sep 13, 2018.

  1. NF ENG

    NF ENG Fapstronaut

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    Hello ppl.

    I'm new to this site and hopefully it will help me to stop my porn addiction and masterbation issues. I've started watching porn related images and contents at 11yrs old (I know I know, suuuuper bad), funny how my first try was from curiosity, using some shampoo in the shower and using both hands to do the "move". That ended up badddd, I felt the orgasm yet nothing came out cuz screw it I was just a dumb immature not fully developed child (and my d hurt like hell cuz of the shampoo, of course). P.S: Wow it feels weird sharing my never-told fapping experience, a little discomfort...

    Continue: So that's how this stupid addiction started. I've tried to stop it multiple times, the first try was like two month after I started masterbating, in which I stopped fapping for exactly ONE YEAR. Then young stupid kid decided to give himself some reward by masterbating again and thought he fully controlled his sexual desire. After then I CANT stop it again. (Tried couple other times but all failed in less than a month)

    Now I'm in my first year university, and like 30 minutes ago I visited a porn site and masterbated again... (That's why I name the title to be a sad intro.) IT REALLY FEELS BAD!

    What's scary was that I have to obey to my own body's sexual desire and have no control over it... My current typical fapping frequency is bet. every 3-4 days, and I JUST WANT TO STOP THIS BAAAAD HABIT/ADDICTION.
     
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  2. NF ENG

    NF ENG Fapstronaut

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    I'll keep this post updated and check in daily JUST TO GIVE MYSELF SOME ENCOURAGEMENT
     
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  3. NF ENG

    NF ENG Fapstronaut

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    DAY 1
    I'm completely okay from morning to after school. Once I'm in home and nobodys around, oh man the feeling of visiting porn site creeps in my mind... GOTTA STAY STRONG!!
     
    PowerfulSRE likes this.
  4. PowerfulSRE

    PowerfulSRE Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Hello, welcome to the community. I wish you good luck on your journey. You are stronger than this. Try to kill thoughts the moment they arrived in your mind. Find something that will help you not to think about PMO at all.

    Here, I encourage you to read this post. It's a long one, but I strongly recommend you to read it. It helped me a lot, I hope that you will find it useful too.

    Stay strong!
     
    NF ENG likes this.
  5. DLambert

    DLambert Fapstronaut

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    Welcome aboard!
     
    NF ENG likes this.
  6. NF ENG

    NF ENG Fapstronaut

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    Day 2
    So far everything is smooth (its just day2 so yea), I FULLY scheduled my time to avoid being bored, in addition to this one of my friend is also calling me everyday after school until prob evening (thats like 5-7+hrs non stop talking sh*t), it works like someone is monitoring me so I wouldn't feel the urge to do something crazy. To be continued.
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2018
  7. NF ENG

    NF ENG Fapstronaut

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    Day 3
    HEY ITS SOOO LATE, I'M JUST GONNA COPY&PASTE FROM MY OTHER POST: Alright daily check in time. Its 3:51AM now once again gonna sleep right away. DID NOTHING TODAY SPENT MY TIME ON YOUTUBE VIDS AND MANGA WTF!! I need to manage my time more productively. Oh no. Btw no urge on PM at all today so that's good news.
    GOOD NIGHT MY LOVELY FELLOWS
     
    WanderTruth likes this.
  8. Stay strong.. You'll make it!
     
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  9. NF ENG

    NF ENG Fapstronaut

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    Day 4
    Thank you ppl. Today I think I slapped myself three or four times, caught myself thinking nudity and crazy porn stuff. Almost entered the link on html for porn site.... Still under control, I can definitely feel that my subconscious is gradually losing it's strength as my conscious mind fight its way to quit this bad habit (before I used to resist for a bit and then taken over by subconscious thirst). However like I said before, I NEED TO USE MY TIME MORE PRODUCTIVELY.
    So tomorrow is a new start, new school day, everything will be refreshing again.
    Good night my dudes.
     
  10. StarCounter

    StarCounter Fapstronaut

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    You can make it!
     
    NF ENG and WanderTruth like this.
  11. NF ENG

    NF ENG Fapstronaut

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    Day 6
    PASTE WHAT I HAVE IN THE OTHER POST CUZ I'M TOO TIRED
    Its kinda like day 7 in an hour or so.
    Yea I know I jumped a little(day4-> day7). Haven't been updating for the last two days from what's called daily updates. I guess doing assignments and just personal time (youtube and manga) on phone really made me lazy to do that three step walk to turn on the computer to post updates...
    Anyways so far everything is ok. Just tons of assignments and studies that kills my brain cells each single day. I've been sleeping at around 3-4AM to 9AM for the past three days and have to rely on COFFEE to stay alive lol.
    I'd say 70% of my day is fulfilled. I know that's not enough, there's always that 30% chance to trigger unwanted thoughts. But I believe I can handle those thoughts, at this point.

    It reallly feels different than before after posting my "secrets" and posting daily no PM updates. In the past I only keep this very personal and when that PM comes to mind, it won't go and I'll just blindly follow where it want to lead me. NOW after updating my status on for NoFap community, when it comes, there's a weird feeling more like I've been dishonest to what I have promised to NF ppl and to myself (the encouragements from ppl makes me feel bad to PM more than what I used to feel bad personally) So it strengths my mind to fought back those thoughts.
    Good night you kindly ppl. GOOD NIGHT TO NF ENG.
     
  12. NF ENG

    NF ENG Fapstronaut

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    DAY 7
    [So lazy NF ENG decided from now on he's gonna copy and paste from his other post to keep this post updated:) ]

    Today was smooth in some way, I created a time schedule to follow yet followed none (correct me on that, I followed the go bed part) Made me feel shi**y... About half hour ago I was on my phone watching vids, and caught myself off track in my imaginary fantasy, but quickly pulled myself back. Everything'll be fine.
    MUST MUST MUST make my day better tomorrow. No more procrastination on assignments, no more excuses, STUDY you damn!

    Good night my fellow.
     
  13. zestyy

    zestyy Fapstronaut

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    You got this man. I relapsed yesterday and it RUINED my week! Fuck! Today is my first day back. One day at a time my friend!
     
    NF ENG likes this.
  14. NF ENG

    NF ENG Fapstronaut

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    DAY 9
    So where's day 8? I ate it.
    To Zestyy at #13th floor, dont over stress yourself. Avoid those triggers, ignore those dirty minds. We aint the pure kind due to the stuff we've seen from porn, but try to act as if you are the purest individual. Passing my best wishes to you to regain what you have previously achieved.
    So... about day 8, as stated before I usually do my daily postings at around 1AM, but I was on a call with lovely gf last night and yea, from 1AM to 5AM. There's not much to talk but we all need that comfort from each other's voices.
    Today my housemates(10 ppl total) decided to have hotpot party. Guess that counts as a social interaction haha.

    KEEP YOURSELF SAFE MY FELLOWS, LIVING IN GOOD LIFE.
     
  15. zestyy

    zestyy Fapstronaut

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    10 days man bravo! I'm catching up! I've been doing a lot of research into the spiritual side of this whole nofap thing, and it's really inspired me.
     
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  16. NF ENG

    NF ENG Fapstronaut

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    DAY 13
    TOO STRESSED... 3-4 hrs sleep daily... TESTS QUIZZES ASSIGNMENTS LABS MIDTERMS
    WTF
    In terms of mood I felt even worse than compared to my past fapping... I don't even feel the desire cuz my brain is filled with deadlines and test dates...
    Take care my dudes. I'll try to stay strong before my mind breaks down.
     
  17. NF ENG

    NF ENG Fapstronaut

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    DAY 15
    Submitted my assignment late, again. 0 out of whatever it counts, don't matter to me anymore.
    I SUCK. I SUCK. I SUCK.
    Yes I'm in a depressed state. Sleep always cures me yet I can't do it now because there's a test tomorrow.
    NO SEXUAL DESIRE, JUST A LITTLE DEPRESSED.

    KEEP WORKING HARD MY DUDES.
     
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  18. Millardff

    Millardff Fapstronaut

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    You can do it! Good luck!
     
    NF ENG likes this.
  19. Awakened & Aware

    Awakened & Aware Moderator Assistant

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    Good luck! Even if you have a troublesome month -- stay strong. The rewards will be worth it!
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2018
    NF ENG likes this.
  20. NF ENG

    NF ENG Fapstronaut

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    DAY 18
    Thanks to #18#19 floor, hope you guys can fight PMO with me till the end :)
    I'm still there~ Still killing the thirst though the thought of visiting porn site almost took me over couple times..
    Not too much to comment on my strategies, just lots of self monitoring, never give yourself a break, NEVER!
    Now are some nonsense evening talking.
    FUCK UNI I HATE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU
    FUCK TESTS QUIZZES MIDTERMS ASSIGNMENTS
    FUCK PROCRASTINATION
    FUCK COOKING OWN FOOD
    :emoji_cry::emoji_cry::emoji_cry:
    :(:(:(
    I'm not good at all... encountering some minor depression
    It's the feeling of anxious and dread for no actual reason
    Hopefully I'll recover once next week is finished... I've already setup plans for visiting my highschool friend and stay there for five days (no class reading week Oct15-21)
    PEACE OUT
     

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