This is fucked up... I'm not sure if I'm denying or actual HOCD...

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by saddist_adult, Nov 8, 2022.

  1. saddist_adult

    saddist_adult Fapstronaut

    82
    30
    18
    Flashbacks during hardcore addiction periods... Back then i was extremely addicted to transwoman porn... (Long story about my PMO addiction you can check my profile to see previous post)

    I started off with straight too early around ages 13 maybe then i got bored find another genre and exploring all type of categories including gay, transwoman, hentai, yaoi, trap etc... I found myself addicted to transwoman and hentai trap like literally can't seem to get enough of it...

    At one point I started to even dream about being in submission getting fucked by my friend which is fucking terrified me to think right now... I didn't really think much back then cause it just dream also I was already in love with women... Plus that time i did some anal masturbated cause my penis didn't get hard anymore due to excessive masturbating, i dare to tried anal and it felt good but after orgasmed i get extremely depressed, guilty, shameful, and regretted afterward...

    After overthinking memories and recent event that occured HOCD i seriously couldn't believe what i have done... My porn addiction was wild...

    When i discovered nofap in 2019 that's how i stopped my PMO addiction since then... Even after 3 years of nofap i still get the triggered and addiction effect my brain literally i couldn't function well at all... The damaged i have done to my brain...

    I literally regretted discovered porn... I just want my life back but HOCD things happening i can't live by the moment in peacefully... I seriously can't forgive myself... Imagine getting triggered by pornography and questioning your own sexuality daily at the same time... Is fucking crazy... I'm mentally exhausted and defeated despite beating porn addiction left with HOCD is the final boss...
     
  2. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Hi @saddist_adult I have been where you are. Check out my story and some very important articles in the information tab of my profile. Let me know if you want to talk or if you found anything valuable.
     
    saddist_adult likes this.
  3. saddist_adult

    saddist_adult Fapstronaut

    82
    30
    18
    Yes, i need help...
     
    modernstore99 likes this.
  4. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Have you tried a reboot yet? DO you know what a reboot is?
     
  5. saddist_adult

    saddist_adult Fapstronaut

    82
    30
    18
    No, and what is it?
     
  6. Dr.J_76ers

    Dr.J_76ers Fapstronaut

    446
    660
    93
    A reboot is when you choose not to engage in porn and masturbation for a specified time period. In my experience, 150 days is a good length taking into account the pornography you are addicted to and your age. Look, especially with HOCD, you need to develop strategies for limiting any obsession over it. I've conquered it relatively recently. I think you need to maintain an active lifestyle which will help you to become indifferent towards these intrusive thoughts. INDIFFERENCE is the biggest thing in my opinion. Once you are indifferent, you get to the point where these thoughts are going to start decreasing in frequency too.
     
  7. exi1e

    exi1e Fapstronaut

    35
    53
    18
    Just don’t overthink it and go on living your life how you want to live it. You love women, you know you love women, so don’t focus on intrusive thoughts, we all have them.
     
    saddist_adult likes this.
  8. saddist_adult

    saddist_adult Fapstronaut

    82
    30
    18
    Omg how i thought reboot about something else... Actually i already quit porn and masturbated for almost 4 years now, i was hardcore on PMO addiction... Almost ruined my life entirely, Social anxiety, depression etc...

    This HOCD occured since January now it already been 10 Months that i been fighting with it...
     
  9. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Yes like others said, rebooting is not engaging in any artificial stimuli and abstaining from all sexual stimulation for 90 days. After that is a rewire, where you reprogram yourself to normal sexual activity.

    Check out this article for an overview:

    Evolution has not prepared your brain for today’s porn

    and these FAQs for common questions:

    Porn FAQs

    Let us know if you have any questions, it is a lot ik
     

Share This Page