This is Gonna Be Hard

B

Bluebellybrain

New Fapstronaut
I've been watching porn and masturbating for 11 years, starting when I was 14. Now I'm a grown adult-- failing at relationships, dissatisfied with life, unable to concentrate, unable to find pleasure in things that I formerly found beautiful and fun.
I've had accountability partners, but lie due to shame which makes my problem even worse.
I think my triggers are loneliness, boredom, being in bed, early morning, and bedtime.
There are days that my will power is sufficient, but others where I feel like I'm powerless against the temptation to PMO. My longest streak in 11 years is 37 days.

I found this community and am excited about it. Any advice/guidance would be greatly appreciated.

My plan at the moment:
- Keep my electronic devices in the kitchen and only use them standing up.
- Go for a walk outside every morning to get out of bed
- Take a cold shower every evening
- Journal my emotions about living alone and my journey every night
- Start with 30 days
Any thoughts?
 
Bluebellybrain said:
I've been watching porn and masturbating for 11 years, starting when I was 14. Now I'm a grown adult-- failing at relationships, dissatisfied with life, unable to concentrate, unable to find pleasure in things that I formerly found beautiful and fun.
I've had accountability partners, but lie due to shame which makes my problem even worse.
I think my triggers are loneliness, boredom, being in bed, early morning, and bedtime.
There are days that my will power is sufficient, but others where I feel like I'm powerless against the temptation to PMO. My longest streak in 11 years is 37 days.

I found this community and am excited about it. Any advice/guidance would be greatly appreciated.

My plan at the moment:
- Keep my electronic devices in the kitchen and only use them standing up.
- Go for a walk outside every morning to get out of bed
- Take a cold shower every evening
- Journal my emotions about living alone and my journey every night
- Start with 30 days
Any thoughts?
Click to expand...
Welcome to the community :)
I would suggest you to install an app wich blocks all pornographical content. Then don't start with 30days mate ! Better start with 3 days and then 7days and so on. Going for a walk outside is great! Try do some sport. Read about Porn Addiction! inform yourself!

Very important : Don't be afraid of failing!!
 
It's great that you decided to kick off porn & masturbation from your life!
My advice, which I recently underestimated is: be as much as possible outside.
 
Hey,

First of all, welcome i'm here. I'm new too. Same problems as you, depression, anxiety, unable to form relationships and all that stuff.
But really, you have to pick yourself up and beat this. I don't know how to word it but being busy is the best thing to do. I force myself to read go to the gym and never be bored. Your plan is good, stick to it as much as you can. When the porn thoughts start flowing into your head, remember why you want to stop. Remember, if you don't do whats hard now you'll fail later in life. Stay strong bro, keep your head up !
We support you
 
Regarding your thread title: No, if you do it right, it's not going to be hard. It's easy once you have your whole being on your side to get rid of your addiction. Unfortunately most people never deal with their unconscious believes and are split in two. One half wants to quit the other half wants porn badly and so they have to fight themselves. And that is indeed hard.

To understand better what I mean you can read this thread I wrote if you're interested: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/fearless-of-triggers.217806/

Also I highly recommend to watch a part of this video, in which J.B.Peterson, a world-famous psychologist explains what an addiction really is. Watch the four minutes from min 36 until min 40 and just exchange "methamphetamine" with "porn":

You have to learn how to grab that Cyclops by the balls. Understand it's viewpoint. Take away it's power it has over you which comes from curiosity, excitement, tendency to self-destruction, and so on.
Believe me this way of looking at your addiction will be immeasurably more useful than the classic "avoid triggers and be abstinent" approach.
 
That was incredibly helpful. I'm a medical professional and it helps to think in addiction terms. Still trying to drill that mindset into my brain though.
 
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