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This is how I track my streaks and relapses?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Nov 28, 2019.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Basically a green cross is if I relapse to an image or few images for 5-10 minutes.

    A yellow cross would be worse. That would more be like relapsing to social media for 20-30 minutes, or even relapsing to porn for 20-30 minutes.

    A red cross would be the worst. This would be relapsing to anything, but usually porn and social media for about an hour or over an hour.

    But if I relapsed to a few images for 5-10 minutes once and then later in the day done it again, this green cross would turn in to a yellow cross and so on.

    This is how I track my streaks and relapses. Could you guys give me an idea on my progress? and if this method that I am doing will work? september-2019-calendar-printable - Copy.jpg
     
  2. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    From my own experience and from what I've read about addictions and brian, moderating out of addiction doesn't work. I could go in details explaining why not, but let me just say it's how our brains function. Once you've developed addiction you must tell your brain that addictive behavior (PMO) is off the table for good. You can/will have unplanned slips as shit in life happens, but it should be clear to your brain that slip is a big mistake, period. This way brain won't interpret slip as a delayed reward. Have an emergency preplan in place in case of a slip, so it doesn't develop into relapse. Analyze what went wrong, try to learn from your mistake and move on with abstention immediately. This way you'll tell your brain that it needs to adopt and get dopamine fix from other activities. Brain will fight you back, by making you physically and mentally ill, but give up eventually and rebalance it's chemistry to new reality.
     
    Ogikubo, ANewFocus and Asgardian36 like this.
  3. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Yeah like I don't intentionally plan on relapsing. It's like you say I will have unplanned slips and shit happens.

    But would you at least say I am headed in the right direction?

    Another issue with this is guys who are not even addicted to porn still sometimes use it? Like you don't need to be addicted to porn to like it or sometimes use it?
     
  4. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    According to the calendar you're making some progress, but you still have way too many slips to force your brain to start rewiring process. Addicted brain needs long abstinence periods to start rebalancing it's chemistry, regrowing depleted D2 receptors, starting to build new neurological pathways/putting PMO one to sleep. It wouldn't be such a big problem for recovery, if you'd slip once or twice in 3 months period, but 30 times is way too much. Slip could happen only when built-up stress and anxiety are so high or withdrawal symptoms so painful that you temporary lose your self-control. These occasions should be extreme, like GF leaving you, someone close to you dies, you lose a job etc. That's what I meant when I wrote "when shit hits the fan". No one's life is so shitty that shit would hit the fan 30 out of 90 days if you're not living in a warzone. Ending addiction is a battle where your mind is your worst enemy.

    I see no reason for someone who has no problems with PMO addiction would need to restrain from occasional porn viewing if he or she feels like it. I have the same liberal view regarding alcohol or recreational drug use.
     
  5. Asgardian36

    Asgardian36 Fapstronaut

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    Bro everything you said, I agree 100%, I hope the OP heeds to what you said.
    OP, I think you can start tracking the things you would like to do, instead of how and in what nature you have relapsed.
     
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  6. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    I would start tracking the emotional and stress and life things that may play a role in the green yellow and red exes. As you understand why those are occurring and you can care for yourself when those events occur but before you PMO that can help a lot.

    For instance, October was big step forward. November had more struggles. Why? And how could you have soothed in healthy ways?

    Another poster shared about making PMO off limits. I was able to do that with alcohol because it was going to cost me my marriage in short order. PMO has less immediate consequences for me and because others do it and it’s acceptable behavior, I haven’t psychologically made it off limits. I say moderation is acceptable in my mind. But it’s not. I need to give it up for good because it ruins my quality of life. It’s a hard mindset to get drew so I feel your pain brother.
     
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  7. I like this idea, but it does have limits, as you probably realize. I would guess you are also keeping a diary or journal so you can analyze how you are doing and explain yourself. Again, these things are helpful, to a degree. I keep logs somewhat similar to yours, so I am not criticizing.
    Perhaps a calendar in which you input plans and goals for the week might be good, you know? Like, looking forward instead of looking back.
     

  8. Relapse is when you stopped doing something for some reasonable period of time and then returned to your old behavior.

    You are misusing the word: relapse.

    You are simply showing us your pattern of use.
     
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